Who You Are?
by Mezlonious
Summary: PoetryStory – HoroRen ‘Fallen one from birth was tainted, Each little feature he himself painted, A façade so aged and emotionless, As a child beaten till motionless’… Can Horo help this soul recover? What keeps the Tao awake at night?
1. Who You Are?

**This fic is dedicated to a series of poems I intend to write along with stories if I decide to add stories to them. I'm not sure if I will be adding more but might depends on time and stuff enjoy**

**Who you are?**

Dark shadows streak his face

Weapon held tight and poised with Grace

Locked away tight behind glistening gold

Heart fallen, eyes cold

Swift and witty

What a waste, what a pity

Life has shown him no light

No rise for him, no way to take flight

Arrogance and bitter pride

Perfection chanted through each stride

Trying to reach a far off goal

This inevitably will take his soul

Hard as stone

Completely alone

Reach out for someone

Yet be saved by no one

Fallen one from birth was tainted

Each little feature he himself painted

A façade so aged and emotionless

As a child beaten till motionless

On the outside so calm and collect

On the inside the pain takes effect

This one needs meaning

Something to heal the inside and stop the bleeding

Rivers of blood take form in tears

Ren himself won't admit to his fears

Is this who you are?

Banish memories to afar

Too young to be this way

Too deep the wound on the inside lay

Gashed by horrors of the past

A world you never knew captured you fast

Entranced by simple humanity

A new lesson to strip you of your vanity

New features poke through to the surface

Could it be you found your true place?

Stare at the stars for they are your guide

They never once hurt you or lied

Even though you had wronged

You'll find what you longed

Loyal as a pup to your found friend

The one who taught you and helped you mend

New faces begin to gather

Loneliness retreats farther and farther

Content in this security

Yet still you approach things with great maturity

Shy and held back

Care and love you do lack

Though you remain defensive

Your skill and bravery are incomprehensive

This is who you are

**Tao Ren**

The shaman tournament is now over, a winner has been decided and that winner is Yoh Asakura. Ren stood with his head held high behind the cheering mass and roaring applause. At the back of this crowd he watches as his friend brushes himself off holding his injuries letting many pat him on the back and congratulate him properly. Out of these many Yoh seemed to pass glances to his team mates, Horo there cheering his lungs out Ryu chanting his masters name with the jeering hustle of the crowd. Faust standing in the middle of the crowd clapping politely with his deceased love, Anna and Pilika both smiled away watching the king of shaman be carried away. Chocolove Lyserg and all merged into one big gathering all for Yoh. One was not though, one faded to back where he started. In the shadows giving a faint smile the only form of congratulations he could offer for he felt a stab of shame knowing that his only reason for existence had just been taken away…

**Dark shadows streak his face  
****Weapon held tight and poised with Grace  
****Locked away tight behind glistening gold  
****Heart fallen, eyes cold**

As time passed Ren kept meaning to return home but to what? He had no true place with his family especially now. He had no title he had nothing to offer and no one to go to. His family didn't want a failure back. Ren sat looking out over the yard as he watched his friends scamper and play in the sunlight. Horo Manta and Yoh all trying to soak each other with the hose and hit one another with water balloons. No one really noticed him except Horo he had thrown quick glances Rens way in between playful antics. Ren sat in his window for a long while feeling like he was on the outside looking in. Horo turned and looked up at the saddened face of Ren stopping in his tracks, this was a costly mistake for him as two balloons directly hit him soaking him from head to foot. Ren had to smile as Horo twisted and jumped at the cold water seeping through his thin t-shirt. Horo placed sole blame on Ren getting sinister and teasing ideas. With a single throw a direct hit was made to Ren who sat on the windowsill. The look on his face of pure shock as cold liquid dripped from his clothes onto the floor. Rens eyes narrowed his face turned towards the one who drenched him. Loud laughter was heard from said person along with the defining giggles of the occupants of the yard.

"So you think your funny" Ren shouted hauling himself to stand on the windowsill before climbing down to the ground quickly.

"Look out Horo you made him mad" Manta squealed as Ren pounced on the Ainu who still even though about to face certain doom still chortled in his giddy way. As the angry face loomed over the cheerful lighthearted shaman softness began to show as Ren let a smirk more playful than his usual ones cross his features. Horo couldn't open his eyes he was still laughing to hard to be able to. Ren got the hose in his grasp and shoved one end down the top of the Ainu getting an instant reaction as the one under Ren tensed from the stinging cold tippling Ren from the top of him to the bottom letting the hose finally drop to the ground seeping into Ren hair and down into the freshly cut grass. Ren tried to move himself away from the water only to find his body pressed down by the blue haired ice shaman Horo. Ren looked up to glare at the boy but froze into a state of astonishment as blue met gold. Horos eyes danced around all cheerful and fresh like the middle of the ocean calm yet strong, deep and moving. Horo stared back into gold eyes that were wide and for once the colour gleamed, for a singular moment his sockets did not seep away all the emotion from his eyes, fear of being known did not hold back the true nature of those eyes as should been from birth. For once his eyes were truly golden and like glass marbles. That moment did not last Ren didn't like those eyes, those soft blue ones that never needed to be hidden in deep chasms. It was like bricks hitting Rens eyes as the stone sealed over the surface hiding the true colour making the eyes hard and dark yellow. Ren face twisted in a look of disgust not just towards Horo but also towards himself. He felt betrayed by his own eyes but more so he felt taken advantage of by the Ainus.

"Get off me" Ren spat out harshly before landing a hit to Horos face and not in a zestful way either. He stood not turning to see the damage he had done just being satisfied he'd done it. Horos eyes glazed over as he held his face due to the pain but mainly the pain from whom it was from rather than the actual blow. Ren went inside and sank to the floor cursing for being so weak. He felt like a weakling every time he looked upon that baka… what reason would he want Horo to be his friend for, better off alone was the only excuse he could muster up

**Swift and witty  
****What a waste, what a pity  
****Life has shown him no light  
****No rise for him, no way to take flight**

The day's earlier event pushed aside as dinner was served and all were called to the table for dinner. A bruise had formed where Horo was hit and quite a nasty one at that. It made his face puff slightly and the edges reddened and each and every time Horo spoke or ate a tingly sensation and slight pain discomforted him. Ren sat quietly as always at the edge not paying attention to the idle chitchat or orders directed by Anna to all the members at the table. Ren let his eyes shift up to where he had bruised Horo; he saw the slightly swollen purple and red mark he had branded with his fist thinking to himself as he usually did.

'I guess I hit him a little too hard; he deserved it for doing that to me. First he soaks me then he pins me to the wet ground ruining my clothes… but worse he had to catch me off guard, he had to tear down my guard to try catch me out. I wont let myself be beaten by that weak lesser! How could he take down my defences by smiling, by looking at me like that or by noticing I was even there… why cant I hate him' His thoughts were interrupted as Horo saw Ren staring at the bruise. Horo felt angered by this, he sat there admiring his work no doubt in Horos mind that was the reason. He turned to face Ren before directly addressing him

"Admiring our work are we or do you just like staring at me" Rens eyes shifted from the mark to face Horo directly not telling of the real reason he had stared, he had thought of ways to apologise but knew he'd never say them. Now Ren wanted to make the Ainu feel as small as he felt.

"I was wondering if you'd like the other cheek to match" Ren fiercely slammed his hand on the table leering like a lion at a challenging male. He didn't want to loose even at a staring contest, two sets of eyes fixated in a match of who would get scared and turn away first. Each put on their best and most fierce face leaning further forward to try physically dominating each other with faces inches apart. Horo looked for a while seeing bitterness and foolish pride. All the things that made Ren arrogant were him always thinking himself as the superior and the endless bragging about his perfectly sculptured physique with brains to boot. Horo hated that this boy was supposed to be almighty yet couldn't bare to be seen for one second with his guard down. Horo thought it cowardly to hide away to be afraid of yourself, as Ren seemed to be. One second just one Ren shown a tail to what he was thinking as Horos face became more pained than intimidating Rens face changed too. Horo saw this pulling back to stare at Ren as he slowly realised what had happened. He mentally screamed out insults to himself. He let that Ainu get the better of him again. He was sick of this. Twice in one day he had been jabbed at by Horos blue eyes, he couldn't take anymore. He stood and with out a word gave a dirty look to Horo before leaving…

**Arrogance and bitter pride  
****Perfection chanted through each stride  
****Trying to reach a far off goal  
****This inevitably will take his soul**

Nighttime had fallen and Ren tried to sleep but failed lying on his bed in sleepless rest finding interest in the roof. He heard a click then the door slowly be pushed open gently. He did not turn his head just shifted his eyes so he could see the top of the visitors head. He knew it wasn't Manta because he would be too short to see and it wasn't Yoh or Ryu… neither of them had blue hair. He didn't bother to move as Horo stood looking over the top of Ren glaring as if Ren had just insulted him significantly. Ren was glad the shadows hid his tired and tormented eyes, he was even more thank full that the amazing blue Horos eyes were now fell on empty sockets and the shadows dug out the piercing cerulean colour. Ren kept himself still not flinching under the watchful eyes of Horo-Horo. He kept firm not giving in just staring back unnoticeably cold.

"What do you want?" Ren hissed unkindly to Horo

"I want to know why you've been so temperamental recently?" Horo questioned holding the same unkind tone Ren held

"I have not been temperamental it's just you being more annoying than usual" Ren retorted

"This morning you were perfectly happy then suddenly you turned from actually looking human for once to an extra tightly wound brat" Horo pointed out his views on the facts

"Well what do you expect? You drenched me then you didn't expect me to get you back!" Ren hissed again this time sitting up to hiss loudly at him

"I expected you to get me back, but after you did I looked at you and for once you weren't looking down at me, for once you looked … you looked" Horo was interrupted in his search for the answer

"I looked what!" Ren nearly shouted at him

"You looked like a normal human being" Horo stated openly. Ren stared at him for a few moments stewing in his own rage fighting every urge to scream and shout till his lungs exploded.

"Well excuse me for not being like you, what? Do you want me to apologise for being alive or do you just want me to be weak, so you can take advantage?" Ren started babbling feeling misunderstood and completely pushed aside

"Your so full of crap" was the answer Ren got for all his questioning

"What would you know anyway, you know nothing your nothing but a Baka-Ainu"

Horo tightened his fist "I don't know why I even came here" Horo backed away from the bed "I don't know why I cared" Horo turned and went through the doorway. As he started to leave Ren sat in shock, Horo said he cared. Was that the reason he came? Was that all he meant in his visit… not to humiliate or look down at Ren but out of care. Ren lifted his arm up reached out to the doorway ready to ask Horo to stay but the door shut in his face, left alone in his room again…

**Hard as stone  
****Completely alone  
****Reach out for someone  
****Yet be saved by no one**

A while after Horo left Ren had switched back putting his wall up even higher than before so that nothing could look over his defences. Not even the great wall of china could compare to the height he built his wall but Ren was only human really, though great and tall and vast his wall was not strong enough to stop himself from peering down deep seeing things that haunt. This time his wall would be brought tumbling down from the inside…

Ren slept tossing and turning as memories flooded his every resting moment filling his dreams to the brim with horrors. Every word that slithered from his father's lips and fell onto his ears echoed ringing distorting his hearing. Images flash and pain seeped into his empty chest clawing with sharp razor like fingers. Each memory tore his open wound for a heart open further. Each crack of a whip and every soft cry out resulting in an old wound reopening spilling from the small frail image of the child Ren. Since as long as he can remember the crack of lightning, the crack of bones… the crack of a whip was something to be feared above all else. Years of slowly ingesting the poison his father fed him lead to this being, this demonic black withered piece of flesh filled with venom and tainted with evils untold. Everyday he became more like his father…

Ren awoke in a cold sweat clutching his chest breathing in deep to try pull back the wet hot tears that threatened to fall Ren pulled his legs up to his chest hiding his face in his knees, not letting a single tear of his fall. He wasn't going to cry like a baby or give into the pain

**Fallen one from birth was tainted  
****Each little feature he himself painted  
****A façade so aged and emotionless  
****As a child beaten till motionless**

Horo when he left the room had sunk to the floor outside Rens room not moving just sitting and staring blankly at the ground. He gritted his teeth and went over and over in his head why he even went, what could Ren possible want from him… nothing that's what. Horo tried to stop caring but he couldn't which is what got to him the most. In the middle of giving himself a speech on why not to care for someone who only cares for themselves he heard it, the low growls of a frustrated Ren and broken breathes fighting to keep in all the pain his chest held. Horo put his ear to the door listening to Ren struggle more and more to breath normal. Horo pivoted around onto his knees and opened the door ever so slightly peering in. He saw Ren clutching his head looking down at the covers fighting to keep in the screams and cries. Horos pupils went small and his heart sank watching the fight that could never be won Ren Vs Ren in an all out battle between his heart and his head. Horo rose rushing in the room closing the door with a click before seating himself on the bed next to Ren.

**On the outside so calm and collect  
****On the inside the pain takes effect  
****This one needs meaning  
****Something to heal the inside and stop the bleeding**

Horo put his hand on Rens shoulder as Ren tried to turn away completely. Horo got closer shushing Ren as he gritted his teeth and winced at blank space not liking anyone see him in a weakened state. Ren could still taste the blood and smell the rot, he hated that place in his mind that dragged him home to where his father lurks and torment ensues. Horo edging even closer but Ren couldn't push him away, too ashamed to do anything but try keep what little of his wall he had left. Horo turned Ren around and looked into Rens eyes making sure Ren looked back. Horo shushed him a few more times, which seemed to settle him. Ren looked into a sea of worry so clear and so understanding. Rens wall crashed leaving Ren feeling exposed and done for. Horo didn't seem to take advantage of Rens weakened state he just rubbed Rens arm soothingly making breezy ocean sounds like the waves whooshing in and out in and out. Rens eyes filled with hot wet tears, his deep wounds on the inside leaked their venom and poisons and pushed them out through Rens eye sockets. A single tear fell down Rens face and splashed onto the sheets…

**Rivers of blood take form in tears  
****Ren himself won't admit to his fears  
****Is this who you are?  
****Banish memories to afar**

Horo watched the tear fall in slow motion almost. The moonlight shone though shining in the glowing gold eyes as the tears reflected the light shining brightly. Horo pulled Ren close rubbing his back soothingly and placing their foreheads together. Horo whispered words of comfort in Ainu, words his mother or sister or even his father might have whispered to him in the dead of night when nightmares roamed free to haunt our minds. Ren didn't care what he was saying he just like hearing his voice. Ren let all his tears flow down releasing the poisons of the past and cleansing his soul. He sobbed into Horos shoulder weeping for all the times he was told not to cry, told not to laugh, told not to be young and alive. Horo clutched Ren tighter encircling him and replacing Rens wall with himself protecting and defending Ren as he wept in his weaker state. His cries died down after a while once his misery had subsided. He could feel the warmth of Horos breathe as it tickled his ear with every soothing word. Ren quivered in another's arms just trying to get used to the feeling of being held. Ren looked up at Horo and saw his concerned blue eyes making him turn in shame, as his eyes were now puffy with tears still hanging threatening to fall sooner or later.

Horo pulled Ren up onto his lap so Ren was completely against him with his head resting on his collarbone. Ren pulled his legs up to his own chest holding onto Horos t-shirt with a tight grip. Horos left arm hooked around Rens waist hugging him gently and his right arm settled high just above Rens shoulder with his hand in Rens hair as his head rested against him just under Horos chin. All fell silent for a moment with Ren now calm once again.

**Too young to be this way  
****Too deep the wound on the inside lay  
****Gashed by horrors of the past  
****A world you never knew captured you fast**

Horo broke the silence thinking he'd over stayed his welcome.

"Ren… it's getting late so if you're fine now I'll leave you alone" Horo whispered loud enough for Ren to hear. Ren had just started to relax in this new feeling of being held and as quick as it started it was going to be over. He felt panic rise and he gripped onto Horos t-shirt tighter snuggling down deep as if to challenge the Ainu to try move. Horo just sat still trying to work around a little to see Rens face that buried itself into his chest... .Ren turned and looked at the door but did not raise his head

" I don't want to be alone anymore" Ren whispered very softly but Horo caught every word. He froze stiff for a minute before loosening as he heard Ren sniff and felt him rubs his eyes against the fabric of his t-shirt. Ren looked quite cuddly and gentle sat in his arms with his eyes closed and wet streaks down his face from the fresh tears that had fallen. Horo sighed feeling he was being intrusive. Horo didn't want to take advantage of Ren while he was upset and it felt like he was getting to close when he wasn't suppose to. Another small thing that added to this was the time it was; they had been up long enough and needed to get some sleep. Horo tried once more to get Ren back into bed.

"Ren, I really think you should try get to sleep its late okay?" Horo whispered while slowly working his arms off Ren and leaning back slightly. Ren didn't let go of Horos t-shirt but let him make some distance between them. Rens eyes welled up again none fell he looked at the floor feeling every second exposed with out any thing left to protect himself was another second of suffering to add to the already vast amount of agony he felt stabbing at his cold heart. Ren couldn't stand this silence, he felt guilty for keeping Horo awake and wanting him to stay with him. He wasn't ready to let go yet but he couldn't force the Ainu to stay or to care. He had one shot and one shot only…

**Entranced by simple humanity  
****A new lesson to strip you of your vanity  
****New features poke through to the surface  
****Could it be you found your true place?**

"Horo?" Ren whispered while twiddling a piece of Horos t-shirt between his fingers

"Yeah Ren" looking down at the innocent looking Ren which was strange for the young Tao who was always so defensive and always a loner

"Please stay" Ren stopped twiddling and tightened his hand into a fist clutching to the t-shirt for dear life. Horo blinked to see if he was dreaming or not. He thought if this is a dream might as well go along with it. He smiled at Ren before giving his answer.

"Sure if you promise to go to sleep" Horo gave a wide and gentle smile as Ren looked up slightly

"Thank you" He whispered again very softly

Horo tried to stand but Ren didn't let go of Horos t-shirt keeping Horo in the same spot.

"You promised to go to sleep if I stayed" Horo said with a sigh, he thought it was cute the way Ren was acting but he knew Ren needed to get some sleep. Ren let go of the shirt but wrapped his arms around Horos waist instead; He gently lay down with Horo being pulled down with him. Ren curled up beside the bluenette and closed his eyes.

"You want me to sleep here with you?" Horo asked confused at the fact Ren was going to sleep still clinging to him

"…Yes…" Ren spoke out quietly before snuggling his head into Horos chest one last time. Horo smiled and wrapped around Ren gently. Ren opened his eyes and looked up at Horo who had closed his eyes ready to fall completely asleep. He was amazed Horo had agreed and cuddled up so close. Ren looked over the top of Horo and noticed the moon and the stars sparkling outside the window. The stars shone extra bright for him tonight but the northern star shone the brightest making him smile before snuggling to go to sleep.

**Stare at the stars for they are your guide  
****They never once hurt you or lied  
****Even though you had wronged  
****You'll find what you longed**

The stars shone there brightest as the two slumbered but the stars bright light couldn't defy the suns rise falling back letting the mornings sunrise turn the sky multicoloured reds, yellows and oranges. The day came in quickly and the birds rose to greet the sun with their singing. The light of the sun shone into the shadowy room spreading across the bed and the two on it. Ren slowly opened his eyes as the light broke past his eyelids. He blinked back the sleep braking free of the nights rest letting day brake in. Ren didn't bother to raise his head but immediately noticed the form under his head. He let memory of the night fill his thought but still tired didn't get into detail. He looked at Horo slumber in his usual way mouth wide-open faint with snores and eyes lightly shut blissfully dreaming away. Ren rubbed his cheek against the warm chest cuddling even closer feeling chilled. Horo must of woken and pulled a cover over them in the middle of the night because now Rens lower half and Horos were covered by the bed sheets. Ren yawned loudly feeling unusually calm. He was laid in bed with Horo and yet he wasn't panicked or felt awkward he just felt… soothed. The bright morning soon stirred Horo as he opened one eye slightly turning his head away from the sun shining into the room. When he turned he came face to face with Ren who stared back. Horo looked dazed not quite awake obviously. His mind mustn't have switched on yet because he was very confused.

"Hey Ren, what you doing in my bed?" Horo asked not really knowing where he was. Ren looked at him quizzically before sighing and beginning his answer to the ridiculous question

"Horo I'm not in your bed your in mine" Ren closed his eyes for a second shaking his head in disbelief. Horo blinked a few times looked over and to the rest of the room before looking at Ren again.

"Oh…" Horo yawned loudly and closed his eyes again resting for a few brief moments while Ren watched. Horo started to remember what happened that night and opened his eyes to examine Ren. He wanted to know if Ren was okay now. He lifted Rens chin up and assessed Rens face who looked back a little more than confused. Horo noticed the funny face Ren pulled when he did that and had to faintly laugh. Rens face a little darker at the laughing

"What you laughing at?" Ren asked dryly. Horo stopped his laughter but kept his large smile

"Just you look so different. You'd think someone finally pulled that stick out your ass" He laughed again but Ren looked a little less amused

"Comment like that again and I'll shove a stick up your ass" Ren threatened lackadaisically before resting his head back down to try ignore Horos grinning face. Horo looked again at Ren whose face looked soft his features relaxed and not forced into a placid expression with a sculpted frown. This face was not what you'd usually see on the great Tao Ren, you'd never think such a face existed in this being but there it was a content looking face rested against Horo gently.

"You look comfy" Horo teased slightly

"I am" Ren replied giving a faint smile at the jest

"What? You smiling? Gosh where's there a camera when you need one?" Horo again jested with the fact Ren was being so cuddly

"Your lucky I'm not a morning person or I might of got mad" Ren joked back vaguely

"Ren, boy of many faces" Horo named Ren thinking it was amazing that the person who had hit him and insulted him yesterday was the same person he held close right now. It was indeed strange to be this close but it felt right none the less. Ren shifted holding tighter around Horos waist opening his eyes and gazing over to the clock. Horo noticed him looking at the clock and decided to check out the time himself. It was early morn; Anna no doubt would be waking everyone soon starting with Yoh. Both thought about her reaction to them cuddling like this on the same bed but neither wanted to move. Horo thought about pointing it out but was too content in his position to care. He let out a sigh before curling up right into the side of Ren with his nose brushing across Rens cheek. Ren turned his nose nearly nudging at Horos, they were face to face but Horo had his eyes shut while Ren had his open gazing at the dopey look on the trying to fall back asleep Horo. Ren looked at Horo intently for a few moments before leaning forward and placing an airy light kiss on Horos lips and braking away as quickly as he had started. Horo felt the brief touch and opened his eyes. He looked at Ren with dreamy blue eyes.

**Loyal as a pup to your found friend  
The one who taught you and helped you mend  
New faces begin to gather  
Loneliness retreats farther and farther**

"Did you just kiss me?" Horo asked quietly with a slight smile on his face

"…Maybe…" Ren answered shyly not wanting to admit to anything that could be used against him later. Horo smiled extensively while Ren went shy and curled up a bit more to hide his cherry cheeks. Horo leaned forward and placed a ghost of a kiss on Ren lips smiling even more at Rens shocked reaction

"Did you just kiss me?" Ren asked timidly mimicking Horos earlier voice and question

"Hmm… Maybe" Horo said smirking and also mimicking Rens earlier tone and question. They fell silent for a few minutes before Horo leaned in again and this time did the deed properly closing his eyes and gently pressing his lips to Rens sweetly and securely. Ren didn't really know what to do he just let Horo kiss him lovingly liking the feeling. He didn't kiss back still a little lost to be able to completely give all his affections.

**Content in this security  
****Yet still you approach things with great maturity  
****Shy and held back  
****Care and love you do lack**

Horo broke away and laid his head back down next to Rens not smiling anymore just looking at ease with everything. Ren heard Yoh being woken harshly by Anna who was making her rounds like every morning waking everyone up with her screams shouts and orders. Ren didn't attempt to make a move and neither did Horo they just waited for her to burst through. Her stomps echoed and Horos door was opened before being slammed back shut, obviously Anna noticed it was empty. Her feet padded along to just outside the room with her hand on the doorknob turning it and pushing the door open rudely with out knocking first. She was about to make her usual commentary but saw both laid on the bed next to each other eyes shut looking like they were asleep happily. Anna closed her mouth and shut the door quietly with a stunned expression still stuck on her face. Ren opened his eyes looking at the door listening as she quietly plodded away. Yoh could be heard asking Anna where Ren and Horo were but Anna just shouted at her fiancée to do his work. Obviously the Itako was avoiding the subject probably not wanting to be the one to catch them like that. Ren heard the commotion dieing down and breathed in deep before exhaling with a slight sigh. Horo didn't open his eyes still.

"Is she gone?" Horo asked opening one eye slightly

"Yes" Ren plainly stated

"I should come sleep in here with you more often, I can have a good sleep in and Anna wont scream at me in the morning" Horo laughed quietly thinking of the bliss of waking up in the morning with out the help of Anna's left hand or shouting after all she was a tyrant.

"Don't push your luck" Ren said dryly turning over to face the ceiling

"A guy can dream cant he" Horo too turned to face the ceiling smiling like usual in a more care-free way

"In his own bed" Ren shot back at him with a smirk. Horo sat up and turned to face Ren with a grin, he leaned down and kissed Ren one last time before standing up and walking towards the door. He turned the handle opening the door slightly before turning back to Ren with a cheerful smile

"But remember my bed is your bed when ever you need it" with that Horo left the room closing the door behind him. Ren smiled and closed his eyes liking the thought he had an open invitation for whenever he wanted it. Ren wasn't sure whether to go any further but it didn't seem like the end of the world anymore. He built himself up again ready to face another day sitting up and getting ready to eat breakfast. Another day leads to another night and tonight wasn't looking to bad…

**Though you remain defensive  
****Your skill and bravery are incomprehensive  
****Your wounds can heal to leave only a scar  
****This is who you are...**

**Rock-On!**


	2. Hallucinations

Okay this was a poem about my own experiences with Hypnagogic Hallucinations but someone seemed to think it was about Ren so I turned it into a Ren poem enjoy

P.S. I know, I know Mama Ren sorry I'm working on it I swear

**Hallucinations **

Go away and let me be

Creatures that twist and bend

Clawing at my face with airy fingers

My soul needs this time to mend

Torsos with severed limbs

Crawl slithering to my bedside

Gargling blood and hellish hymns

Let me scream release my chest

Growling low screeching high

Whispers ranting screaming calling

Oh god my end is nigh

Tears can't fall and words can't form

Silent screams to be rid the shadowy images

Take away those ghostly figures stop the flashing in my eyes

Let me go and stop the torment stop the pillages

Not asleep! Not awake!

Slumber-less nightmares I can't face

Nudges and touches

Breezy tickly breathes windy lace

Cold finger tips stroke across my chest

Pressing hard against my motionless body

Fear itself visits me while I rest

Hellish rants fade away releasing its grip

Sobs and shakes ability to breathe

All movement comes back in each fingertip

Can toss and turn and break the spell

Nightmares I cant flee

Aware yet unable to have effect

Motionless with fear stricken eyes

Hidden in shadows waiting to return

Images so real yet all of them lies

Preying upon me as I try to dream

Hallucinations get the better of me

_Tao Ren_

The day passed by as normal with the average motions of day-to-day life in the Asakura household. The only exception of the day was when nightfall came and Ren wasn't sure which room to go to. He could go to sleep with Horo or go to his own bed. He wasn't keen on either idea really. He didn't want to rush anywhere with Horo but didn't want to sink back into that feeling of loneliness he came so accustomed to in his many years toil. Ren eventually ventured to his own room rather having the feeling of being alone than to think he depended on anyone else at all for some sense of security. Nights were always the same for Ren he loved all the properties of night from the stars that guided him to the soothing silence the serenity that night brought as many slumbered ready for the next day. He loved the glistening moonlight off the surfaces of everyday objects making them alive with pure white light. Every aspect of night entranced him… except sleep. Sleep was the curse in a miracle, the catch in this almost perfect set up. Sleep was a moment in time a person was at their weakest letting memories flood and nightmares roam wrecking their havoc and causing damage in the dead of night.

Ren sank into the sheets as always trying to just fade into a dreamless night, not wanting either sweet dreams or fierce nightmares for each haunted him in his waking hours. Dreams tormented him with the ever knowing end for dreams are not real and nightmares linger painful moments that keep you awake not wanting to face the thing you always feared. Inevitably we all must sleep and Ren was slowly dozing off when it began. He saw something out the corner of his eye something move and wander around the room. It was doused in shadows. Ren tried to move to see what it was but his body wouldn't register. That's when the panic settled in and the realisation it was happening again…

**Go away and let me be  
****Creatures that twist and bend  
****Clawing at my face with airy fingers  
****My soul needs this time to mend**

As he lay there unable to peer around to where he thought he saw something moving around he felt something touch his face like cold fingers only rough and straggly. Each time he felt the cold thin hands stroke over his face he wanted to reach up and stop the tingly cool fingers from stroking over his skin but his arms wouldn't move frozen in the same spot. His chest was the only thing moving as the panic began to grow with each sway of something dark lurking in the depths of his room.

Not long after he saw it, the thing crawling over his floor. It looked so real and firm yet it's appearance was like a shadow. This thing had almost human qualities except it had no arms or legs. It had a stub where its head should be and it dragged slithering and slowly working its way closer. The low growling began to ring in his ear almost as if a rabid dog was about to pounce from the darkest corner of Rens room to attack. The faint sounds of whispers where growing in volume in Rens ear, it almost sounded like these whispers where coming from right next to his head but he couldn't see anyone there and multiple voices rose. That's when the screechy scratchy noises of screams and agonising whales came getting louder and louder till Rens ears felt numb with pain. He wished he could cover his ears turn on a light and banish these demons back to where they belong but no matter how he tried he couldn't move an inch not even twitch. He couldn't command these things to go away his voice was lost along with all movement.

**Torsos with severed limbs  
****Crawl slithering to my bedside  
****Gargling blood and hellish hymns  
****Let me scream release my chest  
****Growling low screeching high  
****Whispers ranting screaming calling  
****Oh god my end is nigh**

Like bricks falling a weight laid itself upon Rens chest pushing down making breathing harder and harder. It was almost as if someone had laid on top of him pushing him down into his bed sheets. He gasped for air trying to struggle but still lying motionless under the weight of an invisible foe he could not budge. The torso got closer almost right next to his bed and people still screamed and whispered incoherently as a voice chanted words that made no sense just babbling and ranting getting angrier and lower in tone yet still booming in volume. It was scary to hear all these invisible enemies and not to understand why they were here or how they were here. These experiences got worse and worse yet he sensed no presence no spirit that would be doing this. He had checked and checked with each passing episode but not a single ghost was there to ensue this torment. Demonic beings still raced round the room playing tag with each other's shadowy form as they twisted into ugly things disturbing the helpless Tao. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't call out, maybe if he could muster up a shout or cry out they would vanish but his voice faded into the darkness and only the sounds of these transparent demons could be heard. He was lost to these hellish beings.

**Tears can't fall and words can't form  
****Silent screams to be rid the shadowy images  
****Take away those ghostly figures stop the flashing in my eyes  
****Let me go and stop the torment stop the pillages  
****Not asleep! Not awake!**

He wished to wake up he wished for this to be a horrible dream that any second he would wake up from but it never turned out that way because he isn't asleep yet he wasn't quite awake. This is a point in time where these things could torment him outside of the depths of nightmares. They could work their terrors upon him, as he lay in this state of paralysis weak and defenceless. No matter how hard he tried the painful cries wouldn't die down and the images wouldn't stop with ghostly faces flying and flashing in front of him with gashed open eyes empty sockets and cracked jaws leering and smiling with skeleton grins.

His breathing still suppressed under the weight of the invading foe he gasped for air he direly needed feeling suffocated in this feeling of panic and helplessness as he was crushed by the might of the enemy. Things jabbed at his sides, things he couldn't see and things with claws not hands but something completely inhuman. He could feel something dark and beastly. Pants and warm breaths were felt against his neck and ear like someone was behind him blowing on him with hot air. Fear rose in Ren as something explored over him with scratchy fingers that caressed the skin with cold dead claws for hands. Merciless monsters seemed to push and jab with airy hands inducing dread and fright reaching to grip the very soul of the young Tao.

**Slumber-less nightmares I can't face  
****Nudges and touches  
****Breezy tickly breathes windy lace  
****Cold finger tips stroke across my chest  
****Pressing hard against my motionless body  
****Fear itself visits me while I rest**

Ren tries again and again to move trying to scream and shout for someone anyone to help chase away the adversaries that tormented and disturbed his mind. He felt something at last give way, he felt his right hand was unaffected by the devils hands jerks and strokes. He tried until finally his right hand moved and the images faded and the sounds died down leaving the silence of night to again bring serenity to Rens chaotic night. Hands released their grips and the demons scurried away at the first sign of ability returning to him. Cowardly hellish beings retreated back into the shadows until they could return once again to distress and ravish on the soul of Ren.

He jerked his head trying to adjust his voice came back as he whimpered breathing in as the weight was lifted. He rose up slowly finding movement back in his limbs. He looked around the room making sure the creatures had gone back to the depths where they belong instead of desolating and causing devastation outside his nightmares in the time before sleep at the darkest hours of night. He pulled his knees up to his chest feeling like a scared victim of an unknown attacker. He needed desperately to find a way to chase away this feeling of being attacked and taken advantage of. He couldn't stay here where those monsters still hid waiting for him to let down his defences to sleep. He couldn't fight sleep all night but how could he sleep when the threat of the invisible attacker haunted him. Ren became anxious rocking back and forth trying to figure out what to do when suddenly it hit him

**Hellish rants fade away releasing its grip  
****Sobs and shakes ability to breathe  
****All movement comes back in each fingertip  
****Can toss and turn and break the spell  
****Nightmares I cant flee**

Horo had offered him a place when he needed it, would Horo keep up on that or was he only jesting when he said that. Ren couldn't give a dam at this point he had two options and staying in the grasp of those fiends and eerie visitors was not one he wanted to take. He rose from his bed opening his door quietly and closing it gently. He walked down the hall to Horos room. Ren froze at the door biting his lip leaning against the door with his hand on the door handle pausing for an instant. He thought about his options a few more times before making up his mind to go in.

He opened the door as softly as possible making sure not to make a sound as he entered holding his breath while doing so. He closed the door again not making any noise. He tiptoed over to Horo and slowly knelt on the bed next to Horo looking at him for a minute silently wondering if he should or should not stay. After pondering on it and remembering that feeling of helplessness asking Horo a favour didn't seem to compare to that horrifying experience. He shook Horos shoulder till he saw a set of blue eyes start to drift open. Ren watched the Ainu stir from his restful nights slumber anxiously wondering what he must think getting a visit from him at this hour. Horo looked up to see Ren sat there patiently, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't just seeing things before deciding yes Ren was sat on his bed.

"Hey Ren" Horo greeted Ren then yawned loudly before finishing "What's up?" After that the room fell into a deep awkward silence before Ren timidly answered

"I decided to take you up on that offer" Ren turned his head away to look at a very interesting pillow at the end of the bed not really because he found the pillow fascinating he just didn't want to look at Horo right now. The bluenette was not only stunned he was worried, even though it was dark and the only light was the night stars and the waxing moon set high in the sky but Rens skin was pale and still shinned with the cold sweet he had broke into while being tormented by the intruding indistinguishable evils. Ren still looked shaky from just regaining control of his body after the paralysis of his experience.

"Are you okay?" Horo asked not really expecting a truthful answer but didn't feel too bad about it after all Ren probably lied to himself about whether he was fine or not. If Ren couldn't admit to himself he couldn't admit to Horo.

"Fine" Ren said after a pause between the two shamans. Horo sensed the tension and also noticed Ren looked a little disgruntled and tired

"Well there's plenty of room so hop in" Horo said with a smile shifting over to the other side of the bed allowing room for Ren to climb in. Ren paused looking at the spot "I wont bite" Horo joked receiving an annoyed grumble from Ren before Ren climbed in and allowed Horo to snuggle up to him. He to cuddled in resting just under Horos head. He was content to go to sleep when Horo interrupted

"What? No good night kiss?" Horo said in a fake offended tone that was more mock than anything though he wouldn't of minded a kiss from Ren

"Shut up" Ren said half-heartedly with a little blush forming over his cheeks. Horo laughed lightly before resting his head down over Rens wrapping around Ren comfortingly before saying his good nights

"Good-night, sleep tight, don't let the beg bugs bite" Horo smiled drifting off to sleep with Ren returning his good-night with his own comment

"…Baka…"

They both fell asleep deeply with each other slumbering peacefully with a slight smile on each other's faces. Maybe Horo was the one to chase away the images and sounds… maybe Horo was the cure for the hallucinations…

**Aware yet unable to have effect  
Motionless with fear stricken eyes  
Hidden in shadows waiting to return  
Images so real yet all of them lies  
Preying upon me as I try to dream  
Hallucinations get the better of me**

_Read and Review_


	3. Night As Should Be

**Night As Should Be**

Moonlight defies the dark

Seeping over the world leaving its mark

As you lay your head to sleep

Nightmares and demons make you weep

Silent cries fall to deaf ears

As you battle against the tears

On the outside strong with pride

But he can see you on the inside

Not looking through but looking in

Chasing away evils deadly sin

Blue oceans sweep away the past

So you can rest at night at last

Night has become what it was meant to be

Where being able to sleep safe is a guarantee

The shadows can't rip you away

In this world your soul shall stay

Those things at the dead of night

Have lost the battle, lost the fight

As long as you know where you belong

The nights bliss will do you no wrong

Serenity seals each soul tight

Safe and sound hidden where there's no light

No light to let us see the pains of day

No tormenting visions to lead you astray

Darkness wraps around you with a cool embrace

Building you up for another day you must face

The stars will guide you when you become lost

For this kind of security there is no cost

These things are a test of our mortality

Now slumber with the rest of humanity

Lie down and let night work its wonders

Before daybreak can toss its work a sunders

Ren sleeping in Horos room became a nightly thing, as common as Anna barking orders or Yoh falling asleep standing while training. For a full week now Ren went into Horos room and slept with him knowing no harm would come of this arrangement. Horo got something out of it too much to Rens embarrassment as he had to give Horo a good-night kiss before going to sleep or the Ainu wouldn't allow Ren to fall asleep but cuddle, sing softly children's nursery rhymes and occasionally tickle Ren till he gave up. Ren still tried to get out of his nightly kiss being stubborn even though he liked giving that kiss every night. It was nothing more than a peck each time but Horo was happy with what he got. Ren lay down with Horo who snuggled in with his arms around Rens waist and chest against chest. Tonight was like the other nights with a few exceptions. Ren closed his eyes to try ignore when Horo asked for his goodnight kiss but when he didn't hear it he looked up at Horo who had his eyes closed with a faint hint of a smile on his face. Ren looked puzzled before sleepily asking what was up

"You're not going to nag about a goodnight kiss tonight then?" Ren asked trying to sound bored and uninterested

"Nope… unless you want to give me a kiss" Horo asked edging his face down inches away from Rens face as Ren blushed at the feel of his hot breathe tickling his cool skin. Ren just put his head back into Horos chest closing his eyes and trying to ignore Horo again. Horo stroked Rens hair thinking of the past week and a few memories he had hid from Ren not wanting to intrude or step in it like he was prone to doing especially in matters concerning Ren. Tonight though Horo felt like pushing it a little he noticed Ren warming up greatly so today was as good a time as any to pull the skeletons out the closet.

"Ren?" Horo asked hesitantly still playing with Rens hair.

"Hmm" Was the only response he got as a sign Ren was still awake but not entirely.

"I've been meaning to ask you about what happens to you at night" As Horo said that Ren tensed up looking up at Horo to glare maliciously baring his teeth as they grated together but more disturbingly the look of resentment to the question asked. Ren turned over facing the other way edging out of Horo arms and to an empty space on the bed. Horo sighed thinking something like this would happen but the damage was done now might as well carry on. Horo put his arm over Ren who lay on his side facing the other way still trying to avoid the subject. Horo cuddled into Rens back getting little resistance from the inflexible Tao. Horo tried again in his quest for answers.

**Moonlight defies the dark  
****Seeping over the world leaving its mark  
****As you lay your head to sleep  
****Nightmares and demons make you weep**

"Ren, I've heard you at night… What happens to you?" Horo said quietly

"Nothing!" Ren spat through gritted teeth curling up further

"It can't be nothing or you wouldn't try so hard not to scream" Horo stated plainly trying to make it sound like no big deal trying to make Ren feel its nothing to concern about

"What would you know?" Ren barked unkindly

"I don't that's why your going to tell me so I do" Horo tightened his grip on Ren who tried to shrug him off

"Get off me Horo, mind you own dam business" Ren fought a little harder to get Horos arm off him but didn't struggle too much or would of ended up falling out the bed. While Ren struggled Horo tired of this little spat and pulled Ren onto his back and climbed over him pining Ren to the bed using his weight resting on Rens lower half. Ren just froze in surprise as Horo mounted him. He had to blush at the position and the fact Horo leaned down close looking so calm as he gleamed in the white light from the midnight sky.

"Come on Ren you can tell me, I promise I won't tell" Horo said with a characteristic smile that gleamed as his face bathed in moonlight. Ren looked away crossing his arms sulking like a child, night time did things to Ren he never seemed the same during the darkest hours of day. Horo brought one hand under Rens chin turning Rens face gently to look back at him.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" Horo pleaded in a very soft cute tone you'd have to be crazy not to fall for. Ren just glared trying not to loose his cool because if he did it would only prove something was the matter but it was hard not to. Horo saw the Tao bubbling and he knew he was in the danger zone but still carried on naturally knowing it would be pointless going back now.

"I'll let you on, on a little secret" Horo leaned down whispering in Rens ears for affect "I listen to you every night through the walls. I hear you scurry around pacing and I know sometimes you don't go to sleep but what I don't know is why?" Horo hit a soft spot and an instant reaction was given. Ren batted him away wriggling trying to release himself from under Horo who stayed firm trying to hold down the arms that lashed at the covers trying to pull to get away. Horo managed to pin Rens arms to his chest. When he looked at Rens eyes again they were glossy with wet tears as he remembered all the helpless nights and how Horo had heard each time. It was like he had been unknowingly exposed to the enemy and now the enemy was going to infiltrate him taking over. Horo felt a little guilty now he didn't realise how bad it was. He thought sure a few nightmares but this is something far worse. Ren held onto the tears for dear life squinting his eyes to try make them look threatening and focused on glaring at the Ainu with furious outrage. Horo gave an apologetic look before lying down next to Ren releasing his grip on Rens arms wrapping around Ren shoulders instead. He pulled up close resting his head on Rens shoulder looking at Ren with a ghost of a smile.

**Silent cries fall to deaf ears  
****As you battle against the tears  
****On the outside strong with pride  
****But he can see you on the inside**

"I can't make you talk about it but I promise you'll feel like a million bucks when you do" Horo said in a more lively way than his other requests. Ren turned to face the ceiling again thinking deeply about it wondering how to tell someone you see things that aren't there, how you hear things that aren't real and smell things too repulsive to be believed. On occasion you could taste things that lingered for days no matter what you ate or what you drank this horrid taste would linger on the senses as if tainting everything you consume. How could you tell someone you hallucinated about things and had nightmares of a past you couldn't bare? Ren tried to keep cold and silent but he let off signs of being upset in his breathing as he found it harder to inhale and exhale steadily shaking slightly as each breath went in and out.

Horo shushed him like he did that night when he slept in Rens room holding Ren close becoming that guard over Ren once more. Horo felt bad he had made Ren shake with anger and shame.

**Not looking through but looking in  
****Chasing away evils deadly sin  
****Blue oceans sweep away the past  
****So you can rest at night at last**

"Ren its alright, I'm here if you need me" Horo tightened his grip as Ren began to grit his teeth loudly… "I'm sorry Ren… I didn't mean to… I just thought…" Horo was cut off by a quiet voice that shook

"I see things" Ren said not wanting to go into detail

"You… see things?" Horo didn't quite understand where this was leading

"Yes I see things!" Ren raising his voice "When I lay to sleep I see and hear things that aren't real, things that grab me and torment me and I cant move to stop them" Ren turned away feeling ashamed to be admitting he's helpless to a none existent foe

"Are you sure there isn't a spiteful spirit behind it?" Horo asked not knowing of how Ren has tried time and time again to pin this on some ghostly haunting

"Don't you think I thought of that? There are no spirits I've looked… Its all in my head, like a nightmare while your awake" Ren closed his eyes and again turned away from Horo before finishing "I'm crazy aren't I?"

"Yes but not because you see things" Horo said with a slight laugh before getting and elbow in his side stopping his little giggle in its tracks. Horo rubbed his side then cuddled into the back of Ren restfully

"Your crazy for thinking you couldn't tell me" Horo finished with a bit more seriousness in his tone "you can tell me anything" Horo said putting Rens shoulder to the bed so Ren looked up at him he could see he understood and didn't think any differently of him. Ren looked up into cleansing azure eyes that were warming especially in the white light the sky beamed down as the moon set high in the black abyss.

**Night has become what it was meant to be  
****Where being able to sleep safe is a guarantee  
****The shadows can't rip you away  
****In this world your soul shall stay**

Horo kept up his gentle smile to reassure Ren in his own way. He leaned down and gave a peck on Rens lips as a good night with every intention of just leaving Ren to sleep and forget. Ren on the other hand had a different agenda once he felt the warm touch he wrapped his arms around the Ainus neck kissing back softly experiencing a new sensation he didn't really feel before. Horo griped the bed sheets with one hand and the other hugged Ren tightly as they kissed. Ren broke away with Horo still an inch away looking dazed but a happy kind of dazed.

"Sooooo… How does it feel having a double life?" Horo asked with a broad smile.

"Double life?" Ren obviously didn't get what Horos random question was for

"Yeah, being Tao Ren the tight-ass by day and Tao Ren the kissy face by night. Must be tiring" Horo mocked receiving a jab from Ren but still managing to laugh quietly.

The blush didn't help Rens glare it made him look like a pouting child with rosy red glowing cheeks and a stern face with bottom lip slightly puckered out. Horo managed to stop his little laugh letting out an appeased sigh when done. Horo looked down at Rens face that had lost its playful tint of pink and now just looked agitated. Horo couldn't let Ren fall asleep with a grudge now could he?

"Aw I'm sorry, here let me make it all better" Horo said kissing Rens forehead softly lying back down and getting ready to fall asleep until he felt Rens prodding his chest with his index finger. He opened his eyes to see Ren looking down at him.

"What's up?" Horo asked as Ren stared down at him from his seating position

"You cant just keep me awake then go to sleep" Ren said in a blunt way

"Why not?" Horo asked clueless

"I'm too awake to go to sleep now" Ren said in an agitated tone

"Well… what can I do about it?" asked Horo

"I don't know, something! Its your fault anyway" Ren prodded hard in Horos side making him shoot up into a seating position as well to look at Ren while rubbing his side

**Those things at the dead of night  
****Have lost the battle, lost the fight  
****As long as you know where you belong  
****The nights bliss will do you no wrong**

Horo yawned and then sat back leaning on his arms trying to think of how he could tire Ren out… the night was young the clock had only just struck 12 and a midnight stroll couldn't harm anyone. Horo climbed over Ren and walked over to the other side of the room grabbing his jacket and a spare which he flung over to Ren who caught it but didn't understand why Horo had handed him a coat.

"Why do we need jackets?" Ren asked while Horo put his on

"Its cold outside so we'll need them" Horo answered plainly grabbing Rens arm and pulling him out the bed

"Why are we going outside?" Ren questioned on

"For a walk, just around the block" Horo said with a smile looking forward to a little one-on-one time with Ren apart from when they share a bed of course but Ren is usually more interested in sleep than quality time.

"Why do you want to go for a walk?" Ren asked putting Horo spare coat on then suddenly stopping and giving Horo a funny look "And why are we still in our pyjamas?" Ren asked looking over himself and then Horo who was wearing pyjama shorts and t-shirt while we wore an over shirt and baggy pyjama bottoms.

"Not as if anyone's going to notice this time of night" Horo replied with a smile finding amusement in the look on Rens face. Ren finished putting the coat on shaking his head in disbelief that Horo was actually taking him for a walk in the middle of the night in his pyjamas… The Ainu gets stranger by the minute. The tip toed downstairs making no noise so as not to wake the others. They put on their shoes and stepped out closing the door again with Ren grabbing a key, getting locked out in their pyjamas in the latest hours of night would be hard to explain to everyone in the morning. They left the Inn walking side by side down the path in complete silence as was the rest of the place as people slumbered in bed as darkness covered all.

**Serenity seals each soul tight  
****Safe and sound hidden where there's no light  
****No light to let us see the pains of day  
****No tormenting visions to lead you astray**

They walked not too far just around the block and around the small area surrounding the Inn Horo yawned every now and then stretching and feeling tired after a while he saw a bench and decided to have a sit down but it had been raining most the day and everything still dripped from the down pour. The bench was wet when he sat down but he didn't care the night was warmer than he thought so a little water wasn't going to bother him. Ren watched as the Ainu sat down but did not sit down knowing the bench was wet. Horo looked up at him then patted the spot next to him before having to wipe his hand on his jacket to dry it. Ren just shook his head and stood nearby.

"Why don't you have a sit down?" Horo asked while putting his hands behind his head slouching down into the bench sprawling out

"The bench is soaked that why?" Ren said as a matter-of-factly

"So?" said Horo sitting up a bit more to smile at Rens up tight attitude

"I'm not getting wet" Ren said in a more stern tone getting the opposite reaction he thought as Horo chortled sitting up from his sprawled out position, Ren braced himself for the stupid comment he knew was coming

"Well you could always sit on my lap" Horo said while tapping his knee to signal where Ren could seat himself. Ren just tutted turning away and walking on leaving the Ainu sat on the bench who reluctantly followed quickening his pace to catch up to Ren who started to head back for the Inn. Horo walked beside Ren looking up at the moon set high in the sky noticing that strangely tonight there was a big bright moon but no stars. Horo stopped dead examining the skies for any sign of the glistening stars. Ren noticed and stopped turning back to see what was keeping Horo. He noticed he was staring up into space so stood next to him staring up to see what he was looking at but saw nothing but an empty sky.

"What are you looking at?" Ren asked sharply

"There aren't any stars… that's strange don't you think?"

"Stars are guides, it looks like not a soul is lost tonight" Ren said and started to walk with the Ainu tailing him

"So does that mean you found your way?" Horo questioned happily as they turned and saw the Inn that was merely steps away

"Looks that way" Ren murmured

"Then you belong with me," Horo said twirling to stand in front of Ren who had his arms crossed halting directly in front of Horo

"How so?" Ren said vaguely interested in what Horo had to say

"Well… you're here with me" Horo took a step further towards Ren "and you're where you belong" Took another step forward towards Ren stopping directly in front of him "So you belong with me" Horo said with a smile wrapping his arms around Ren who didn't move an inch while Horo made his approach.

"Afraid not Ainu-Baka… You belong with me" Ren said leaning in and kissing Horo lightly before breaking away and walking back to the Inn with Horo smiling uncontrollably the entire time as he followed.

**Darkness wraps around you with a cool embrace  
****Building you up for another day you must face  
****The stars will guide you when you become lost  
****For this kind of security there is no cost**

They stepped in and took off their shoes and tiptoed back up stairs to Horo room. They removed the jackets they were wearing and Ren climbed into bed but Horo carried on stripping off his clothes, Ren noticed this and asked what he was doing

"What are you doing?" Ren asked as Horo took his t-shirt off

"Well my pyjama bottoms got wet didn't they so I'm taking them off" Horo said while also removing his pyjama bottoms

"Then why did you take your t-shirt off?" Ren asked curiously

"Its too warm for pyjamas anyway" Horo said with a smile as he headed over to the bed stark naked getting ready to climb in when Ren stopped him

"You're not getting in like THAT" Ren said blushing like mad but thankfully it was too dark to see as clouds covered the moon

"Why not?" Horo asked with a wicked grin but Ren couldn't notice it because as I said it was too dark to see clearly at that moment

"Because I said so" Ren snapped at him

"But my Pyjamas are wet" Horo said in a more whinny voice this time

"Put on a new pair" Ren said still holding Horo away from the bed

"I don't have another pair" Horo stated plainly working Rens arms away and sitting on the bed next to Ren

"Why the hell not?" Ren barked at him crossing his arms not budging from the subject or allowing Horo to slip under the covers naked

"Never needed another pair" Horo said with a shrug

"Then what do you do when those are dirty or in the wash?" Ren asked while pointing at said garments

"I sleep naked" Horo said with a smile

"Not with me you don't" Ren said in a commanding voice

"But it's my bed" Horo lifted the covers and slid under with Ren backing away till he was against the wall. "Don't be shy Ren I don't have anything you could catch"

"I didn't think you had but thanks for putting that thought in my mind" Ren said sarcastically allowing himself to edge down into a sleeping position. Horo cuddled up like normal and Ren hesitantly did the same but kicked some covers off after a while because it was warm in that room. Horo noticed this and smirked feeling like pushing his luck even more than he already had.

"If your warm just take your pyjamas off" Horo gave a little tug at Rens over shirt to signal him to remove it

"Don't be stupid" Ren said with a shaky voice feeling embarrassed at the Ainus comment

"Come on Ren don't be shy" Horo said while lifting up Rens over shirt but Ren tried to stop him by tugging it back down and scooting away until he couldn't go any further.

"No… Ho-HORO!" Ren gaining in volume as Horo climbed over the top of him pulling his shirt over his head removing the over shirt and looking at Ren with a mischievous grin. Ren just blushed trying to grab his over shirt but Horo held it high before throwing it on the floor on the other side of the room. Ren glared at Horo but Horo ignored this still giving a playful and mischievous smirk

"Now what say we get those off" Horo said while pulling at the pyjama bottoms but he was met with a set of very unpleased eyes and stopped in his tracks.

"If you even try I'll cut your head off" Ren hissed in a serious tone making Horo stop his approach and lean down to kiss Ren softly on the lips to lighten the mood before taking his place back down laying beside Ren

"You got to learn to loosen up Ren" Horo pulled Ren to him so they were chest to chest. Ren could feel Horos bare skin against his and it felt… different but a nice kind. Ren just shook his head slightly clearing his head before burrowing down into Horos arms feeling content as per usual. He fell asleep with a grin as for once in a long while he had pleasant dreams.

**These things are a test of our mortality  
Now slumber with the rest of humanity  
Lie down and let night work its wonder  
Before daybreak can toss its work a sunders**


	4. From Above

**From Above**

Hold me close and squeeze me tight

You know this feelings right

Let me get you close

Eye to eye and nose to nose

Don't fight me please

Come on now don't be a tease

I promise now everything will be fine

I want you to be mine

The tender touch of your sweet embrace

Every flawless feature on your face

Every inch of you is perfect

Not a single flaw not a single defect

As I feel you so close to me

This is a feeling you should not flee

Allow me entry to your heart

This is a new beginning and a fresh start

Lips so soft and skin so fair

Could you blame me when I'd sit there and stare

I want to explore over you frail form

Your cheeks glow and you body is warm

Every touch is a blessing from up high

I promise I love you and its no lie

The things you never wanted people to see

Have entranced and wont let me be

I accept you for who you are

Every memory and every scar

The more I see the more I want

I swear I wont tease or taunt

As you lay by my side

Know that you don't need to hide

I'll be loyal to you my love

You are my divine from above

Some of the gang were on the move trying to reach a far city down south but thanks to some unforeseen weather all the trains and buses were stopped so now they were stuck. They searched for somewhere to stay but found only a large hotel that didn't look as if it would just let anyone walk in and get a room. Ren however was confident he could get some rooms. Ren left them by the doors while he arranged something with the man behind the desk. After about 10 minutes Ren returned with some good news and bad news. The good news was they had a place to stay the bad news is there weren't to many rooms. Pirika, Tamao and Anna were stuck in a room with 3 single beds and no bathroom and Yoh, Ryu, Lyserg, Chocolove and Manta were stuck in a room with 2 double beds and a child's bed (most likely to be Mantas size) lucky them while Horo and Ren graciously took the one single room that had one bed. Their rooms were also scattered across the hotel with the girls in the west wing, Yoh and the others in the main and Ren and Horo being down at the east chambers. They were given their room keys and passes then they went their separate ways for the night. It was really too early to be calling it a night but they thought maybe they could find something to do in their rooms.

Yoh and the others had no trouble keeping entertained as they had a playstation and a 42" wide screen TV. The girls were situated next to the swimming pool and spa so they were set with Pirika dragging Tamao round the entire place getting massages and stuff while Anna went off by herself to be pampered. Horo and Ren however were in a pretty plain room with a TV, couch, bathroom with a shower and a double bed. It was a very small room and was one of many in that section. This wing was reserved for a reunion but it was cancelled last minute. The rooms around them were empty for the most part except for the odd person who didn't get the message the reunion was cancelled. Horo being who he is got bored with in the hour with nothing to do and nowhere really to go. Ren had his book but Horo had nothing, Horo decided to see what Ren was reading as a last attempt to amuse himself but found it much more than that after finding out what was going on in this book of Rens.

Horo sneaked around the back of the sofa where Ren was sat happily reading his book and eating and apple. The book he was reading was called "From above" and was one of those poetic types of books. Ren didn't usual find himself interested in romance and nonsense like that but this one was different. (Okay this story and book is completely made up… by me ) It was to a scene where the two main characters were sharing a kiss and Horo began to read about there getting an evil grin knowing Ren didn't know he was reading. Then after the kiss the two took it further taking each other's clothes off. Horo read and couldn't help let out a giggle which was a mistake because Ren heard and spun around holding his book to his chest only to see Horo on the floor covering his mouth over to stop his laughing. Ren knew what he was doing and started to blush badly but tried to look fierce and threatening. Horo finally gave up and let himself burst out laughing at the embarrassed Tao who by now was bubbling over with anger. Horos laughter died down and suddenly he got a new idea for something to do

"Hey Ren what you reading?" Horo said with a faint laugh

"N-nothing" Ren turned back and put the book down on his lap eating his apple peering at Horo though the corner of his eye who had stood up and now went around to sit beside Ren.

"Cant be nothing, let me see" Horo said trying to get the book from Ren who struggled to keep the book in his possession failing as Horo ran off with it looking through the pages to find that page Ren was reading. Ren of course went in pursuit of the Ainu trying to get the book back before Horo could read anymore-intimate things in that book. Horo managed to avoid Ren long enough to get to the page and started to read it aloud-dodging Rens hands while doing so

"He pinned him to wall as he felt hot and passionate, he softly kissed his angels rose petal lips" As Horo read aloud Ren tried to make a grab for the book only to be shot back and pinned to the wall and kissed tenderly for a brief moment.

"Interesting book wonder what else happens" Horo said as Ren blushed, Horo cleared out his throat and started again only a bit further down "He grew more lustful for his prince and allowed him to gently lace their fingers and enter working his wonders with his tongue" Horo grabbed Rens hand entwined their fingers before passionately kissing Ren asking for entry to his mouth by licking on Rens bottom lip. Eventually Ren gave in letting Horo in and play around with his tongue. Horo broke away slowly with a flustered Ren staring at him dazedly. Horo still with his hand laced together with Rens pulled Ren towards the bed for the next scene in the book.

**Hold me close and squeeze me tight  
****You know this feelings right  
****Let me get you close  
****Eye to eye and nose to nose**

Once Horo had Ren by the bed he began to read again with a speechless Ren gazing on wide-eyed

"His angel looked good enough to eat so gentle and fair he wanted to kiss every bit and make every part he touched with his lips his" Horo pushed Ren to the bed and straddled him kissing him again on the lips then the cheek trailing down but Ren caught him and brought his head back up trying to figure out what Horos plan was

"What are you doing?" Ren asked sternly yet still had that bemused look on his face

"Well I thought you liked reading the book so much you wouldn't mind acting some of it out" Horo said with a cheeky grin then carried on his kisses trailing down Rens neck

"Horo I-ah" Ren was cut off from what he was about to say as Horo nipped with his teeth but Ren soon found his voice again "What was that for?" Ren said shakily still feeling overwhelmed by Horos approaches.

"What? You mean this" Horo nipped Ren again with his teeth getting a soft moan that was stopped abruptly by Rens pride but his pride didn't manage to take away the red tint to his cheeks. Horo thought this was a lot more fun than anything the other guys would be doing. Horo carried on till he came to the rim of Rens t-shirt because the material was in the way. Horo came back up to look Ren in the eye with a hintful smile.

"Well angel what do you think we will be doing next" As Horo said that Rens face went bright red because he knew the next part in the book "The prince worked over his angel with gentle hands making his love purr and meow with gratitude" Horo laughed at this part "Well Ren do you think you could meow for me?"

"N-no" Ren said timidly blushing still brightly. Horo could tell the lack of sternness meant he was thinking about it really he just needed a little encouragement. Horo smiled as he slid one hand up Rens shirt and stroked the pale skin just like the prince in the book did to make his angel meow.

"Come on Ren it's easy watch" Horo took in a deep breath "Meow" Horo gave a realistic meow and even a purr on the end making Ren blush deeper shades of red if that was possible. Ren couldn't muster up words as Horo worked his hands over him gently making him shake a little with every touch of his fingertips. Horo made more encouraging purrs. Horo took his hands to Rens back holding Ren really close

"Meow" Ren said very dryly and unrealistically, this only made Horo smile more knowing how smitten Ren was.

"Come on tiger eyes you can do better than that" Horo said in a sensual way to give Ren that little boost to get him to meow like a real cat

"Meow" Ren did a very realistic cat meow that was so very cute it made Horo laugh and Ren scowl at the fact the Ainu was laughing at him

"Very good I think I like this book" Horo said looking for something else "The princes angel wanted to feel the warm flesh and taste its sweetness removing his lovers shirt with ease and care" Horo gave a satisfied smile which Ren shared as this time he had a little more control. Ren lifted his hands to the brim of Horos t-shirt and slid it up slowly revealing Horos bare skin inch by inch. Ren worked it over Horos head and let it drop to the corner of the bed. Horo liked to see Ren playing along and thought he should find a more teasing part. He flipped the page over and skimmed down finding a particularly playful part.

"He slowly planted steamy kisses up his lovers stomach lifting the garment he wore up further and further until a trail of hot marks lead their way up" Horo put the book down still open but face down. He gently kissed Ren laying him on his back then wriggling down till his head was level with Rens stomach, he lifted up Rens shirt kissing just under the belly button then moving the shirt further up and kissing just above then another just above that. The shirt carried on its voyage up north and Horo reached Rens chest but decided airy kisses weren't enough for his angel. Horo pressed hard with his lips sucking on the pale skin getting an immediate reaction as Ren tensed and gripped the bed sheets with a bemused look stuck on his face. Horo liked the reaction so placed another one of these wet hot kisses just a bit higher making it longer this time. Ren let out an unsteady breath as his body quivered. He both wanted this and didn't want it. He was confused at how he could enjoy this so much yet he couldn't relax into it.

**Don't fight me please  
Come on now don't be a tease  
I promise now everything will be fine  
I want you to be mine**

"Ag-Horo!" Ren glared down at Horo who had just nipped Ren again suddenly breaking Ren from his thoughts and making him let out noises, Horo looked up with a cute smile on his face so Ren didn't keep his glare for long. Horo worked Rens shirt up and over his head with Ren allowing him. Horo began doing lots of airy little kisses up Rens neck till he reached his lips and gave a long firm kiss before sitting back and letting Ren sit up again but when Ren looked down he didn't like what he saw. He saw 2 small bruises and 2 much larger ones. Horo had managed in that short time to give Ren 4 distinguished love bites. Ren looked up at Horo before punching his arm quite hard.

"What the hell did you do?" Ren asked angrily while Horo rubbed his arm

"What's it look like" Horo gave as a sly reply

"Gave me hickeys" Ren spat blushing at the fact Horo gave him them

"Oh well then I guess I gave you 4 hickeys" Horo said proudly with Ren looking quite peeved right now. Horo picked up the book again and looked for more fun things in the book "Their eyes met and their bodies got close as heat raised deep within, his angel parted his lips and said aloud…" Horo stopped and read the words not feeling they fit him to well so he decided to change them. He smiled broadly before saying "Horo is a sex god and drives me wild" Horo laughed at his comment receiving a lopsided smile from Ren. Ren knew the actual words in the book so decided to ignore what Horo had said and say the right words to spite though he didn't quite think about what it entailed

"Your beautiful" Ren said with a smile sending Horo a back.

"Ren how many times have you read this book?" Horo asked with a little bit of a taunting tone

"N-none of your business" Ren blushed again

"So, you think I'm beautiful" Horo said in a sing song voice making Ren blush further

"Its what it says in the book baka" Ren tried to sound more firm but still sounded quite mystified.

"Well I think you're beautiful," Horo said softly to Ren making Ren cough on the words in surprise and Horo laugh at this lightly. Ren was going to say something but got stopped by a set of lips that placed themselves over his making them tingle with a numb warm feeling. Horo pulled back still smiling faintly as always ready to carry on with his little game of role-play  
**  
The tender touch of your sweet embrace  
****Every flawless feature on your face  
****Every inch of you is perfect  
****Not a single flaw not a single defect**

Horo lifted the book and started to read though the book again "Swift hands worked off the satin pants" Horo smirked at this and looked Ren dead in the eye before leaning over kissing Ren and working off the belt. It suddenly hit Ren where this was heading but he wasn't sure yet, could he go that far and when it came down to it Horo was being the dominant here… would he… Ren got very nervous very quick. He felt Horos hands slowly relieve him of his belt and then was about to begin taking off his trousers when Rens hands caught his. Horo broke away to look at Ren to see if he was sure and Ren didn't look to sure. Horo gave him a reassuring smile and rested his hands on Rens waist where Ren felt more comfortable. Horo didn't want to rush Ren into anything because even though this might sound far fetched to Ren Horo does love him enough to wait forever if he had to.

"Ren are you okay?" Horo asked calmly stroking Rens cheek

"Y-yes… why?" Ren said nervously still being a little tongue-tied not really being sure which way to go. He wanted it but he didn't know what to do, he was stuck between his heart and his head again. Horos reassuring smile made him relax but he wasn't sure about let's say kicking it up a notch with Horo.

"If you don't want to play anymore you don't have to" Horo said staying still and keeping his reassuring smile to sooth Rens anxiety till it was almost gone. Ren still wanted to play just he had boundaries

"Oh I still want to play but it doesn't mean your getting into my pants Horo-Horo" Ren said sternly holding his trousers up

"Hey I let you into my bed so why can't you let me into your pants?" Horo said in a taunting way seeing through Rens little attempt to show he was not doubting whether or not he wanted to.

"That's different" Ren said staying firm as the Ainu made tiny tugs at Rens trousers in jest not actually trying to get them down

"How is it different?" Horo asked coyly knowing Ren didn't have solid reason

"…Because… Because I said it is?" Ren pouted and Horo leaned in trying to distract Rens attentions with a few kisses but it didn't seem to work. The Ainu saw Ren had been thinking really hard on this so decided to reassure he wouldn't take things much further without Rens go ahead

"I love you, I would never rush you I swear" Horo said with a smile but Ren froze stiff looking shocked at the words that came out the bluenettes mouth. He had to make sure he heard right

"What did you say?" Ren asked leaning in close to Horo looking serious

**As I feel you so close to me  
****This is a feeling you should not flee  
****Allow me entry to your heart  
****This is a new beginning and a fresh start**

"I would never rush you…" Horo was cut off by Rens firm voice

"No! Before that" Ren looked deep into Horos eyes that didn't seem to catch on to what Rens shock was for

"I love you…" Horo was going to repeat the entire thing again but again was cut off

"Say that again" Ren said still in shock

"I love… you" Horo caught on now and smiled sweetly before putting on a more serious face "I love you Ren" Ren never heard anyone say that to him before, it was new for certain. Not his mother, his sister and especially not his father had even said they loved him and now here Horo was saying the three words openly to him. Ren Kissed Horo hard before breaking away with a smirk

"I still cant hear you Horokue Usui, you'll have to speak up" Ren said in a furtive voice just wanting to hear Horo say it over and over. Horo didn't think Ren would like hearing that phrase but Ren really seemed to want to hear it.

"I love you" Horo said a bit louder with a huge smile. Ren pushed Horo down on his back and laid on top with an ever increasing in size smirk still planted on his face

"I think you need to say it one more time" Ren said quietly kissing Horos neck, Horo leaned down to whisper in Rens ear

"I… love... you" Horo said pointing at Rens heart while doing so. Ren picked up the book looked at it then flung it on the floor

"I think we can use our imaginations to make up an ending" Ren said fiddling with Horos fly zip. Horo got thoughts to say the least and for once Ren made him blush which Ren liked very much. Ren leaned down and kissed his Ainu while pulling down the zip and undoing the button to Horos pants. Horo decided the words I love you were sort of an aphrodisiac for Ren

"Hahum but it doesn't mean your getting into my pants Tao Ren" Horo said in a mock tone as Ren tried to slide down Horos pants

"Yes it does, now let angel work" Ren said commandingly working the garment down and off. Ren then worked on taking Horos boxers off the same way until the only thing left on Horo was his headband. Horo worked Ren over sitting over Ren who had a tint to his face he tried to hide but inevitably it still caught the Ainus attention. Horo began to work down Rens pants only to find Ren wasn't wearing anything underneath

"Ren? do you go commando?" Horo said with a grin

"And what if I do?" Ren said narrowing his eyes slightly daring Horo to say anything if he thought he would get any after

"No reason" Horo said deciding not to push his luck this time or he may end up striking out. Horo worked Rens pants down and off discarding them with the rest before climbing under the sheets with Ren, Horo caused a bit of friction laying some of his weight on top of Ren and moving slightly. Rens jaw dropped when he realised the hard member between his legs was Horos and he could feel his own grind against Horo.

**Lips so soft and skin so fair  
****Could you blame me when I'd sit there and stare  
****I want to explore over you frail form  
****Your cheeks glow and you body is warm**

Horo kissed Ren still moving keeping in Ren moans as he covered Rens mouth with his own closing his eyes and letting the feeling last. Horo parted Rens legs still distracting Ren with soft kissing. Ren had by now lost all logical thinking not even noticing his position. Horo pressed on Rens opening with one finger getting an instant reaction from Ren who pulled him self up and away at feeling the pressure. Horo smiled at him reassuringly trying again putting a little pressure on the opening, he slid in a finger at a time stretching out the opening in preparation for something larger. Ren felt the fingers moving and winced at the feeling of being stretched out. Horo finished removing his fingers one at a time and Ren felt relaxed again until he felt the pressure of something bigger pressing inside. His mouth opened in shock at the feeling before slamming it shut biting his tongue and closing his eyes at the painful entry.

Ren felt it edge its way in slowly obviously Horo was trying to be as gentle as possible with him. No matter how gentle Horo was being it still hurt like hell

"Dam it Horo, do you have any idea how much that hurts" Ren opened one eye and held back most the pain but still it was apparent on his face

"I'm sorry, it will be better soon I promise" Horo said reassuringly kissing Ren getting no response as Ren still gritted his teeth together. Horo saw the pain subsiding as Ren no longer squeezed his sides with his legs as much deciding now was as good a time as any to start things moving. He slowly moved in and out with Ren tensing up again but not half as bad as when he first went in. The pace only increased from there with Ren still feeling pain but now it mixed in with some kind of pleasure. He demanded Horo to go faster knowing he would obey his every whim. Horo did go faster and harder with every command Ren being vocal now, Ren wasn't being shy now he let everything out in moans cries and commands. Each grinded and thrust till they found release together. They laid down side-by-side getting their breath back gripping onto to each other's hand with laced fingers. After Horo got his breath back he rolled onto his stomach and kissed Rens forehead kindly.

**Every touch is a blessing from up high  
I promise I love you and its no lie  
The things you never wanted people to see  
Have entranced and wont let me be**

"I guess you aren't shy after all" Horo said with a grin, Ren just went a little pink realising how loud he was and wondering if anyone else would of heard him. Horo being Horo as usual thought about pushing it once more.

"My angel sure is loud isn't he? To think last week you wouldn't even be naked in the same bed with me" Horo said in a harmless taunt

"Since when am I _your_ angel?" Ren asked rolling onto his side to get close to Horo "Last time I checked I didn't belong to anyone" Ren said proudly working himself up to Horo pressing his body against his making Horo laugh at his lovers attitude. He noticed something just then, something Ren may not want to admit but inevitably was kind of true.

"Hey, I just noticed something" Horo said wrapping his arms around Ren who laid in his embrace restfully "When it comes down to it your always bossing me about and getting the better of me but… when it comes down to bed I'm in charge" Horo said with a smirk as Ren lifted his head to look at him disapprovingly

"I don't think so Horokeu Usui" Ren said trying to sound large and in charge but Horo soon wiped that look and tone from Ren. Horo mounted over Ren smiling suggestively and leaning down to whisper in the ear of a bashful Ren.

"We'll just see about it wont we" Horo leant back kissing Ren neck and working his wonders on Ren once more. Ren didn't resist knowing in the end he would give, he didn't like it but Horo was right in what he said, in bed Horo always got the better of him…

Morning-

Ren woke up slowly feeling achy and sore. He raised his head up from its place on Horos chest as Ren began to rise from Horos embrace. He felt really sore all over but especially down below the waistline. He recalled the previous nights events turning to Horo who slept still quite peacefully as a mater of fact. Ren slowly let his head fill with all the little details of their eventful night. He remembered Horo flirting and being his usual self-trying to push his luck at every turn. Ren smiled remembering Horos playful purring trying to make him meow. Ren leant over Horo just trying to remember every touch and glance Horo sent his way. Ren saw two cerulean eyes flutter open looking up at him as Horo woke up. It didn't take Horo long to work on a smile at the sight of Ren leaning over him as he woke up, Horo let his eyes wander over the bare chest then further down seeing the bottom half was bare too. Horos smile only widened at the knowledge of a naked Ren leaning over him. Ren smiled along with his kiobito. Horo sat up kissing Ren quickly as a good-morning. Horo looked over to the clock seeing that they didn't have long before they were to meet Yoh and the others in the lobby to leave. Horo would have given Ren a proper good-morning but time was short so now they had to quickly get a shower and get dressed.

"Usually I wouldn't rush you out of bed but we better shower before we go down to meet the guys" Horo said looking over himself and Ren

"I see what you mean, I'll let you shower first…" Ren was cut off as Horo put his finger over Rens lips to stop him right there before planting a quick kiss

"I don't mind sharing a shower, besides we did more intimate things last night than shower" Horo said modestly making Ren blush badly "Your so cute when you blush you know that?" Horo said climbing out of bed with Ren following

Later after they showered-

Ren and Horo showered together but it took a little longer than expected with Horo being a little more than friendly at times with Ren. Eventually they got out and dressed with Ren trying to find a high neck t-shirt. Horo over the course of the night had managed to put a few extra hickeys on Rens neck higher up than the ones on his front. Ren wasn't too pleased about them or the fact he could hardly walk. He couldn't help but limp, which he knew, would attract attention from the rest. Horo on the other hand was unfazed with no hickeys or much soreness. He felt drained and was noticeably less hyper active but other than that he got off easy compared to poor Ren. Ren had gotten dressed and was practically ready, Horo was done a while ago he didn't need to find garments to cover up hickeys or anything that was comfy due to having a very sore behind. Horo watched Ren fuss again still very tense needing to loosen up so Horo took action trying to sooth his kiobito. Horo grabbed Rens waist from behind embracing him sweetly but was met with force being pushed away, he wasn't sure what had gone wrong when until he saw Ren rubbing his backside. He had completely forgotten about that.

"A little sore are we?" Horo asked out of half genuine concern and half out of his own amusement.

"A little is an understatement, I can hardly walk thanks to you!" Ren shot at him a very unhappy look.

"But you enjoyed it" Horo edged over to Ren this time embracing him from the front "I could tell you enjoyed it very much with how loud you were" Horo teased while Ren went pink and flushed. He tried to keep it down but in the end he was still loud and very vocal. Ren looked over to the clock pushing the blush back and putting on a serious face

"We're late grab your stuff and come on" Ren said with much authority "We aren't in bed anymore" this added statement made Horo beam away knowing there was ad least one place he was dominant.

**I accept you for who you are  
****Every memory and every scar  
****The more I see the more I want  
****I swear I wont tease or taunt**

Down in the Lobby-

Everyone was waiting the only 2 people left to come were Horo and Ren. Anna was less than pleased and would of commented until she saw them walking up or ad least Horo did Ren limped. Horo was smiling and Ren was frowning knowing that they were all staring at him because of his gimp. Anna was the first to break the ice

"You're late!" She said plainly waiting for an excuse and an apology which Ren wouldn't give as she darn well knew

"Sorry about that we slept in a little" Horo quickly apologised for both

"Hey Ren are you okay you got a hell of a limp?" Yoh being the first to ask Ren about his limp

"None of your business" Ren snapped at the curious teen

"Don't mind him he over did it" Horo said while patting Ren on the back getting an instant reaction soon realising he had caused Ren pain by the dirty look he got

"Gees Ren lighten up, what got stuck up your ass?" Chocolove said but he would soon regret that

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Ren screamed in offence. Horo having a large mouth and loose tongue soon took Rens fury off Chocolove and onto himself

"I don't think he meant it literally angel" Horo soon realised what he said when the entire group turned to look at him oddly and Ren turned to him with a furious look in his eye

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Ren shouted blushing badly knowing that was his little nickname from last nights role-play

"Nothing" Horo said backing away ready to run for it. Ren soon pounced forward after Horo then beginning a pursuit as fast as he could, usually he would be able to catch up with Horo but his limp didn't help

"WAIT TILL I GET A HOLD OF YOU, YOU LOUD MOUTH AINU!" Ren screamed while chasing Horo who still didn't know when to quit

"Stop! Your prince commands it!" This only made Ren angrier and blush even more.

"Get back here so angel can pummel you!" Ren said while almost catching Horo but being just a little too slow to grab him

"Do you think something's going on between them?" Manta quietly asked Yoh

"Hmmm… Nah" Was Yohs response along with a faint laugh as he watched the spectacle

Luckily Anna tired of watching this and the two were stopped then separated for now. Yet another night will come with the two blissfully sleeping with each other with out the worries of the world to bother them. Night was their time to be together now and always…

**As you lay by my side  
****Know that you don't need to hide  
****I'll be loyal to you my love  
****You are my divine from above**

**_Anyone notice a pattern here? … All these poems involve them in bed…_**

**_Rock-On!_**


	5. Natures Guardian

**Natures Guardian**

Wind does blow

Water does flow

Just as the Ainu breaths

The tree in autumn drops its leaves

Natures beauties destroyed by mans greed

Humanity takes more than it need

Valiant efforts to save natures grace

One of the few in the Ainu race

The selfish ways of human kind

Simple things like trees become harder to find

Wiping the life bringers from the earth

We need to take time for the planet to heal and rebirth

One understands our ways are wrong

The blue haired boy knew all along

Fighting to bring back what man has taken

His true powers have yet to awaken

His control over ice shows his connection to nature

Glistening eyes of joyful azure

Smiles wide with hopeful eyes

Broke away from modern ties

Simple living for the one who is child-like

His journey to the top is quite the hike

No matter his confidence grows

Like the wheat harvested in the meadows

Untamed and wild

Every aspect of this being is a child

Mind so open and heart so pure

People like him are fewer and fewer

Tender touch and breezy attitude

His quest defies the multitude

Nor man nor beast stands in his way

The boy called Horo as we all say

Blissfully continues to do his best

Taking on his mission with cheer and zest

His heart has lead him this far

He shines as bright as the northern star

Voice so calm and steady

His mind set and weapon ready

Even though he's young at heart

He's ready to fight on nature's part

Let this unadulterated soul dream

Under the delights of a moon beam

He seems dim with lack of control

But when it comes to nature he knows more than any soul…

_Horokeu Usui_

Ren and Horo sat on the tallest hill near the big city. They went for a walk and it had got dark quickly. Snow was predicted but none had fallen yet. There was a slight breeze tugging at their hair as they sat looking down at the twinkling lights of the city, as still the streets were full of hustle and bustle. Horo sat and looked up to where he thought the real heavenly lights were but too much light pollution made the stars fade so they were barely visible. That's what man did, cover the world's true nature suffocating all the goodness out of the soil and leaving the corpse to rot. Leaves rustled in the back ground from the autumn weather as now all trees stood bare just like the forests of trees once lumberjacks steal more than they need with out giving a single thing back in return for their profit.

**Wind does blow  
****Water does flow  
****Just as the Ainu breaths  
****The tree in autumn drops its leaves**

Ren: Horo, are you okay?

Horo: Hmm? Yeah sure, why you ask?

Ren: You look like someone's just slapped you in the face

Horo: Just thinking

Ren: What were you thinking of?

Horo: The city… Home

Ren: You miss it there?

Horo: Sometimes but it's mainly nature I miss

Ren: Isn't nature all around

Horo: Not anymore

An awkward silence settled over as Horo looked back at all the factories and shops traffic and people. They all seemed to value the concrete and grit over the earth and grass; they preferred the smoke and chocking poisons to the air and fresh clean breeze. Everything beautiful about this world… disappearing from sight and consumed by humanities greed. From way back he was told of who he was what he was. He was Ainu proud and strong but few actually even knew what an Ainu really was, they tried to learn the language and tried to learn the history but when it came down to it they never once thought about the beliefs. Horos eyes saddened thinking he was dieing along with his race, fewer existed and no one knew the sacrifice his people made to survive. They gave up a lot because of the Japanese passing laws forbidding them to even be what they were freely. War and prejudice that still happens. Travelling he found out a lot of teenagers were taught to hate what he was, dirty tree hugging Ainu nothing more. Before he came to this town he had a run in with some unpleasant 17 year old boys he barely got away from, he was sure they were going to try kill him for being Ainu

Flashback-

Botan: Look what we have here boys

Jiro: A dirty little Ainu trying to sell his trinkets

Raidon: Look at those ridiculous things (He stomped on a few of them)

Horo: Hey! (Took his stuff and wrapped it back up into his blanket packing them up to move on)

Botan: Look he's not only a scum Ainu he's a cowardly Ainu

Horo: Watch it!

Jiro: Or what?

Horo: I'll knock your block off!

Jiro: Like mud crawling scum like you could do anything

Botan: I think we should rid the planet of one more tree hugging looser don't you?

Raidon: Definitely

Horo: The Ainu aren't the ones destroying the planet it's people like you!

Raidon: Sure it is, we are all to blame and you preachy Ainus aren't

Horo: Hell no!

Botan: I say different

Jiro: No one will miss him so I say we take care of him

Raidon: (Threw a punch at Horo just missing then giving and upper cut straight into Horos stomach knocking the wind out of him and bringing him to his knees) Look at the dirty little Ainu at my knees already

Jiro: (Laughed hysterically and kicked Horo in his side then leaned on his friends shoulder) Look at the weakling he deserves to be wiped out

End of Flashback-

**Natures beauties destroyed by mans greed  
****Humanity takes more than it need  
****Valiant efforts to save natures grace  
****One of the few in the Ainu race**

Ren who saw the look on Horos face and saw him tightening his fists till his knuckles were white brought Horo out of his memory. Horo looked at Ren who tried not let on worry

Ren: Are you sure your thinking about home?

Horo: Well… I was just remembering something that happened a long time ago

Ren: What was it?

Horo: A run in with some older boys (Laughed a little) they were convinced I should be dead and really wanted me gone. They hated me for no real reason

Ren: (Crossed his arms and looked at Horo blankly) They can't have hated you for nothing

Horo: (Looked down at the ground) They had a reason

Ren: What reason?

Horo: … I'm Ainu…

**The selfish ways of human kind  
****Simple things like trees become harder to find  
****Wiping the life bringers from the earth  
****We need to take time for the planet to heal and rebirth**

Ren stared at him blankly as he purposely averted gaze then looked back at Ren who sat quiet afraid if he said anything else he would offend or something. Ren knew these matters were best left alone unless the person wanted to say it. Ren being private would expect it from Horo so he should show the same thing. Horo could see Ren felt uncomfortable asking about it so Horo being the open care free person he was just decided to tell Ren what happened to sort of ease the tension.

Horo: It's okay I don't mind telling you about it. It's just one of those things they didn't like me because I'm an Ainu (Lifted up the back of his shirt to reveal a scar that had faded on his back about 2 inches long and would have been quite a nasty deep cut to of made such a scar)

Ren: What happened? (Brought his hand up taking a finger over the scar gently)

Horo: well…

Flashback-

One of the boys pulled out a knife and played with the blade before handing it to Raidon who smirked dreaming up ways to use his newfound toy. He stroked the blade against his own skin making sure Horo could see what he had and knew what he intended to do with it. Horo stood and backed up ready the fight them off. Raidon looked big and strong but he was sure he could out run the much older boy. Raidon made a go for it trying to jab it into Horos chest but missing as Horo tried to duck under and around him. Unfortunately the boy Raidon was faster than Horo had thought and turned jabbing his knife down and gashed the tender flesh of his lower back. Horo screamed out in pain falling to the floor holding the spot he was stabbed. Raidon stood looking more and more bloodthirsty and he again cradled the blade between his fingers toying with it with a sense of power.

Jiro: Looks like you got him

Raidon: Looks like

Jiro: Come on lets finish him off

Raidon: Don't rush me

Jiro: Sorry Raidon (Slapped a hand on the big guys chest and stepped back letting Raidon take his sweet time)

Horo knew he had to get out of there. Kororo was ready waiting for her master's command. Horo was preparing to do what he had to but it hurt so dam much. He felt it trickle and moving was painful. He worried about the wound and if it hit any organs or tore any muscle. His skin burnt with hot oozing bloody. Raidon wanted to kill him just because of his culture, his race, his beliefs. He never hurt him so why did he and his friends want to kill him. Horo saw Raidon rise his hand to strike the knife into his flesh again but Horo moved out the way falling out the corner area and into the pouring rain, The boys tried to make pursuit but Horo managed to get Kororo into his board and make a ice wall sealing them in. He could here them scream and bang on the ice wanting to be let out threatening and shouting abuse. Horo picked himself up and ran to the nearest hospital which was quite far… he hoped he would make it in time or bleed to death in that god forsaken place

End of Flashback-

**One understands our ways are wrong  
****The blue haired boy knew all along  
****Fighting to bring back what man has taken  
****His true powers have yet to awaken**

Ren let Horo put down his top and covered back up the past smiling like it was just another simple thing but to Ren it wasn't. Someone hurt him and Ren didn't like that at all. The thought of some sick twisted boys wanting to kill him because of who he is sounded wrong in everyway, they wanted his Horo dead for something as stupid as being an Ainu. Ren leaned closer sitting right by Horos side, these kinds of things remind you of a person's mortality. The more stupid thing about it, Horo wanted to save the planet and he was being condemned for it. Horo smiled at Ren who sat by his side loyally as if to say in a Ren sort of way 'I'm here'. Horo wrapped an arm around Rens waist looking back over the city letting the blinding lights of the night clubs cars and traffic lights and letting the noises of faint music and people chatting shouting and what not. Horo closed his eyes and blocked out the rest of the world for a moment. He felt at peace right now with Ren sat high looking over the vast city. He felt something cold on his nose. He opened his eyes and saw snow falling gently across the city. White blanketed the rooftops and roads; it painted the background white and made the skies look like a billion stars were falling down to earth in the form of snow. Nature was on Horos side that was all that mattered, the earth knew he wanted to help and leant him its gift. He could almost hear the wind egging him on pushing him up to the challenge but… there was still time to save the earth and sit back and enjoy it.

**His control over ice shows his connection to nature  
****Glistening eyes of joyful azure  
****Smiles wide with hopeful eyes  
****Broke away from modern ties**

Ren watched the snowfall lightly blanketing everything in a beautiful white fluff. Ren was awestruck by the simplicity and magnificence of something as small as snow. It was very cold by now and Ren shivered as the icy winds caught his hair and blew snow into his face. Horo pulled Ren closer laughing at the shuddering Chinese who sat with his knees in his chest now trying to get warmth by cuddling his knees. Horo leaned over and placed a kiss on Rens cheek feeling the cold wet skin that still seemed to warm him up even if it was freezing. Ren felt the warm touch and sank into Horo with his head under Horos chin. He got used to being with Horo now it wasn't a big deal anymore. He let Horo love him just like Horo let him love back. The snow always reminded Ren of Horo after all he was an ice shaman, it couldn't be easy controlling an element just look at Hao Asakura he controlled fire but still after 1000 years he and his element couldn't stop Yoh. Horo was admirable in many ways. He had another gift; just by looking at you he could make you as hopeful and young as he almost turning back the clock to a time when you felt youthful and alive. The simplicity of Horo made him more interesting…

**Simple living for the one who is child-like  
****His journey to the top is quite the hike  
****No matter his confidence grows  
****Like the wheat harvested in the meadows**

The snow had slowed and now very faint snow fell in place of the thick chunky snow that covered everything in sight. Just as Horo was going to get up to take Ren home he froze. Suddenly the entire place went pitch black all lights went off and the city went quiet. Horo looked over the city hearing no music or cars or anything. He couldn't see any lights factories pumping out toxic fumes or neon signs flashing away. The entire place was serene. Horo looked to Ren who looked over the black city too

Horo: Strange… the power must have been cut off

Ren: … (Nodded in response)

Horo: How?

Ren: Might have something to do with the weather

Horo: Really? (Got a nod to answer his question)

Horo sat with Ren in almost complete darkness, as did the entire city. Horo grasped Rens hand and held it tightly with Ren just shifting looks with out turning his head. For most they could of done this undetected in this dim light but Rens eyes were like cat eyes at the side of the road. Even if there is only a tiny bit of light they glow a golden colour. Horo watched Ren with a smirk, it was amusing when Ren tried to hide he was looking at Horo but even more so when he's caught out with out realising it and carries on thinking no one has noticed. Horo leaned closer getting an odd look before planting a kiss on Rens lips. Horo carried on getting a kiss back; the golden glow went as Ren drifted his eyes shut. Horo was a one of a kind unlike any other and in Rens mind all his. Horo climbed on Ren sitting across him and pulling him real close smirking at the Chinese as he shifted back knowing Horo was up to something.

**Untamed and wild  
****Every aspect of this being is a child  
****Mind so open and heart so pure  
****People like him are fewer and fewer**

Horo: It really makes me think when I see you sat there shivering and cold, how you can be so cold and yet look so hot

Ren: If your going to use cheap pick up lines ad least wait till I've tuned you out completely before dropping them

Horo: My lines aren't cheap (Fake pouted and leaned in so Ren was directly looking him in the eyes) they are just creative

Ren: If creative means common garb used on cheap hookers then its pretty dam accurate

Horo: Aww Ren you're not a cheap hooker… you're an expensive hooker

Ren: (Thumped Horo in the chest and tried to pin him) I am not a hooker!

Horo: Okay you're not a hooker! Besides you're a one-man guy hookers tend to have a few, unless there's something you're not telling me

Ren: Oh sure me and Yoh are having an affair behind your back and Lyserg sometimes joins in for the fun of it heck I might even let Ryu come along (Said in a sarcastic tone)

Horo: (Right eye closed and the left winced in this look of utter disgust) Eww I didn't know you were into those group things

Ren: (Punched Horo several times before being pinned) Dam you Horo!

Horo: Well this does explain the revealing clothes you wear (Smirked at how tweaked Ren was)

Ren: Stop implying I'm a common whore!

Horo: I would never do that, there's no way your common (Smirk widened) besides your all mine

Ren: Like hell, I don't belong to you

Horo: Your heart does

Ren: So what I can survive with out mine could you survive with out yours? (Ren smirked at Horo this time)

Horo: What ever do you mean?

Ren: I have yours

Horo: …True…

Ren: (Leant up and kissed Horo gently) And I intend on keeping it

Horo: That's it your sleeping in your own bed tonight

Ren: Fine (Pulled Horo down on top of him) As long as you're in it

**Tender touch and breezy attitude  
****His quest defies the multitude  
****Nor man nor beast stands in his way  
****The boy called Horo as we all say**

Horo laid flat over the top of Ren who was enjoying the look on Horos face right now, Horo was both pleased and surprised. Horo leant down and nuzzled into Ren Holding him tightly and smiling.

Horo: Of course, I couldn't sleep with out my very own Chinese to cuddle

Ren: Sometimes I think I should disown you

Horo: Don't be too hasty Ren-Koi

Ren: (Blushed) What have I told you about calling me that

Horo: Erm… Oh only to be said in the privacy of our home

Ren: Good boy

Horo: Because I've been so good can we go home and have an early night

Ren: Is that all you ever think about

Horo: Pretty much

**Blissfully continues to do his best  
****Taking on his mission with cheer and zest  
****His heart has lead him this far  
****He shines as bright as the northern star**

Ren lay there with Horo a little longer and looked up at the sky, with the entire city suffering from a power outage the stars shone brighter than ever. Every star gleamed ten times brighter as all the lights were out and the factories didn't pour our smoke covering the sky in grey toxins. Horo playfully nuzzled and innocently rested on Rens body lightly breathing with a ghost of a smile gracefully planted across his face showing his contentment. His heart beat steady and Ren could feel his reason for life pounding strong in an intoxicating rhythm. Ren could see Horos face and it was so innocent and untouched. Just beside Horos face there was a flower in the snow, it had survived longer than the rest of the plants most the flowers had vanished ready for winter but not this one flower, this blue hibiscus stood out brightly still full of life healthy and strong. Horo opened his eyes looking up at Ren who had shifted himself to look carefully at his surroundings and absorb all the sites. Horo had made Ren appreciate the planet more and humanity along with Yoh and the others. If Ren had met someone like Horo many years ago when En still controlled the family he would of destroyed such a gift for being what he wasn't and being who he was. Was he no better than those boys? Ren shook his head and tried to think about how much he had changed not how bad he was before he changed. Horo always reminded him why his new life was better again it was Horos gift to do so

**Voice so calm and steady  
****His mind set and weapon ready  
****Even though he's young at heart  
****He's ready to fight on nature's part**

Horo sat up and let Ren do the same he stood and brushed himself off stretching slightly. Just then all the lights from the city turned on and the noise and hustle of the city started over again… well it was nice while it lasted. He put his arm out for Ren to hook onto getting a pair of eyes rolling before hesitantly hooking his arm through. Horo smiled knowing Ren loved it really. They walked off Home not saying anything and not needing to. The last thought that Ren through Rens head was 'Why did nature choose this Ainu-Baka to be its guardian?'…

**Let this unadulterated soul dream  
****Under the delights of a moon beam  
****He seems dim with lack of control  
****But when it comes to nature he knows more than any soul…**

_**Horokeu Usui**_

_**Don't ask me what I was on when I wrote this I am not completely sure… Not anything you should be taking anytime soon if you're a writer**_


	6. Give Me Your Word

WARNING: HoroRen and people who love PirikaRen I suggest you don't read in advance… in fact anyone who likes Pirika I suggest you don't read… I hate her…  
OBVIOUSLY!

Give me Your Word

Give me your word

You wont leave me alone

Give me your word

You are my own

Give me your word

Where ever I turn your there

Give me your word

I need you to swear!

Give me your word

You wont break my heart

Give me your word

We can make a new start

Give me your word

I'm the only one

Give me your word

You'll be here when all is said and done

Give me your word

I can trust what you say

Give me our word

You'll always stay

Give me your word

When I need it you'll give me a smile

Give me your word

You'll stick around, even when I'm hostile

Give me your word

You love me only

Give me your word

You wont let me be lonely

Give me your word

You believe in me

Give me your word

Because your word is a guarantee

It was a normal day for the occupants of the Funbari Inn or so they thought. Ren got annoyed at Pirika who had been bugging him lately in fact had acted a little bit stalkish around him. Horo urged Ren to try and be a little nicer, Ren being a sucker for Horos eyes and got 1 huge favour to be claimed at a later date from Horo he swallowed his anger and tried his hardest to be civil. In fact he was rather nice to her most the time when she became clingy or just plain too close Ren pardoned himself nicely and when she started to make him feel uncomfortable he managed to change the topic and then just listen to her chat away practically to herself because he wasn't really listening. The next few days though burdensome did leave him with a lot of credit in Horos books, which he could always use against him later. This proved to go wrong in everyway possible…

They sat down to dinner and Pirika snagged the seat next to Ren and Horo sat opposite stuffing his face with the delicious food. Ren most the time just ate with his eyes closed ignoring his lover's bad table manners and the staring eyes of his lover's sister. Horo and he had been secret lovers for a while now and still only one person could say for definite they were together but most had their suspicions, except Anna who already knew (From day 1) and Pilika who was clueless with her mind clouded with other thoughts. Pirika stared at Ren who didn't like it but ignored it. Then he heard a voice speak his name

**Give me your word  
****You wont leave me alone  
****Give me your word  
****You are my own**

"Ren?" Pirika spoke up and Ren paused his eating

"What?" Then carried on with his rice intending on ignoring more of her chitchat

"Well you see… I… erm well" She leaned over and kissed him while he had a huge wad of rice in his mouth. He froze and his eyes widened then she broke quickly "I like you"

Ren didn't say a word he still had rice sitting on his tongue but he couldn't swallow right now because he felt like something was going to come up any second. He was shocked to say the least. Everyone stared over the table but the most shocked face was Horos. Ren slowly turned his face to his secret lovers and it didn't look happy at all. It looked pained and confused. Pirika saw her brother's face and mistook what his look was for.

"Don't look at us like that Horo, if we are in love you should accept that and stop being an over protective brother" She held onto Rens arm who still tried to muster up the means to swallow his food and explain

"I… I… I" Horo stammered not being able to put his feelings into words

"No, no need to explain you either accept it or you don't" Pirika said so sure of her self but Ren saw the look on Horos face and swallowed hard to clear his throat to try explain

"Hor…" Ren didn't finish as Horo interrupted

"I think I need some air" He stood up and left looking pale

"Horo!" Turned and tried to stand to follow only to have Pirika pull him down

"Don't worry about him, just leave him to cool if he cant accept us it's his own problem"

"Us!" Ren repeated her statement

"Yes" Pirika replied coolly. Ren looked at her in a weird way then winced at the thought

"I need to speak to Horo" He stood up shaking her off and when she stood to go with him he sighed and said firmly "Alone!"

"Sure thing"

Ren walked off leaving her stood at the table dreaming up fantasies about her and Ren that could never come true because Ren loved Horo.

**Give me your word  
****Where ever I turn your there  
****Give me your word  
****I need you to swear!**

Ren went through the house and saw Horo putting on his coat and shoes ready to go outside. Ren rushed over and pulled on his arm to make sure he stayed and listened. Horo turned to him looking a little hurt and yet guilty at the same time.

"Horo, I swear I didn't mean for her to" Ren tried to get his point across

"I… I can't believe it Ren" Horo said with a look of hurt in his eyes

"Neither can I but it doesn't mean anything" Ren explained

"Do you like her?" Horo asked pleadingly

Ren was about to open his mouth to talk when Pirika came in and grabbed Rens arm hooking her arm through it like what couples do but there was a big difference… Ren and her weren't a couple.

"Horo, I like Ren if you cant accept that then I think it's best you do leave" Pirika said firmly

"I… I got to go" Horo stuttered again before he turned and went out the door

"Horo! Wait!" Ren tried to reach out and follow but Pirika kept hold of his arm

"Let him go, he needs to learn to accept my decisions" She proclaimed in a clueless manner

"Let go of me!" Pushed her arm off, he opened the door and Horo was gone, he knew it would be pointless to search now because Horo knew how to hide from Ren when he really wanted to be alone. Ren slammed the door in defeat

"Ren, are you okay?" She said as she tried to attach herself again but Ren lurched his arm away unkindly, he didn't care if Horo had asked him to be nice to her he couldn't right now

"Get this straight… I don't like you like that, I don't love you" Looked at the door then at her "I cant love you!"

"W-why?" Her eyes were all teary and she felt rejected

"Because I love someone else" Was Rens plain statement

"W-who? What do they have that I don't?"

"A lot… I love Horo" He said glaring at her. Her heart stopped for a second and her eyes welled up

"Oniichan! You love my Oniichan!" Her heart in her throat right now

"Yes!" Ren yelled loosing his cool with the Ainu girl

**Give me your word  
****You wont break my heart  
****Give me your word  
****We can make a new start**

She took the hint and left running out the room crying and going up to her room. He didn't want to be harsh but she nearly destroyed him and Horo. She seemed to think right away he and her were an item just because he was nice to her for a few days, is it really that uncommon him being nice that people could mistake it with love… everyone must be backwards or ad least in Rens mind they were. Ren didn't want to go back in the kitchen where the others were sat no doubts whispering about the event. Ren decided to wait it out upstairs in his room ad least until dinner was finished and everyone was out the way. All he could do now was wait for Horo to come back…

Later That Night-

Tamao went up to cheer up Pirika and by the sounds of it everyone heard Rens speech so no one wanted to get too close to him right now feeling edgy doing so. It's not everyday you hear an outburst like that from Ren; the unpredictability wasn't a good thing. Ren waited for everyone to head up and go to bed before going downstairs and waiting for Horo to come back, he paced around a while went through bottle after bottle of milk until he finally sat down somewhere he could see the door from. He sat patiently just waiting wondering if Horo was even coming back tonight, he didn't think something so simple could affect Horo like this. Arguments and bickers ten times worse than this have never been so… damaging. Ren was lost in thought resting his head in his right hand staring blankly into the darkened house. He suddenly got brought out of his thoughts as he heard a click from the door. The door slowly opened and shut again just as quietly with Horo steeping in and taking his coat and shoes off hurriedly. Horo turned and saw Ren looking at him, he rubbed the back of his neck and then tried to walk away to go up stairs with out a word but Ren stood and got in front of Horo who stopped dead in his tracks knowing Ren wasn't going to let him by. Ren backed Horo back away from the stairs and kept making an approach on his lover. Horo found himself against the door when Ren stopped.

**Give me your word  
****I'm the only one  
****Give me your word  
****You'll be here when all is said and done**

"Where the hell were you dam it!" Ren spat quietly feeling abandoned by his Ainu

"I needed time to think I…" Horo was cut off by Rens enraged voice that was hushed so as not to disturb everyone else

"You needed to think! It wasn't my sister trying to play tongue tonsil with you!" Ren spat pointing an accused finger at Horo

"I'm sorry but you and my sister kissed! In front of me! How would you like it if me and Jun were kissing in front of you!" Horo mimicked the tone and volume sounding more insulted than angry

"Look your sister kissed me I don't like her" Ren stated getting his point across

"Well, from where I was sat it looked a lot different" Horo glared at Ren for a minute then relaxed "It hurt"

"What do you mean 'it hurt'?" Ren said gaining a level tone of voice and loosing his bitterness

"It hurt to see her kiss you, it hurt that she didn't know what you mean to me. I feel like your dirty little secret" Horo said sounding disappointed and sad

**Give me your word  
****I can trust what you say  
****Give me our word  
****You'll always stay**

Ren stared at him seeing truth in his eyes, if they weren't secretive about it this wouldn't of happened and Pirika wouldn't have tried to proclaim him her boyfriend. Horo and he were together and no one knew so it was only a matter of time before everything fell apart like this.

"Well it's not exactly a secret anymore" Ren said looking him dead in the eye

"What?" Horo said sharply looking Ren dead in the eye

"I shouted at Pirika I couldn't like her I loved you and no doubt everyone else heard" Ren admitted

"You… You told her you loved me" Horo said giving him a funny look

"Well what else was I suppose to say? It's the truth" Ren said putting his hand on the door either side of Horo leaning in closely

**Give me your word  
****When I need it you'll give me a smile  
****Give me your word  
****You'll stick around, even when I'm hostile**

Horo smiled at Ren closing the distance and hugging Ren by the waist, a clock in the background chimed mid-night and Horo knew it was too late to be up right now.

"We better head upstairs" Horo said grabbing hold of one of Rens hands and heading up to his room. Ren followed Horo up getting ready for bed with Horo.

"Ren?" Horo timidly asked

"Yeah" Ren replied coolly

"Can you promise me something?" Horo asked walking over to Ren

"Depends what it is?" Ren answered wonder if it was going to be something else that could end in disaster like the Pirika thing

"Promise me you'll always be honest to me" Horo said feeling guilty he needed the reassurance so badly

"I promise and seem so we're being honest I need you to promise me something…" Ren replied cuddling up close

**Give me your word  
****You love me only  
****Give me your word  
****You wont let me be lonely**

"Anything" Horo said with a smile

"You'll believe me" Ren asked while allowing Horo to cuddle him

"Always" Horo said turning Rens head to look to him in the eye "You're a terrible liar"

Ren gave him a dirty look rolling his eyes, even after all that he still manages to add something stupid on the end and he loved him for it. He decided to get to bed today was tiring enough. Ren climbed in bed with Horo following, Horo had some closing statements to make so when Ren was just about to close his eyes Horo spoke up

"Ren, you love me right?" Horo asked smiling at Ren who looked up with an emotionless expression before allowing himself to warm up slightly putting on the faintest of smiles

"I give you my word…"

**Give me your word  
****You believe in me  
****Give me your word  
****Because your word is a guarantee**

_Wow… the pointlessness of my work; to be honest I just wanted to make Pirika rejected. I'm holding a grudge against her right now as you can tell_

_**Rock-On!**_


	7. Lust

**Lust**

Heart beats unsteady and quick  
Stomach woozy, feeling sick  
Happy and dopey when I have your attention  
These feeling are beyond my comprehension  
Whether with or with out you your on my mind  
My voice becomes hard to find  
So many wants and too many needs  
Who knows where this feeling leads  
Body riddled with untold desire  
Heart and soul feel like they're on fire  
Every feature a thing of beauty  
It seems to please you is my duty  
I become unsure when you're too close  
I find it hard to compose  
Thoughts and dreams run around my head  
Body hot and face red  
I flush and flutter with a yearning  
My blood and flesh are burning  
Breathing is a difficult task  
Anger my only mask  
Tender touch and a sweet smile  
I was lost in refusal and denial  
Wouldn't admit there was something  
I tried to tell myself it was nothing more than a fling  
A crush, a desire, a deadly sin  
I didn't want you to win  
But no matter what I had this craving  
My will was slowly caving  
I could hardly hold back when you came near  
Loosing control was my biggest fear  
Doing something I'd regret  
Loosing you was a harsh threat  
One night was all it took  
My heart flew and my body shook  
This feeling I've learned to trust  
I know what I have isn't just lust

Ren sat by himself at the window in his and Horos room looking out at the pouring rain as it fell drearily soaking everything. Horo was late coming home most likely because of the weather. They got a call saying the flight was delayed and may not take off at all today and might be postponed till the next day. Ren didn't like this thought he had only been apart from Horo for a week and already he had made strange ways to account for his absence. He'd play Horo favourite music whenever it was too quiet and would hug a pillow to death at night finding he couldn't sleep very well with out something in his arms. He also had a few nightmares. He hadn't for such a long time it made it worse knowing no one was there to comfort him. He dammed the Ainu for leaving but couldn't expect Horo to be with him every second of everyday. That wasn't the only itch Ren needed Horo to scratch either. Ren wanted Horo close in other ways, more sexual ways. Rens cheeks tinted pink thinking about him and Horo and those long nights, those times were each special and close to him.

**Heart beats unsteady and quick  
****Stomach woozy, feeling sick  
****Happy and dopey when I have your attention  
****These feeling are beyond my comprehension**

Ren turned from his spot going over to the bed and sitting cross-legged grabbing the nearest pillow and gripping it as if it were a big cuddly teddy bear. He looked over the room that now was his and Horos. Ren hadn't really stayed in his room for a while and Anna was making him move out of it soon anyways. He didn't care he never used it anyways so Anna could turn it into a storage room for all he cared. He had a place to sleep at night with his Koi, she couldn't say her and Yoh shared a room or a bed and they have been engaged since they were children. Ren reminisced on times before Horo and he were together as a couple. Some moments made him smile others made him frown but either way a memory with Horo in it was kept with him. Ren turned to the bedside table and noticed a picture Horo had put up not so long ago. The picture was from just after the shaman tournament. Everyone went on a trip to see various places around the world. Horo being the idiot he is chose the freezing Alps in Sweden. The picture was near the ski lift; Ren never went on that Ski lift till Horo made him. The thing was shaky dirty and unfit for use in every way mentionable. They had just reached the top and got off with Horo poking fun at Ren…

**Whether with or with out you your on my mind  
****My voice becomes hard to find  
****So many wants and too many needs  
****Who knows where this feeling leads**

Flashback-

"Come on Ren just get on" Horo said while pushing Ren towards the huge ski lift

"There is no way I'm going on that thing!" Ren shouted back at Horo while Horo carried on pushing. Horo just smiled and held Ren at the bottom as a chair came around. Ren tried to get away but Horo didn't let go, Horo knew Ren wouldn't willingly sit down so last Minute he picked Ren up off the ground with Ren kicking and hitting his back.

"Horo! Put me down this second!" Ren hit Horo in the back repeatedly not liking being slung over the Ainus shoulder.

"Alright then" Horo then while the chair was just next to him dropped Ren on it and climbed on. Ren glared at him wanting to jump off but Horo put the bar down sealing off his escape. Ren glowered at Horo looking as if he was going to kill that idiot for what he did. The chair jolted and Ren gripped the bar in front of him while turning around to look at who was jumping around. There behind him and Horo were 2 teenage boys trying to see how much they could make the chair rock. Ren growled lowly still gripping the bar as the boys carried on with their display of childish upheaval. Horo teased about Ren being scared.

"Is Ren a little scared" Horo spoke in an annoying tone

"No!" Ren letting go of the bar and crossing his arms getting used to the slight jolts caused by the boys. Horo smirked wickedly before then rocking the chair side to side jumping around. Ren instantly gripped the bar again

"HORO!" Ren shouted gritting his teeth "Pack it in right now" Ren growled lowly sounding vicious and unholy. Horo didn't take notice rocking the chair more. Ren removed his hand from the bar grabbing Horos t-shirt instead with his face an inch away baring his teeth. He turned red with rage as Horo sat there still grinning but in a more nervous way. Just when Ren was about to threaten Horos life the boys behind jumped up and down hard making Ren and Horo jump up and down too. Rens chest smacked against Horos and Horo now laid on his back across his half of the chair with Ren leaning over him and his head against the side of the chair. Ren looked at Horo from his position and his eyes widened. His heart beat faster and his face drained. All the blood rushed to his cheeks and drained from everywhere else. He felt shaky and nervous not daring to move encase Horo saw him falter. Horos head turned then a smile appeared on his face. He opened his mouth and shouted loudly

"Ren! Not in front of all those kids I've told you before not to molest me!" Horo still smiling trying not to laugh and give it away. Soon Rens heart stopped for a second as he turned and saw a bunch of kids learning to ski looking up at him and Horo with mothers and teachers trying to cover the kids eyes or take their attention away from the spectacle Horo made. Ren pulled back almost flying off the other side blushing like crazy feeling sick and lost for words. Horo burst into laughter watching Rens face go white and shocked. The top was in site and Rens embarrassment faded into anger. He squinted his eyes and his hair grew almost 2 inches. He straightened up and clenched his fists. He wasn't going to let that Ainu make a mockery of him. Ren lifted the bar ready for when they got off and the edge was just in site. Ren lifted a leg and kicked Horo hard so he fell off onto the ground rolling downhill a little in the snow. Ren calmly got off at the right place. He turned around to see Horo climbing back up covered in snow and not looking like a happy bunny. Horo walked over to Ren with a dirty look

"Just because I made a little joke doesn't mean you should try kill me!" Horo said angrily trying to brush the snow off his neck from where he got snow down his jacket. It was Rens turn to smirk

"Your lucky I _didn't_ kill you for shouting that I was molesting you" Ren turned and started to walk away when Yoh called from behind so he turned and saw Yoh stood with a camera. He didn't have time to react as the camera flashed and surprised him. Horo was waving smiling at the camera with snow still stuck in his hair. Ren glared at Yoh who quickly backed off and went to take a picture of Chocolove who was just coming off the ski lift.

Flashback End-

**Body riddled with untold desire  
****Heart and soul feel like they're on fire  
****Every feature a thing of beauty  
****It seems to please you is my duty**

Ren had picked up and looked at the picture while remembering the day and then placing it back on the counter looking at Horo smile sweetly while he just looked bored and uninterested maybe a little surprised. There was only one picture of Ren smiling in existence and Horo kept that picture under his bed in an album. Ren decided to nosey he had seen the picture before but he hadn't looked through the entire album before.

Ren opened the book and in the front were pictures of Horo when he was younger, there were pictures of him playing in the snow and pictures of him and Pirika stood side by side near the small swamplands. There was a picture of Horo rolling downhill after what looks like a wipe out on his snowboard. Ren smiled when he saw a picture Horo with a black eye and bandages on his left arm still smiling childishly. He had his brag face on. His eyes were closed and his chest shoved out with one hand held to chest level in a loose fist as he most likely was giving a speech about himself. Horo always had that look when he was talking about himself braggingly. Ren flicked over a few more pages seeing more recent pictures. Ren saw a picture that he frowned at. It was a picture of them during an argument. They had both been edgy towards each other near the beginning of them meeting each other. While Horo was visiting Yoh after Haos recent defeat Ren had stopped by. He didn't expect to see the Ainu he hadn't been warned of him coming.

**I become unsure when you're too close  
****I find it hard to compose  
****Thoughts and dreams run around my head  
****Body hot and face red**

Flashback-

Ren walked up to the door of Funbari Inn and waited hearing a commotion. Unknown to Ren Horo had stopped by and well managed to destroy a few things in an accident. Anna had thrown something at him and his head ached and he felt drunk and light headed. He heard the door and Anna commanded him to get it. He had to be told three times before it got through and he staggered over to the door. Ren leant against the doorframe wondering why Yoh and Anna were taking there sweet time to answer. The door opened and Ren was about to say something when he noticed it was Horo who answered the door. He went still eyeing the Ainu wondering if he had changed much since the last time he saw him. Just as Ren was looking over Horo he noticed the slight wobble and tried to comment.

"Horo?" Ren looked at Horo dead in the eye before Horos eyes closed and his face came forward. Ren blushed thinking Horo was doing something else panicking and freezing into a frigid position. Horo didn't stop he just kept coming forward then collapsed right on top of Ren falling to the ground over Ren. Ren was pinned to the floor by Horos body. Ren blushed and made a slight whimper noise and holding his breathe. Horos full upper half pushed down on Rens and his head rested by Rens, face down to the ground and his chin on Rens shoulder. Ren lifted his hands shakily and tried to wiggle a little but felt Horos nose travel down part of his chest and he shuddered from the weird feelings. He pulled his legs out and then finally began to breathe properly a hand on his chest to try steady his thumping heart. He finally calmed down when he realised Horo was still unconscious on the floor. He stood up with shaky knees before nudging Horo in the side with his foot. He got no response so knelt down hesitating before placing a hand on Horo and shaking him. Again no response so Ren tried turning him over only to see a cut open on his head and it was bleeding quite a bit. Ren again panicked getting the Ainu by the arms and dragging him back into the house to get help

"Yoh! Anna! A little help!" Ren called out still dragging Horo through and closing the door as he did so. Yoh soon came through and helped. They got Horo onto the couch cleaned the wound and tried to get him to wake up. They tried everything but eventually it was Anna throwing a glass of ice water over him that woke him. He coughed and spluttered before holding his head in agony. Yoh went quickly to find out some aspirin and Anna being uninterested in Horos condition or the fact she caused it stayed out the room reading her magazine casually. Yoh seemed to of gone missing somewhere in the house and 10 minutes later he still hadn't returned. Ren sat quietly thinking before voicing some questions

"How long have you been here?" Ren asked neutrally

"About 3 days, why?" Horo asked in response to Rens question

"I didn't get word of you coming back" Ren looked up at the ceiling avoiding eye contact

"That's because I didn't send word, it was just short term. I'm going to be leaving by the end of the week" Horo said with a sigh at the end

"You should of told me you were coming" Ren said in a more angry tone

"Why would you care if I told you or not? When you talk like that it makes it seem like you care" Horo said matching the angry tone

"As if! If I knew I wouldn't have bothered coming till after you left" Ren retorted coldly

"Why did you? I thought you didn't need friends" Horo spat crossing his arms and sulking quiet badly

"I don't need to tell you my reasons!" Ren shouted at Horo who was being too cocky at that moment

"Well I don't need to tell you why I didn't tell you why I was coming! All we do is fight anyway!" Crossly shouted still in his sulky position

"Your such an idiot" Ren crossed his arms and looked away with a disgusted look on his face. Horo stood and tried to get around tripping on the sofa and having to stop himself from falling by grabbing onto Ren shoulders and pull himself up

"G-get off m-me!" Ren tried to say coldly removing Horos hands and stuttering

"Y-yes Ren" Horo mimicked making fun of Rens stutter. Ren would have used words to get back at him but he didn't want to stutter again so used violence to get his point across hitting Horo so he stumbled back knocking into a counter and knocking off a few items on the counter one being a camera that took a picture as it hit the floor getting Horo and Ren stood in stance from a floor view. Ren looked very pissed off and Horo equally angered. Horo soon stood up straight and walked away leaving Ren to brew in his temper for a while with not so carefully picked leaving words

"Dam tight-ass Chinese" Horo stormed out in search of Yoh and his aspirin and Ren sat back down brooding on the scene folding his arms and whispering to himself

"Baka-Ainu"

Flashback End-

Ren carried on through the album with picture after picture all holding a memory. He got half way through when one jumped out at him. This picture wasn't long before they got together.

**I flush and flutter with a yearning  
****My blood and flesh are burning  
****Breathing is a difficult task  
****Anger is my only mask**

Flashback-

It was one of the annual new years parties at some persons house that knew a person that knew a person that somehow knew Yoh, Anna, Manta or some other member of the gang then Ren always found himself being dragged or forced to go. This party was held halfway across the city in some rich kids house but Ren didn't mind because he found it rather easy to find a balcony not in use. He sat staring out waiting for the screams and shouts of people celebrating New Year. It was his birthday in 15 minutes but that kind of paled in comparison to the celebrations of New Years Day. Ren didn't notice when someone sneaked onto the balcony getting just behind Ren before surprising the Tao by leaning down and screaming in Rens ear

"REN!" Horo screamed loudly making Ren pull away quickly and fall onto his side from his place on the floor looking over the large estate through the bars of the balcony

"Horo you buffoon!" Ren eyed the tipsy Ainu before deciding it wasn't worth it and tried to ignore him. Horo didn't like being ignored so sat down beside Ren and trying to hand Ren a glass of some alcoholic beverage but was declined rudely as Ren turned his head away and grumbling something about not touching common liquors. It was silent for a moment with Horo shuffling feeling uncomfortable then deciding to make with the small talk

"What you doing out here? Why aren't you in there enjoying yourself?" Horo questioned

"I don't call that enjoying myself I call it getting drunk and making a swine of ones self" Ren said suggesting to Horo that was what a New Years party was. Horo gave him a small smile before answering

"Well if being a swine is the way you picture having a good time then lets go be swine's" Horo said while laughing and taking in the last mouthful of his drink. Ren just leaned on his hand and looked at Horo with a bored expression. Horo looked back and smiled getting no response back

"It wouldn't kill you to smile you know" Horo said still slightly smiling

"Not everyone can smile all the time like you" Ren shot back

"I don't smile all the time I just smile more than you, come on show the world a real smile and not some fake looking smirk that says I'm-better-than-you but an actual happy one" Horo lectured

"I'm not going to smile just because you told me to" Ren glared at him feeling ever more annoyed his peaceful place was now being occupied by the blithering and tipsy Horo.

"What if I said please?" Horo asked innocently with a growing smile wobbling slightly. Ren chose to ignore him again shaking his head wondering why he had such an idiot as a friend. Horo leaned over and prodded Ren cheek with his finger getting his hand batted away but Horo didn't stop he just prodded his finger into Rens side getting Ren jump slightly and push Horo away who further approached tickling Rens sides to try make him smile. Ren pushed him away only to have Horo pin him and begin to tickle worse this time with Rens struggling from wriggling to get away while at the same time trying not to laugh out loudly.

"Give up already and smile you know you want to" Horo said stopping briefly to allow Ren to voice an answer. Ren just glared up at Horo for a few seconds until the thought he was under Horo came up. He looked at where Horo was sat and then looked up at Horo who was smiling proudly hands at the ready to start again. Rens heart started to beat faster and he felt himself shiver. His eyes involuntarily blinked repeatedly and widened. He didn't give a reply just tried to hide he was short of breath as he broke into a cold sweat. He felt absolutely powerless and stunned. Horo started again breaking Ren from his strange thoughts and Ren grabbing Horos hands and holding them tightly to try stopping him. This time Horo stared as Ren just blankly looked up at him sleepily. Horo leaned down a little looking at Ren seriously for a change. Ren didn't even notice Horos head getting closer at first but then it hit him that it was and he let go of Horo hands shoving Horo off him and panting for air standing up shakily. Horo stood up to and patted himself off smiling again.

"You should see the look on your face right now" Horo laughed but Ren didn't feel in a laughing mood

"You think pinning me to the ground and groping me was funny huh!" Ren shouted face going red from outrage

"I wasn't groping" Horo stated plainly before closing his eyes and crossing his arms "I was tickling" He opened his eyes again and laughed at Ren as he boiled over

"I don't care what you were doing it doesn't change the fact you were touching me when I didn't want to be!" Ren shouted and stormed back over to the railing and leaned on it gripping the bar tightly still mad at Horo. Horo came and stood next to him again looking over the estate with Ren whom was trying not to look Horo in the eye

"You should relax instead of being a tight ass" Horo leaned on the bar with his hand resting in his hand. Ren just grumbled some more before turning to face Horo again

"And you should stop being and immature hyperactive child but looks like neither will happen anytime soon does it" Ren answered back cockily getting a unimpressed look from Horo and a raised eye brow as Horo looked at Ren intently

"What are you so worried about? I mean, you always act like everyone's out to get you but they're not" Horo enquired getting a very displeased look from the angered Chinese who tried to calm himself through it all. Ren gave up and let go of his anger and just leant on the bar with his head on his arms lay across the bar. Horo gave up his questioning too and just stayed with Ren as the breeze blew his hair out of his headband slightly. Ren noticed and with out thinking brought his head up and took a hand to the hair tucking it back in and then brining his hand back to the railing and inspecting his work with his eyes. Horo looked at Ren with a sweet smile

"Thanks" Horo said quietly taking Rens concentration off Horos hair to Horos face. Ren just blushed and watched Horo stand up straight like he was. Horo stepped a little closer but Ren just stayed still. Just that moment the doors to the balcony were opened and a small crowd came running over with lots of glasses and party poppers. Chocolove jumped on Horos back and cheered

"30 seconds to mid-night" Chocolove shouted climbing down from Horos back and joining Ryu in a drink. Yoh handed both Horo and Ren a drink before then starting a count down with everyone but Ren joining in.

"10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Happy New Year!" the entire world chanted with celebrations and fireworks going off lighting up the sky. While everyone jumped around after 0 Horo leaned down and gave Ren a peck on the cheek smiling at Ren who put a hand on his cheek and blushed staring at Horo and stepping back.

"It's tradition to give someone a kiss at 0 see" Horo said while pointing over the crowd to see Yoh giving Anna a kiss and getting brushed off by her and Chocolove kissing Tam and getting told off by Ryu who wanted to do it and many more who Ren didn't know kissing each other some on the cheek others on the lips and some getting very into it. Ren took his hand from the spot and gave Horo a dirty look before getting distracted by the flash of a camera as Pirika went around and took pictures of everyone. Just after Pirika went Horo leaned in again to whisper something in Rens ear

"Happy Birthday Ren"

Flashback End-

**Tender touch and a sweet smile  
****I was lost in refusal and denial  
****Wouldn't admit there was something  
****I tried to tell myself it was nothing more than a fling**

Ren brought his hand to his cheek and sighed feeling a little lonelier than when he began. He went through page after page seeing the gang through the good times and bad. Horo loved pictures but Ren hated them. Ren didn't like having people take pictures of him when he wasn't looking or taking pictures of him when he said he didn't want his picture taking and especially when they try get pictures as a form of black mail. Horo had tried to do that but Ren soon dashed his hopes of getting a silly picture of Ren doing anything. The only thing that came close to a discriminating picture of Ren was the one where Ren was sleeping but even then that wasn't too bad. Ren by now had got to the very recent photos when he and Horo had just got together. Then Ren saw it, the only picture anyone ever successfully took with him genuinely smiling. Ren remembered when that picture was taken. Everyone knew they loved each other by now some were fine and perfectly happy with it some weren't sure and others weren't very supportive let's say. It didn't matter to them they didn't change much they didn't make out in front of everyone or start saying 'I love you' constantly. Everyone was having a day outside because of the heat. The house was like an oven and not even Anna could stand being in that house then and outside there was a slight breeze making it a little more bearable to be outside than in.

**A crush, a desire, a deadly sin  
****I didn't want you to win  
****But no matter what I had this craving  
****My will was slowly caving**

Flashback-

Horo laid on his back in the shade of a tree with Ren sat upright next to him leaning on his hands. Yoh was in the shade of the house along with Manta and Anna. Ryu was on the road and Chocolove hadn't come back from the shops yet. He was sent to go get some ice cream and other items listed on the shopping list. Tam went with him to make sure the task was done or else Chocolove was in for it. Pirika was out front chatting with a boy that she met a few days ago and saw him passing the Inn. He was a photographer from Kenya or something and supposedly talented according to Pirika. Horo sat up and leant against the tree taking his t-shirt off and putting it next to him

"Man, I'm not built for this kind of heat" Horo whined and shuffled around to get comfy. Ren rolled his eyes and looked up the sky covering his eyes with one hand to block out the sun. A little while past and Chocolove and Tam came back with plenty of ice cream for everyone. Tam shouted though to everyone and Yoh was the first to his feet to go get some followed by everyone else. Ren was about to get up when he noticed Horo wasn't moving from his spot with his eyes closed. Ren gave him a shake to tell him to get moving

"Horo, come on you heard her" Ren shook Horo a little more till Horos eyes opened

"I can't move I'm too comfy" Horo replied not moving

"Suit yourself" Ren tried to stand but Horo pulled him down So Ren was sat in-between his legs and wrapped an arm around Ren

"Bring me back some ice cream would ya" Horo asked while still cuddling Ren from behind

"If you want some you get off the ground and go get it" Ren said coldly before trying to stand only to have Horo put his other arm around Ren and tighten his grip

"But I want you to go make me an ice cream cone, if you make it I'll know it was made with love and care" Horo beseeched Ren to get him the ice cream

"Just get off your lazy ass and make it yourself" Ren said trying to break away from Horo who just pulled Ren closer

"Pretty please with a cherry on top" Horo asked in a child like tone

"Dam it Horo, go get your own ice cream and put your own dam cherry on top" Ren said not really getting the cherry on top part. Horo laughed a little before kissing Ren neck and asking one last time

"Do it for me" Horo begged but Ren just crossed his arms trying to ignore the begs "I love you" Horo whispered in Rens ear and then that was it. Ren gave in and sighed

"Fine, I'll make you a dam ice cream cone happy" Ren said quietly not sounding too thrilled

"Thank you Ren" Horo said with a huge smile still cuddling Ren from behind with Ren letting him quite happy just to sit with his Koi for a minute or two. That moment didn't last too long as Pirika brought over the young lad from Kenya to say hi.

"Horo, Ren, here's that photographer I told you about. His name is Keego" Pirika said with a smile introducing her new friend

"Nice to meet, heard so much about you both Ren and Horo" Keego politely said in broken Japanese

"Hey I'm Horo Pirikas brother" Horo said shaking Keego's hand "and this is Ren" Horo introduced Ren wrapping his arm around Ren again

"Want picture taken?" Keego asked holding up his camera and smiling

"Sure" Horo said with a smile. Keego stood back a few steps and changed a few things on his camera to prepare it. Horo cuddled further into Ren who didn't look to pleased to be having his picture taken by a complete stranger but Horo soon turned his frown upside down

"Come on Ren smile for the camera" Horo said teasingly

"I don't smile for cameras" Ren emotionlessly stated

"I know how to make you smile" Horo whispered into Rens ear and kissed his neck

"Really?" Ren asked sounding half interested

"Say Cheese" Keego said lifting his camera up to take the picture

"I love you" Horo whispered soothingly into Rens ear, Ren couldn't help but smile as Horo beamed away and turned to the camera. Ren was facing the camera but his eyes travelled to behind him. There was a flash and then a pause. Keego waited and handed a Polaroid to Ren and Horo. They watched as the picture slowly appeared. It was one of the best pictures of Ren with Horo sat behind him beaming and Ren smiling softly for a change. Pirika peeked over and laughed as well at the uncharacteristic picture of Ren.

"You really are a great photographer. You just took the only existing picture of Ren smiling" Horo said with a laugh, Horos laugh was soon stopped by Rens elbow as Ren stood up to go get some ice cream for him and his Koi…

Flashback End-

**I could hardly hold back when you came near  
****Loosing control was my biggest fear  
****Doing something I'd regret  
****Loosing you was a harsh threat**

Ren looked at the photo and smiled to himself before being broken out of his trip down memory lane by the door being opened. Horo stepped in with his bag and put it down on the ground. Ren put the album on the bed and stood up to greet Horo. Horo closed the door behind him and went over to Ren wrapping his arms around Rens waist as Ren wrapped his arms around Horos neck. Horo leaned down and kissed Ren getting a hell of a kiss back. Once they parted Horo smirked

"Does that mean you missed me?" Horo asked already kind of knowing the answer

"You got a week to make up to me so I say you get started" Ren said sharing the smirk and leaning in to kiss Horo again with Horo lowering Ren to the bed and laying Ren on his back so he could mount him. Ren didn't bother to try stop him after all he waited a week for this treatment. Horo leaned down kissing Ren before leaning up and seeing the photo album laid open on the bed next to them

"Isn't this my photo album?" Horo asked picking up the album and putting it on Rens stomach and looking at the pictures and smiling at all the memories.

"Yeah it is, so what?" Ren asked looking up at Horo who flicked through the pages

"Just didn't think you were one to be looking through old albums" Horo replied not really focusing much on Rens words just looking at the different pictures.

"I'm not a book stand Horo" Ren said noticing Horo using him to rest the album on to look through the pages

"Your too sexy to be a book stand… maybe a book shelf" Horo received a thump in the arm before then getting Ren closing the book and pulling Horo down to look at him in the eye.

"If I'm the book shelf you must be the librarian" Ren stated with a smirk getting a suppressed laugh from Horo. Just when they were about to kiss again though Yoh barged in. Horo lifted his head up and Ren glared at the visitor not looking too happy with the intrusion. Yoh stopped dead after coming in noticing the position they were in

"S-sorry am I interrupting" Yoh said sheepishly stepping back to the door of the room

"Yes! What do you want" Ren snapped sitting up still under Horo

"Well we are going out for dinner on me so I was sent up to ask if you want to come" Yoh said nervously not sure whether to look at the two or not. Horo and Ren looked at each other for a minute then turned back to Yoh

"No" They both simultaneously stated with a smile

"Okay" Yoh turned and started closing the door uttering a few unheard words "Try not make too much noise" with that Yoh closed the door and soon left the house with everyone else. Horo turned back to Ren trying to remember where he was. He didn't have time to get around to thinking as Ren hungrily took over kissing Horo hard and wrapping around his Koi. When they parted Horo panted with a huge smile

"Time really does make the heart grow fonder, maybe I should leave for a month and see what I get when I come back" Horo quirked and eye brow and waited for one of Rens trade mark replies

"Like hell you will, I think I better accompany you next time to make sure you don't get up to anything behind my back" Ren said with a grin leaning up and cuddling close knowing Horo couldn't resist a good cuddle, Horo was always the one to go for any and all affection given.

"Your such a liar Tao Ren" Horo said cuddling into Ren more and closing his eyes. Ren wrapped around him further and rubbed his cheek against Horos feeling Horos body go heavy. It took a matter of seconds for Ren to realise his Koi was asleep. No wonder with how long the flight must have taken to get off the ground and how long Horo was stuck in that airport waiting. Ren just lightly laid Horo down and looked over the sleeping form

"You owe me for this" Ren said laying his head down next to Horo and cuddling up as Horo turned over in his sleep and unknowingly did the same…

**One night was all it took  
****My heart flew and my body shook  
****This feeling I've learned to trust  
****I know what I have isn't just lust**


	8. Let Me Keep You

**Let Me Keep You**

A heart to heart  
A life for life  
As healing as a kiss  
As damaging as a knife

Am I not yours?  
Are you not mine?  
Love and hate  
They bare a thin line

I want you here  
Sweet one of such purity  
That I want to keep  
With me in security

It's torture to let you stay free  
To think you might fly away  
To never to be in my arms  
To never stay

Each second with you I hold  
You so tender and mild  
That I want to claim  
Capture you so free and wild

I want my way  
And I will do anything to have it  
But I love you too much to force you  
So I'll ask you what you see fit

To hear you give yourself to me  
To know I have your trust  
Is something I need  
And to keep it a must

I give myself away to  
In my heart there's no question who  
For you belong to me  
And I belong to you…

Horo had been running for a little while now and breathed in slowly to gain back his lost oxygen walking over to the edge of the hill and sitting where he could overlook all of Funbari and see Tokyo light up as dusk settled in. This was his and Rens favourite spot they came up here often now. They liked that they had their own place to see the stars in the vast city. Horo sat thinking and remembering Rens little outburst not knowing why he got that mad or why Ren became so… possessive.

-Flashback-

"Ren, he's done" Horo shouted wiping his mouth in disgust and narrowing his eyes in annoyance

"No! Not while he's still breathing" Ren spat with a terrifying glint in his eyes

"Ren! Stop!" Horo commanded grabbing hold of the kwan-doa before it could be lunged into the balled up man coughing and out of breathe holding his stomach in pain. Horo struggled a little tightening his grip and getting an outburst of disapproval as Ren pushed him back roughly against the wall shouting at him

"He touched you Horo! He touched what's mine!" Ren shouted gripping his hand into a fist holding it high threateningly but his fist soon loosened when he realised he had pushed Horo hard against the wall like that. He loosened and relaxed slightly reaching forward to grab Horos arm to lead him away from the scene "Horo, I'm…" before Ren could even finish he was stopped in shock as Horo pulled his arm away and pulled out into the corridor away from Ren looking insulted and peeved.

"Is that what I am? YOURS, your fucking possession!" Horo turned around feet at the ready not knowing whether to stay or go. He heard Ren voice up but didn't want to hear it

"Horo it's not…" Horo abruptly cut off Rens explanation

"I don't want to hear it!" Horo shouted turning to glare at Ren for a final time before giving his finishing statement "I'm not yours!" Horo ran off down the corridor with Ren faltering the follower at first but soon packed up his kwan-doa and pursued. Horo ran through a doorway through a parlour where people were drinking and chatting finding the nearest fire exit and bursting though them surprising a few people. Ren followed bursting though the fire doors to looking right and left to see where Horo could of possibly gone. Well right was a dead end so Ren chose to go left out into the crowded streets. Ren would never find Horo in that crowd there were too many all pushing and shoving to make their way around. Another reason he wouldn't was because back near that fire exit just in the other side of that wall stood out of breath and still pissed off Horo. He stood for minute but heard Rens voice shout his name again so sprinted off down the alley and out the other side leading away and to a place he could think.

-Flashback End-

Horo cradled himself with his arms leaning forward wondering why he got so mad

'Rens possession, I'm Rens thing? I don't like that part of Ren. I thought I loved everything about him but I don't like that part that wants to keep me down and under his thumb… I don't understand it. Maybe it's me, something in my head. I seem to always argue between my heart and my head, my heart screams give, and my head shouts take… It's sad'

**A heart to heart  
****A life for life  
****As healing as a kiss  
****As damaging as a knife**

Horo was brought out of his thoughts by an approaching figure that softly treaded unnoticed until he spoke out

"Horo…" Ren spoke softly to get his attention with out sounding mad at him. Horo swiftly turned and looked Ren up and down that stood a good distance away looking at Horo sit there still with a hint of hurt pride stuck in his eyes, Horo though soon turned back round facing the edge of the hill lowering his head and closing his eyes voicing out in a tone that defied his feelings, a calm tone unnatural for the Ainu

"How did you know I was here?" Horo asked still remaining calm and bottled up

"I know you" Ren walked over and sat solemnly next to Horo but quite close not looking at Horo sat there eyes closed head dropped "I know where you'd go in these cases"

"So I'm a case now?" Horo asked in a more angry tone but still collect

"Don't twist my words" Ren though didn't hide his frustration with Horo letting his displeasure seep into his voice but Horo was unaffected

"Mine? You said I was yours" Horo added getting to the subject he knew Ren really wanted to talk about. Ren sighed and looked up at the sky seeing a trail of stars leading over the hill

"Horo…" Ren didn't know how to explain he just uttered Horos name and hoped Horo would continue

"You acted like a I belonged to you… like I was a mere possession" Horo whispered opening his eyes to look half-heartedly over the darkened city

"It's not like that" Ren assured but Horo remained un-assured by that he wanted more

"Oh… Then what was it? Horo asked intently briefly shifting his gaze Rens way before turning again to the view

"… I snapped…" Ren admitted remembering the little events beginning

-Flashback-

Horo had gone to the bathroom while Ren waited in the main part of the building, he and Horo had gone to have dinner wanting to be away from everyone for a night. Ren got bored hanging around on his own so went to see what was taking Horo so long. He went through the back corridors of the place that led to the men's room. Ren figured Horo had got lost it was a bit of a maze. Ren turned a corner leading to an open area where employees would walk in and out the parlour where the rich and powerful sat to have their drinks away from the common bar at the other end of the building. He saw Horo wondering around and was about to call Horo over when a guy came out the parlour doors where the loud music and voices were defining. The man took one look at Horo and decided to have words and this man was very drunk indeed but very large.

"Hey handsome" The man said with a grin standing in Horos way. Ren frowned at the man sending a dark look his way

"Get lost!" Horo said coldly before trying to get around the man but after only making it to the mans side he was forced against the wall and pushed against it with the mans body as he forced a kiss on the Ainus lips and rubbed his hands up Horo thighs getting a huge struggle. Horo managed to break away coughing and spitting to show his disgust. Horo turned to see the man being hit by Ren and forced against the wall with punches landed to his chest and stomach before he eventually curled up receiving kicks to his balled up form. With every kick Ren barked at the man

"How dare you!" Kick to the mans upper arm "How dare you touch him!" Kick to his shoulder "Filthy roach!" Kick to his side "insect!" Kick to the mans stomach "How dare you touch what's not yours!" Ren gave a final kick to the mans head knocking him clean out but this wasn't enough he quickly got his kwan-doa out eyes wide with anger teeth gritting and an unholy look upon the beaten figure below. He raised his kwan-doa only to have it grabbed by Horo…

-Flashback End-

**Am I not yours?  
****Are you not mine?  
****Love and hate  
****They bare a thin line**

"He forced himself on you" Ren paused to look at Horo with a deathly look "He touched you" Ren kept his cool like Horo, he didn't want to get mad at this point but boy was he

"You think I liked that huh? I didn't, but to add to the humiliation of being man-handled you had to proclaim me yours" Horo said glumly and frigidly

"If you want me to say sorry, fine, I'm sorry" Ren said uncaringly not sounding sorry at all

"Hnn… you can't just treat me like a possession, it doesn't work that way" Horo informed Ren sounding glum

"Maybe it should" Ren retorted

"Charming" Horo said sarcastically closing his eyes to finish with the rest of his sarcastic comment "Next you'll be telling me how beautiful my eyes are" Ren smirked before letting a calm face settle on his features placing a hand on Horos hand. Horo opened his eyes at the tiny squeeze to his hand and turned to Ren

"Vous êtes des yeux sont si beaux" Ren said with a smile knowing Horo wouldn't understand the French exactly but get the point. Horo liked it when Ren spoke French it was one of those odd things you saw in movies that made the moment seem special. Horo blushed biting his tongue trying not to, knowing he should be mad not blushing like a little giddy girl. Horo kept saying over and over in his head 'don't let him sweet-talk you with French' but his mind was never the strongest. His heart seemed to be winning the new argument of 'stand strong' and 'forgive' but his head stopped dead when Ren mounted him sitting in his lap facing him. Rens knees were on the floor either side of Horos legs and his arms wrapped around Horos waist while Horos still stayed leaning back onto the ground. Ren got comfy shifting down into Horos body fitting into place making Horo take in a shaky breath at the feeling of Rens motions. Ren leant forward almost nose to nose with Horo getting a dumbfounded look back from Horo as he looked into his eyes. Ren leaned over to whisper in Horos ear softly

"Let me have you" Ren whispered leaning back to look at Horo again

"W-What?" Horo stuttered. Ren leant in placing his lips just on Horos very lightly so his lips tickled Horos as he spoke

"Let me have you… Let me keep you" Ren repeated pressing his lips against Horos harder kissing his sweetly. After breaking away he went in again to kiss Horo longingly getting a response quickly as Horo gave in just wanting to deeply kiss Ren back. Horo allowed Ren to carry on and unbutton his jacket all the way down as they kissed. Once they parted for air Ren removed his own coat and scarf before kissing Horo again removing the jacket from Horo completely so he sat with a bare chest, Horo just sighed feeling light and warm. He helped Ren remove his t-shirt so both now were sat with bare chests. Horo looked at Ren briefly before pulling him into a very strong embrace and holding on tight. Ren tried to work his way around to kiss Horo but Horo didn't loosen his hold. He was defiantly not letting Ren go but Ren didn't object just hugged back.

"Let me just hold you for a minute, k?" Horo asked softly. Ren sighed and nodded just closing his eyes and letting Horo think

'Ren, you continue to confuse me. Why were you so dominating? Why did you loose it? What is going through your head? Then again you're used to being in charge, in the shaman fights you were boss from the fights to the food we ate but you were always fair I guess. Have I been fair? I mean I'm always getting the upper on you now and you don't say anything yet you're possessive and I flip out. I shouldn't be so selfish' Horo sighed and cuddled up closer but looser just getting a feel for his position before beginning where he left off in his mind. 'I shouldn't deny him what he gives me, I love him enough to entrust myself to him completely…'

Horo took a deep breath and whispered his answer into Rens ear softly…

"I'm yours" Horo stroked over Rens back who had tightened his grip protectively

"Horo…?"

"You can keep me" Horo replied kissing his way up Rens neck then kissing Rens lips allowing himself to fall back under Rens weight.

**I want you here  
****Sweet one of such purity  
****That I want to keep  
****With me in security**

Ren began kissing Horo hungrily caressing his lover in the warmth offered. Horo laid back and let Ren work but Ren didn't seem to get what Horo was really offering along with the promise of being his. Ren got a little frustrated that Horo hadn't made a move, Ren didn't get it did Horo want him? Was Horo unsure or something else? Ren pulled back with a frustrated look but that soon faded when he saw the glint in Horos eyes as he just waited for Ren to understand why he was holding back. Horos smile foretold of his intentions, he really was giving himself… all of himself. Ren finally realised Horo was entrusting a lot in him so Ren didn't want to disappoint smiling back. Ren moved his hand down Horos body and to Horos shorts slowly and teasingly removing them skilfully. Horo helped with the removal of Rens trousers and it wasn't long before each had removed all their clothing. The moon had set high in the sky and the sun had set long ago leaving the scenery bathed in the light of the stars and moon. Ren admired his Koi for a minute stroking his hand over Horos cheek examining it like he'd done a hundred times before. Ren delicately worked Horos legs apart from under him but didn't do anything else just kissed Horo hard before grasping Horos member in his hand touching it softly torturing Horo who just wanted release. Ren played around a little more softly biting Horos lower lip and softly working his kisses south. Ren covered Horos nipple with his mouth sucking hard a few times getting appreciative noises from Horo who had shut his eyes tight trying to endure the tease.

Ren made it all the way down making Horo shiver as his hot breathes blew over the tope of Horos shaft. Ren kissed the top before then taking it in but not completely just enough to make Horo moan out loudly. Ren smiled to himself liking the switch in role. Ren savoured the sweet tastes of his Ainu as his lips slid over the skin increasing in motion. Ren did all this painfully slow driving Horo to the brink of insanity. Ren slowly pulled his mouth away licking his lips and staring up at Horo who groaned with disappointment breathing in deeply with sweet glistening. Ren had a light touch surprisingly for such an angry and violent person. Ren slowly crawled back up to face Horo eye-to-eye smiling at the tired look of need.

**It's torture to let you stay free  
****To think you might fly away  
****To never to be in my arms  
****To never stay**

Ren decided to end Horos tortured body and mind working his hand down and laying Horo with his legs open. Horo couldn't take the suspense, he had no idea what this felt like and after seeing Ren limp after being the Uke for the first time he got nervous. Ren kissed Horo deeply before then inserting a finger at a time with Horo making an unexpected yelp into the kiss amazingly with out breaking it. Horos eyes watered with the slight burn of the movements but felt great relief when they were removed. His relief soon turned into panic and pain when he felt Ren slip in inch by inch. He knew it would hurt but he didn't know it hurt that much. He bit his lip cutting it slightly turning his head away and mustered up his words shakily

"Shit… you w-weren't joking when you said it hurt" Horo tried to joke sounding on the verge of tears but holding strong for the most part. Ren leaned in soothingly making circles in smooth motions with his hand on Horos skin. He traced his hand up to Horos face to wipe the underlining of wet tears under his eyes. Horo felt the pain slightly subside but still couldn't shake how much it hurt tensing up into a rigid state.

"It's alright your in safe hands" Ren said in an assuring manner kissing Horos forehead letting Horo adjust a minute. Horo still felt like screaming to high heaven but decided if Ren could bare it so could he

"You can move now" Horo said through clenched teeth. Ren was sceptic so kissed Horo deeply to relax him playing tag with the Ainu before moving out then back in with one solid thrust getting a small cry muffled into the kiss from Horo. Ren slowly began to build a pace in hopes Horo would relax into it but Horo only tensed further. Horo felt like his muscles were being torn apart with every movement but kept silent about it but he couldn't hide the pain on his face. Ren knew he needed to loosen Horo up or this was just going to be constantly agonising.

"Horo relax" Ren cooed into his ear pulling him closer, Horo calmed little by little finding that once his muscles relaxed the sting lost its edge and the pain died down. Ren felt Horo loosen up so began to move again, he thrust in regaining the pace just to get Horo into it. Horo moved along with him instantly feeling a shockwave through his body with every thrust. He gasped as Ren got quicker sending pulses of pleasure through every fibre of his body. Horo just wanted him to go deeper closing his eyes and thrusting himself at Ren harder heightening the sensations and thrills. Horo couldn't contain his little noises as Ren made love to him. Both were gasping with racing hearts, the speed doubled and sweat trickled down them both. Ren being flexible could work himself into a good position while Horo gripped his arms tightly locked around his body fingernails digging into him slightly as he tried to contain himself. Both were edging towards climax when Horo screamed out Rens name reaching the point of no return and releasing with Ren who gasped for air lying ungainly over Horo in the sticky mess they had both made.

**Each second with you I hold  
****You so tender and mild  
****That I want to claim  
****Capture you so free and wild**

Horo still couldn't catch his breath he felt something completely new, it was painful at first but worth it at the end. He didn't know Ren could do that, reach down that deep making him feel incredible all over. Ren rolled off and cuddled up to Horo with his nose rubbing against Horos cheek. Horo took in big deep breaths

"Ren… that was amazing… but… don't think your going to be the Seme too often" Horo side with a smile, Ren smiled back but kept quiet deciding it wasn't worth voicing up over. Ren knew now this was about the best relationship you could have, both partners equal in everything not just one lead the other follow or one more important than the other. This was down the middle. This was almost the perfect deal… just one last thing to make it perfection was needed. Ren was nearly asleep when Horo shook his shoulder forcing him to open his eyes and pay attention to his Ainu.

"We cant lay here naked all night you know" Horo said with a smirk, Ren blushed and sat up grabbing his garments of clothing from next to him and threw Horo his before giving a more stern look to his Ainu

"I knew that" Ren didn't feel the need to start an argument feeling to tired to do so and worse was it wasn't exactly a short walk back either. Horo stood up putting his clothes back on along with Ren as soon as he had got all the grass off his back. They began to walk home with Horo walking a little oddly feeling as uncomfortable as hell. Ren smirked at Horo knowing he'd have a limp later once he had a sleep. It was the same for him and boy did he limp, Horo gave Ren a dirty look for the smirk but this only made Ren stifle his laughter just wanting to taunt Horo so badly. They paced themselves for the long journey having a rest on a bench on the way back with Rens sitting and Horo laying on his side and his head in Rens lap… there was no way he could sit down right then. Eventually they reached Funbari Inn casually walking up to the door at 2am and unlocking it trying to sneak in only to be stopped as someone flicked on a light. Anna was sat in the chair with Yoh sat on the arm peeling an orange.

"Busted" Yoh said in a mock tone smiling broadly. Ren crossed his arms and glared at the two while Horo stood looking sheepishly at Anna thinking they were in for it

"What possessed you to think you could wander into my house at all hours?" Anna asked coolly and evilly, in the kind of tone your parents use to show disappointment and extreme agitation

"Well you see…" Horo started but was cut off abruptly by Rens sharp voice

"We don't need to explain ourselves Horo" Ren turned to walk off

"Don't you dare walk away from me Tao Ren!" Anna shouted loud enough to halt him but not to wake everyone else in the Inn up

"Sorry Anna it won't happen again" Horo said shyly

"Your right Horo, it wont" Anna stood to leave walking past Ren giving him a dangerous look before heading up stairs. Yoh walked over to Horo and picked a twig out of Horos hair smirking assertively

"Soooooo, what have you two been up to?"

"N-nothing" Ren said quickly turning pink and having to face another direction to avoid the giddy smirk Yoh had

"Horo, why do you have grass in your hair?" Yoh asked casually still keeping his amused smile

"I-I was… just laying down in the grass, nothing else" Horo said smiling trying to convince Yoh of his innocence not really caring if Yoh knew or not but he wasn't going to admit it

"Sure you were" Yoh said playfully nudging Horo with his elbow and winking emphasising he was winking by saying "wink, wink" out loud. Ren gritted his teeth growling lowly with by now rosy red cheeks as Yoh made his way upstairs looking back to wink at Ren to add to the already pissed off Chinese mans anger. Horo walked by Ren taking hold of his hand taking him upstairs and into the shower.

**I want my way  
****And I will do anything to have it  
****But I love you too much to force you  
****So I'll ask you what you see fit**

Horo removed his clothes slowly not liking to bend down feeling sore already. He didn't know how Ren put up with this but Horo guessed that it got easier after the first time because Ren didn't limp at all after the second or third time they had… intercourse. Ren sympathised watching Horo move around awkwardly. After Horo had somehow managed to get undressed with out bending down or making sudden movements they climbed into the shower washing away the grass twigs and other products of their love making cuddling under the stream of water for a few minutes after tiredly.

They both got out grabbing towels and drying off. Ren put on pyjama bottoms but Horo didn't think it was worth the pain to get his on so depends on Rens body heat to keep him warm through the night. Ren climbed in shifting the covers for Horo to climb in. It was amusing to watch him wince after sitting to get into bed. Horo could tell Ren was smiling at him probably loving every second, though Horo couldn't talk he wasn't exactly sympathetic with Ren. Horo felt achy and sore all over

"How do you stand it Ren?" Horo asked

"It got easier" Ren plainly stated

"Do you feel this sore after?" Horo asked again wondering whether Ren endured this every time

"No" Ren replied shifting some of Horos hair behind his ear away from Horos eyes. Horo smiled and kissed Ren briefly broadening his smile

"You were amazing though" Horo purred into his ear giggling at Rens blush and shy behaviour

**To hear you give yourself to me  
****To know I have your trust  
****Is something I need  
****And to keep it a must**

Horo rolled onto his side facing Ren cuddling into Ren and snuggling down.

Ren played with Horos fresh clean hair a little thinking a little more. He encircled Horo and decided keeping Horo awake a little longer wouldn't kill either of them. Ren nudged Horo until he heard Horo make a noise that was supposed to signify he was awake.

"Hmph?" Horo made a grumbled noise in the form of question

"Horo, you said I could keep you…" Ren trailed off at the end

"Yeah I did" Horo said waiting for the rest

"Well…" Ren began again pausing wanting to look Horo in the eye to say this part

"Well?" Horo waited for the answer shifting to look Ren in the face sleepily snuggling into the soft pillow

"I'm yours too" Ren spoke softly closing the gap

Ren?" Horo asked with a quirked eyebrow, Ren only leaned in closer sealing a small kiss before finishing with a faint smile

"I'm yours" kissed Horo again only more sweetly, playfully and seductively "You can keep me" Ren cuddled up into Horo tight hug and closed his eyes at ease with the world. This was all perfect, him and Horo sleeping close with Horo holding on the his Ren and Ren holding onto his Horo…

**I give myself away to  
****In my heart there's no question who  
****For you belong to me  
****And I belong to you…**

**Let me keep you…**

**And I'll let you keep me… **

**Don't get much mushier than that hope you enjoyed and sorry for slow updates hit a busy time so everything is moving very slow**

**Rock-On!**


	9. Once Was Blind

_**This poem is an experiment with alliteration and sibilance it's not impressive but it's not bad either… don't start pointing out the funky rhyme scheme… it's suppose to be that way**_

**Once Was Blind…**

Slowly the world became dark  
Sneakily blackness scorned its mark  
Surging its poison taking away my spark  
Seeking its prey like a shark

Calmly it moves my way  
Chaos ensues though it keeps me at bay  
Captured by blindness I'm lead astray  
Can't ever see the break of day

Night is constant nothing to see  
Nothing in this world for me  
Nagging voices wont let me be  
Noises are all that's left in the darkness I cant flee

Weary and tired no way for me to rest  
Waiting, hoping for the best  
Wondering is this a cruel joke in jest  
Weeping only constricts my chest

Fighting strong trying to win  
Forgetting the pain and putting on a grin  
Forsaken yet trying hard to reach with in  
Feeling my way around black sin

Hoping to see your face  
Hands cupped around your cheek fingers begin to trace  
Heavenly angel the dark tried to erase  
Has not gone but is here in my embrace

Remember I can survive  
Reserve you energy and stop your strive  
Rejoice the fact we are both alive  
Ren your touch helped me revive…

Horo sat on the end of the bed rubbing his sore eyes after just getting up, he looked around the room and everything was dim and dismal. Even though the light shone through the curtains everything still looked shaded and blurry. Horo had been waking up with a headache for weeks now but it usually went on its own after a little while. Ren had already got up and got changed leaving Horo to sleep in. Horo rose up and got changed to meet Ren down stairs. Horo sat at the table next to Ren with everyone eating breakfast. Horo collected his food onto his plate and was about to eat when Ren pointed out something odd.

"Horo, why are you wearing odd socks?" Ren asked in slight amusement

"What?" Horo looked down at his socks and saw no difference in the two "I am not" Horo said narrowing his eyes thinking Ren was trying to play a joke on him

"Yes you are, that sock is white and that one is light yellow" Ren said agitated by Horos reply. Horo looked back down at his socks clearly seeing they were both white.

"They're both white" Horo said starting to eat his breakfast

"Horo, one is clearly yellow!" Ren said pointing to his left foot

"What ever" Horo said thinking Ren was trying too hard to make his joke work

"Horo, you are wearing odd socks!" Ren said more sternly

"Sure" Horo said not caring anymore and digging into breakfast again. Ren gave him an odd look and dropped it thinking Horo must either not be awake or colour blind.

Later that day Horo was sat outside lying in the sun when Ren came and joined him. Ren noticed Horo staring up blankly at the sky thinking him an idiot because it looked like he was almost staring directly at the sun and on a bright day like today.

"Baka don't stare up at the sun like that" Ren instructed Horo leaning over Horo blocking the sun from his eyes. Horo just gave him an odd look

"Ren, its not that bright I doubt it will blind me" Horo replied receiving a dirty look from Ren who kept silent in his own thoughts lying down next to Horo thinking of how Horo could say that on the brightest day all summer. If that wasn't strange it got worse over the next couple of days…

Horo found it very blurry when he woke up not being able to see an inch in front of his nose for hours until it cleared up. His eyes couldn't adjust to dark and light to well so when he walked from a dark room to a light room everything seemed too bright for a while after. More time passed and everything was constantly blurred and smudged. He literally couldn't read anything unless it had giant font. Horo started to suspect something but didn't want to voice out about it. He didn't realise it could have been something bad he just thought it was unnecessary worry. He saw flashes of colours and sometimes saw no colours. He didn't know what was wrong but hoped it would pass. One day Yoh and Ren noticed something strange when Horo was staring at the TV squinting to try see and eventually giving up and sitting staring blankly at the wall. Ren sat one side and Yoh sat close by the other side of Horo. Ren saw Horo staring at nothing waved the remote to the side of him to say he cold change over the channel getting no response so he moved it closer to Horo still Horo didn't seem to notice. Yoh started pulling faces to his right smiling but soon stopping when he got glares from Ren. Ren moved his head around slowly to see when Horo would notice but it wasn't until he was directly facing Horo he got noticed.

"What are you doing Ren?" Horo asked staring impassively in Rens direction

"Nothing" Ren said moving back to think about what just happened "are you alright Horo?" Ren asked eyeing Horo who didn't pay much attention

"I'm fine" Horo said flatly pretending to watch the TV with an unconvinced Ren keeping an eye on him as Yoh carried on being an idiot trying to get away with things to the side of Horo (That is to show lack of side site which means he could only see something if it was directly in front of him if you didn't pick that up)

Things got worse quick as Horo found it hard to see any object with out squinting at it no matter what distance it was from him.

**Slowly the world became dark  
****Sneakily blackness scorned its mark  
****Surging its poison taking away my spark  
****Seeking its prey like a shark**

One morning Ren rose looking at Horo and giving him a kiss on the forehead before climbing out of bed and getting changed. He left Horo to sleep in while he helped with breakfast knowing Yoh would only mess it up if left to tend to it on his own. Horo woke up about 5 minutes later rolling over and opening his eyes, he thought it must have been really late at night still because everything was in pitch black. He looked to the table not seeing the clocks glowing little light to say what time it was. He thought maybe Ren had unplugged it then tried to put on his bedside lamp. He flicked the switch but nothing happened. Now Horo was puzzled he decided to try the main light so he stood up and felt his way to the switch trying to turn on the lights but again nothing illuminated the darkness. Horo began to panic but written it off to a power cut or something tripping over a few things in his rush back to the bed. He tripped near the bedside table leaning on the clock and hearing something familiar. Pirika bought that clock for him while ago and when you pressed the button on the top…

"The time is 8:44am" the clock droned again and again as Horo pressed it wondering what was going on. The clock was on yet it didn't display anything, Horo in panic rushed to the window moving the curtain in a blind hurry seeing nothing still. He rushed over to his bed again sitting on it shaking the clock thinking maybe it was just broke. His eyes welled up trying to find out what was going on. He touched the bulb of the lamp that was warm showing it was on but he couldn't see it's light. Horo sat still on the bed blinking and rubbing his eyes before staring at where he held his hands in the air seeing nothing. He got scared wanting help from the one person he believed could

"Ren…" Horo lightly called out touching the side of the bed Ren usually is laid finding nothing so calling a little louder "Ren!" Nothing again Horos eyes were filled with tears. Horo in a fury of fear, panic and confusion screamed to the heavens "REN!"

Downstairs Ren was helping serve the food out when he heard the blood-curdling scream. He froze wide eyed hearing Horo scream his name out in that way, he rushed straight up the stairs with everyone else following hesitantly. Ren reached the door opening it and seeing Horo sat on the bed he went over to him standing looking over Horo

"What's wrong Horo?" Ren asked worriedly getting no answer as Horo stared inattentively out into the room looking around

"I-I… I" Horo stuttered trying to work out how to tell Ren. It wasn't easy he didn't even know were Ren was exactly making it more traumatic

"What is it?" Ren asked more worried seeing the look on Horos face. Yoh and Ryu were at the door with a crowd slowly building. Anna followed up with the rest heading to the room also.

"I-I can't see… I can't see Ren!" Horo blurted out a few tears falling in confusion and sorrow. Ren stood shocked looking at Horo seeing the blank look as Horo searched around for something not being able to find it. Ren touched Horo shoulder getting a flinch but Horo soon settled grabbing hold of Rens hand and squeezing it. Ren saw it was true wondering why they didn't see it coming. Ren hugged Horo who was trying desperately not to cry and be frightened by his blindness but couldn't help but let a few tears fall. Ren just held him really tight looking to the people stood at the door in shock signalling them to scram with a glare. Yoh closed the door as Pirika arrived on the scene after just climbing out the shower to see what the scream was about

-In The Hall-

"What's going on?" Pirika asked Yoh who stood in her way at the door looking grim

"Horo…. Said he can't see" Yoh said calmly

"What?" Pirika asked confused to what was going on with her brother

"We think Horo is… blind" Ryu said regretfully

"Oh dear god oniichan!" Pirika struggled to get by but Yoh kept her there

"Pirika I think its best you let Ren calm him down on his own" Ryu reasoned with Yoh nodding in agreement

"But... Oniichan" Pirika whispered looking at the door wondering what was going on

"Come on Pirika we can wait down stairs for them" Yoh lead her away as she worried for her brother in silence.

-Back In The Room-

"Ren what's going on?" Horo asked angry at what was going on now just feeling helpless

"I don't know" Ren answered tightening his grip "I just don't know" Ren repeated shaking his head. Horo still tried to stand strong but his sight was still gone and his eyes hurt like hell burning his sockets with a numb feeling. Ren looked at Horo eyes that we un-reactive to anything blood shot and teary.

"Horo, don't worry I'll help you…" Rens voice soothed and lulled Horo trusting that Ren would keep to his word…

**Calmly it moves my way  
****Chaos ensues though it keeps me at bay  
****Captured by blindness I'm lead astray  
****Can't ever see the break of day**

Ren got Horo to a doctor as quick as he could concerned for Horo who couldn't see anything at all and hadn't seen anything since he went to sleep closing his eyes not knowing that could be the last thing he ever saw. The doctors screened his eyes noticing the discolouration of his blood shot clouded eyes. The analysis finally came in late the next day. Ren and Horo arrived at the doctors Horo sitting on the table and Ren stood loyally at his side holding onto his hand so he knew he was there. Horo had fallen quiet and found it hard to fall asleep. His eyes were sore and constantly put him in agony every blink made his eyes catch fire and not only that he was nervous about what was wrong but wouldn't voice out his concerns or pain to Ren just stayed quiet. The doctor gave his news emotionlessly to the two.

"We got the results back… We thought we knew what was wrong but this case hasn't really been seen often. It's astigmatism but this type seems to be odd. The cause is usually misshapen eye's cornea or lens but yours seems to be completely off. Your experiencing complete blindness, we usually would perform surgery but the movement has damaged the lens and caused swelling we will have to perform a minor operation to take away the pain and stop further damage but you most likely will never see again" The doctor stated waiting for the reactions

"Never?" Horo asked timidly squeezing Rens hand and staring blankly at nothing

"No… I'm sorry" The doctor lowered his head and was about to walk out when Ren stopped him

"What do you mean? You can't fix it? You're a doctor it's your job!" Ren fumed glaring maliciously at the uselessness of the doctor

"We can't cure everyone all we can do is take away the pain and swelling… the rest is up to time and science" the doctor said grimly leaving the room with both shaman still in there. Ren gritted his teeth and squeezed back on Horos hand feeling outraged by what the doctor said. He turned to Horo who didn't move just sat in the darkness of blindness wanting to scream but lacking the will power to do so, he was crushed.

"Don't listen to him Horo, I will get you the best doctors they will fix this we will find a way" Rens rage filled words fell deaf in Horos head still repeating the words the doctor said "Horo!" Ren shouted trying to get Horos attention but still getting nothing "Horo, listen to me its not over!" Ren grabbed Horo shoulders and shook him slightly to get his attention

"Ren… what if it is?" Horo asked dismally. Rens heart broke, it literally shattered seeing Horo this way so quiet not able show his emotions with out the use of his eyes. It was eerie not seeing anything there just blood shot eyes filled with unknown agony misted up hiding the once dazzling blue under the hazy cover. Ren was about to comfort Horo with his words only to be cut off by the doctor returning with the nurses

"We can perform the surgery now if you'd please step this way" The doctor politely asked

"Your not touching him, I'm taking him to someone who knows how to fix this!" Ren spat at the approaching doctor

"I know your upset but this wont change the chances of him getting his sight back it will just take away the pain and prevent further damage, by all means take him to another doctor for a second opinion I encourage it but I highly suggest you stop any further pain this is causing now" the doctor said sternly with Ren glaring spitefully at him

"You better not screw this up or I'll see you live to regret it" Ren said softly and dangerously helping Horo off the table and letting the nurses lead him away.

"I assure you me and the other doctors will do our best" the doctor assured him bowing politely and leaving Ren to wait

Hours passed and Ren impatiently sat waiting for them to bring Horo back. The clock chimed for what seemed the hundredth time when Horo was walked back in with bandages covering his eyes.

"Horo?" Ren asked in worry for his Koi

"I'm fine Ren" Horo lied and Ren knew it but both just wanted to go home, Ren knew he could always confront it later right now he just grabbed Horos hand lacing their fingers and waiting to hear how it all went

"It went very well and those bandages are to stay on for 3 days before you can remove them. If you need the bandages changed bring him back to the hospital to do so because exposure to light could damage the eye and infection is a possibility. Do you understand?" The nurse asked sweetly handing a small bag containing a bottle of tablets

"Yes, but what are these for?" Ren asked holding up the bag

"They are to help him sleep and can help to prevent infections" She said with a smile "Take care now" She finished with an equally gentle goodbye

Once Ren got Horo home the atmosphere got thick with everyone wanting to know what's up especially Pirika who rushed over hugging Horo tightly.

"Oniichan, what did the doctors say? What did they do to your eyes?" Pirika questioned getting no answer from Horo "Oniichan?"

"The doctors said they cant do anything but take away the pain" Ren said solemnly before then tightening his hands into fists and narrowing his eyes "But I will get Horo real help"

"Oh oniichan" Pirika said tears forming in her eyes looking at the blank expression on Horo who didn't open his mouth to say a word. It pained Ren to look at Horo right now so he averted his gaze elsewhere while everyone else gaze sympathising glances not knowing what to say. Horo got tired of standing there feeling for the wall and trying to lead himself to the stairs. Pirika saw him trying to find his way to the stairs and automatically loving sister mode kicked in

"Oniichan let me help you" She said while trying to grab his arm

"No Pirika I need to do this on my own" Horo snapped grabbing the railing and leading himself up each step slowly making his way to the top. Ren followed knowing where he was going but everyone else feeling awkward just left to do anything as long as it was something. Ren reached the top and saw the bedroom door close he went to the door and was about to open it when he heard a bang

"Dammit!" Horo shouted throwing something at the wall. Ren opened the door to see Horo brush himself off and work his way to the bed "Who is it?" Horo asked sitting down on the end of the bed leaning on his knees with his elbows

"It's just me" Ren replied closing the door softly walking over and standing in front of Horo "Are you alright?" Ren asked with concern

"I'm fine, just tired" Horo sadly stated before laying down shifting over to face the wall curling up slightly, Horo felt the bed dip as Ren sat next to him

"If you want to talk about it I'm here" Ren assured Horo getting no answer as Horo tried to pretend to be asleep. Ren sighed laying down beside Horo curling up into Horos back fitting his shape hugging him securely from behind knowing Horo needed that comfort right now of someone protecting him just like Horo did with him when he needed it...After a minute Ren felt Horos body shake slightly and Ren knew Horo was crying under those bandages. Ren was never good with words of comfort that was always Horos department but what use could that be now. Ren climbed over the top of Horo lying on the other side hugging Horo allowing him to weep into his chest softly until he fell asleep

**Night is constant nothing to see  
****Nothing in this world for me  
****Nagging voices wont let me be  
****Noises are all that's left in the darkness I cant flee**

Three days passed and every doctor Ren could get tried to figure out a way all coming to the same conclusion. Each new doctor telling them its impossible and saying the same things. Finally Ren had ran out of doctors to call but didn't give up hope asking people to look for the best for him all saying there was none. Ren grimly sat by the phone wracking his brain while Horo sat on the sofa. His bandages were removed a week ago and he hadn't had much contact with everyone the odd conversation ending badly everyone to worried about saying the wrong things. Yoh talked about this cool new movie he saw then said to Horo he should go see it getting no reply from Horo and then Pirika brought up a play she wanted to see only to feel awkward talking about it. Anna being blunt always just spoke straight not concerned like the others to say the wrong thing, in fact at times Horo found her best to talk to being that she didn't pause to apologise every few sentences but sometimes she was to forward with him. Horo sat staring at the wall blankly with Yoh and Ryu peeking in from the other room whispering to each other

"It creeps me out" Yoh whispered to Ryu staring at Horo "His eyes don't move, they remind me of a horror movie I watched" Yoh finished turning away

"I must agree sometimes it is strange talking to him and he sits staring at you but not at you" Ryu responded keeping his voice hushed too. Anna had sat and listened to them rolling her eyes at them and rummaging through a few draws till she found what she was looking for. Horo sat still staring at nothing as usual until he felt something hit his arm. He inspected with his hands to see what it was only to find the shape of a pair of glasses. Horo picked them up inspecting them with his fingers

"Put those on, you creeping everyone out with your eyes" Anna openly said getting shocked stares from the two peering in

"Thanks" Horo grumbled not actually being grateful for that but not wanting to piss Anna off especially when he didn't know what direction he was running in or where she was coming from. Horo sighed leaning back into the chair placing the glasses on waiting for Ren to come back

"YOU ARE ALL USELESS!" Ren screamed and the phone was slammed down, Horo heard it from where he was and he knew it wasn't good. Ren came back in fuming and pacing. Horo knew all this because he could here Rens foot steps go back and forth in front of him and hear the grumbling of curses in Chinese leading from side to side.

"Anything?" Horo asked already knowing the answer but asking meant Ren would vent his frustration

"They are all useless telling me there is no one else! There has to be one competent doctor on this planet and I'm going to find them!" Ren vowed to himself before stopping and taking a deep breath looking at Horo "Where did you get those sunglasses?" Ren asked raising an eyebrow

"Anna, I guess I was creeping everyone out" Horo sighed leaning on the chair arm feeling alone in the constant darkness that engulfed his world, his love and his dreams. Nothing made sense anymore. He couldn't do anything but sit around stare at the lonely void. It wasn't easy everything disappeared waking up to nothing closing and opening your eyes to find blankness. Concepts on where things were and the space around you blurred not knowing if something is a mile away or an inch in front of your face, eyes emptied of emotion feeling and meaning. Horos key feature had become hollow and useless. Horo has thought long and hard about what he's going to miss. He wonders what Ren will look like in a few years and how everyone will change. Will be walking around with an escort the rest of his life or forget what everyone looks like. He feared not being able to picture Rens golden eyes looking into his blue lovingly or Remember Pirika smile and how sweet she could be or Yohs carefree grin making everyone believe he was there. He'd never see another smile, frown, laugh, emotion on a persons face or see the sky, loved ones, friends, earth or anything ever again. All he had was the memory of these things. Ren saw Horos expression change and his handgrip tight. Ren removed the sunglasses seeing Horos eyes water up as he thought about all the things he was going to miss. Ren not caring that people were looking sat straddling Horos legs hugging him close shushing him showing he was there even if he couldn't see. Ren hoped time would make this easier…

**Weary and tired no way for me to rest  
****Waiting, hoping for the best  
****Wondering is this a cruel joke in jest  
****Weeping only constricts my chest**

Horo had been blind for a few weeks and he had tired himself mourning now he just wanted to get out that prison of a house and go anywhere. Ren kept saying it was too early to wait a little longer but Horo had tired of that, feeling useless sulking sat on the bed waiting for Ren to come up with something to do. Ren was talking to someone on the phone about a guide dog and was taking forever. Horo had been given glasses and a stick to help guide him, Horo stood up feeling around for his stick and stubbornly going against Ren sneaking down the stairs quietly hoping no one saw him leave as he reached the door opening it and softly closing it. He was out the house now what. Horo extended his stick and tapped it on the floor getting a feel for it. He brushed it side to side feeling for edge of the path finding each side and following the direction of the path until the stick hit the curb. He followed the curb thinking if he followed the curb he could just go around the block once and get straight back piece of cake. He was sadly proven wrong. He followed the curb but walked into a lamppost turning a corner then having the keep a hand out in front to warn him of approaching poles slowing down trying to be careful.

-Back At The House-

Ren had finished on the phone and had gone back up to tell Horo only to find no one there. He looked around the entire house asking everyone and getting them to join the search. Ren was fuming and after determining he wasn't in the house knew Horo had stupidly gone off on his own out into the streets. Ren stormed out the house looking for Horo while everyone else searched the house and yard still.

-Back With Horo-

Horo had nearly been knocked over by a cyclist lost where the curb was briefly and took forever to find it again and to make matters worse when some very inconsiderate joggers ran by knocking him around in their hurry he lost which direction he was going in. He hadn't even walked to far and already he was completely lost. He walked in any direction hoping he would get lucky. Unfortunately the curb he thought he was following was a path leading into someone's backyard. The person who owned the house thought someone was trying to burgle her getting a blunt object or in other words grabbing a big umbrella and walking out shouting over to Horo to freeze. He did as he was told unmoving until he felt the umbrella contact with the back of his head.

"Hey! Ow! What was that for?" Horo asked rubbing the back of his head dropping his guiding stick, the woman immediately saw the stick and realised she just whacked a blind man.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry I didn't know. I thought you were a robber or something" she quickly picked up his stick placing it in his hand and bowing

"Why would you think that?" Horo asked clueless to where he was

"Well, you seem to be wandering around my garden" She pointed out

"What! Oh hell no I thought I was following the side of the path…. Dam joggers!" Horo cursed feeling embarrassed and frustrated at being lost in a place he had lived in for so long

"Are you lost?" she asked voice full of sympathy

"A little" Horo admitted with a sigh regretting leaving the house especially on his own

"I'll help if you tell me where you're going" she offered kindly

"I need to get back to Funbari Inn, do you know where that is?" Horo asked feeling stupid needing help back to his own home

"Yes, I believe it's just around the corner and down the road" she gave a smile and gently hooked onto his arm leading him down her path

"Thanks" Horo said smiling graciously

"No problem, after all I did kind of assault you" she blushed feeling like an idiot herself not seeing it was a lost blind man. She lead him out onto the pavement and around the corner, Ren who was also coming around the corner saw Horo and immediately started to question

"Horo! What the hell are you doing?" Ren spat getting a confused look off the woman and getting a nervous smile from Horo who was scared witless suddenly hearing Ren out the darkness shout his name

"Uh? Well you see I… I decided to take a little… walk… by myself" Horo slowly admitted sensing glaring eyes on him making him a little shifty and nervous

"Do you know this man?" the woman asked Horo

"Yes, thanks, I think I can make it from here" Horo said noting that she had let go of his arm and heard her footsteps disappear behind him

"You didn't answer me Horokeu Usui!" Ren using Horos full name to signify the height of his agitation

"I'm sorry" Horo sighed "I just got sick of sitting around not being able to do anything. I thought I could get around the block but then I walked into a lamp post got knocked by a cyclist and a couple of joggers then wandered into some ladies garden… I guess it wasn't as easy as I thought" Horo admitted feeling the fool again. Ren sympathised hooking Horos arm

"Come on, we can call off the search party" Ren lead Horo back home relieving everyone. Horo apologised and went back up stairs sitting on the bed again doing nothing. It got late and everyone headed to bed early. Ren lead Horo upstairs after dinner and locked the door getting changed ready into nightclothes settling down. Horo found his way to the bed eventually lifting the covers and climbing in snuggling down looking very cuddly. Ren looked at Horo for a change looking peaceful and not scared frustrated or emotionless. Ren kissed Horo as a good night stirring Horo who opened his eyes and let the feel of Rens lips linger and tingle with warmth. Horo liked the affection Ren gave bringing his hand up to Rens face cupping the cheek and moving his fingers over the skin until he found Rens lips leaning in to where his fingers were leading and kissing Ren softly at first then licking Rens lips for access. Ren allowed entry-letting Horo get the feel for his mouth. Horo closed his eyes savouring the tastes and feels knowing this was all he had left the sounds of Rens swoon and the feel of warmth and that amazing taste that left your mouth watering.

Horo not quite satisfied worked his hands over Ren in an attempt to create an image with his touch structuring the image of Rens chest as his hand glided up his torso and building to that adding in the well toned muscles of his stomach as his hand travelled down exploring over mapping out everything. His other hand worked around to the back tracing along the spine then to Rens side. Ren shivered as Horos pressed hard against his lips and his hands wandered over everything taking in all they touched. Ren squeezed Horos waist as Horo hands traced down the scar left along his upper body while protecting Horo. Horo noted the scar to memory and then traced around to find other features stroking along Rens strong arms at the same time leading down to his hips pulling him closer. Ren and Horo broke in their long kiss and Horos hands rested back still on Rens chest, Ren looked into Horos eyes feeling disappointed once more as Horos eyes had no emotion looking right through Ren. Ren cuddled his head under Horos chin breaking sight of the cold icy eyes that had replaced the warm breezy blue. Horo closed his eyes feeling almost ashamed, he couldn't see but he could tell when Ren felt uneasy by his movements. He could feel when Ren stared at him and knew his eyes weren't the same making people feel uncomfortable looking at them or them looking at you. Horo fell into a steady sleep with Ren praying for some sort of miracle to give him back his eyes.

**Fighting strong trying to win  
****Forgetting the pain and putting on a grin  
****Forsaken yet trying hard to reach with in  
****Feeling my way around black sin**

A little time had passed and Horo had worked hard trying to learn how to cope wit his new lifestyle put on a smile fake all is happy in his life. He's fooled the few Ryu, Chocolove, Tamao, Pirika and sometimes Yoh even believed he was happy with the way things had turned out. Ren knew better and Anna seemed to always know another's misery. Ren tried to get Horo to talk about it but Horo just drifted from subject. Horo wandered off in attempts for independence or insisted on doing things on his own just wanting to feel capable. He helped with the shopping, picked out his own clothes, walked around the neighbourhood in areas he knew and eventually could walk around the house practically with out feeling around with his "1 STEP 2 STEP" routine. Basically he counted his steps like what dancers do to try memorising his way around the house. Ren admittedly was impressed but unsure. Horo wanted to get off moving around free but Ren just wanted to keep him protected and help him with everything. The possessive and protective side of Ren reared its ugly head more often than wanted getting grumbles from Horo whenever Ren started on about needing help. This behaviour didn't go to well when matched against Horos determination.

One evening Pirika came home with tickets to see this play she had been dieing to see getting snapped at by Ren.

"What were you thinking exactly when you bought Horo a ticket to _see_ a play?" Ren asked in a very annoyed hushed tone

"Well I just counted everyone and forgot about it for a minute" Pirika answered feeling the fool

"Well next time think before wasting your money on something like that" Ren barked unkindly. He didn't realise Horo was listening from the doorway

"It's okay Ren, I don't mind" Horo said lightly leaning against the doorframe "I'll stay here and find something to do, you go" Horo said with a small smile of encouragement

"No, Horo I'm not leaving you here by yourself" Ren said folding his arm and glaring over at Pirika for a moment

"Okay then I'll go with you" Horo said with a smirk

"Horo… she bought tickets to go watch a play" Ren said sounding down about having to give that kind of reminder

"I always fall asleep anyway, blind or not I'm usually out for those things" Horo joked trying to make Ren more comfortable going with him knowing he couldn't watch it

"Horo…" Ren sighed in defeat knowing if he continued he'd say something wrong feeling guilty like usual

"Ren are you pouting or just sulking?" Horo asked knowing that Ren would be doing one of the two right now. He smiled after hearing nothing knowing he was right but the smile was soon wiped from his face as a pillow struck his head "Hey! I didn't see that coming, no fair" Horo now stood with a fake pout until he felt a breezy touch of Rens lips against his briefly making him smile again

"You didn't see that coming either" Ren retorted. Horo brought his hand up until he felt Rens hand grab his leading him to his face so he could cup it and lean in to kiss Ren only to be stopped inches away by Pirikas voice

"Hahum, if you want to start doing stuff take it upstairs" Pirika pointed out mainly in jest

"Good idea sis, come on Ren" Horo said smirking pulling at Rens arm who by now was blushing deep red at Horos behaviour and Pirikas face that displayed utter shock. Horo laughed around the corner getting a thump from Ren. Horo rubbed the spot and then lead his arm back up to Rens face to continue where he left off. Horo pressed his lips to Rens for a moment before pulling away. Horo let his smile fade to a content look as Ren lead him off probably to find something to do.

-Night of the Play-

Everyone quickly got ready and went out to see Romeo and Juliet as performed by some big company famous for their productions. Pirika couldn't stop quoting Shakespeare and being corrected by Ren who being an A student in English literature could recite half of that play to you from memory and knew a little more about Shakespeare than she did. They all headed in standing in line for the play with everyone talking and joking

"To pee or not to pee?" Yoh asked trying to fake a strong English accent

"Yoh, we are about to see a work of art by a famous scholar and poet… I don't think anyone was impressed by your display do you?" Anna gave a harsh judgement to Yohs prattle sending him spiralling down from chirpy happy mode to a slump. They handed in the tickets one by one with Ren handing in his ticket and Horos ticket for him. Rens eyes looked as if they were about to jump out and attack the man collecting the tickets who was giving odd looks as Ren escorted a blind man into the theatre, the man quickly moved his eyes somewhere else after the look he got from Ren in return for his gawking. They got to the seats fine and they were pretty good seats considering how late Pirika bought the tickets. They were placed near the middle, 4th row with everyone comfortably lined from the one isle way to the next. Horo kept to his word about act 3 into the play he had his head on Rens shoulder asleep but thankfully he was quietly napping… Ren was used to the light snoring but he doubted everyone else would have appreciated it. After intimation Horo woke up to fill up on snacks not being able to sleep knowing they were fighting listening to the swords clatter and someone die. Horo not being the great literature lover or follower understood only the kill part of Tybalt's speech before finally hearing the scream of someone dieing… Horo had heard it was Romeos friend and Tybalt some relation of the chick (Horos little description of Juliet) and now someone had died. Horo leaned over whispering as quiet as he could to Ren

"Who won?" Horo whispered waiting for a reply

"Tybalt killed Mercutio" Ren then watched as Romeo stabbed Tybalt "So Romeo has just stabbed Tybalt" Ren flatly stated before setting all his concentration back onto what was happening. Horo leaned back in his seat and listened to the people talk hearing Romeo declare his love over and over. Horo listened in awe at the death scene listening to each say their last words only to kill themselves in the last scene, he knew of their death by the families telling each other how it was their fault the 2 lovers died. The play ended everyone clapped and cheered in different ways some quietly some loud and in Yohs case… well he was pretty much the only person screaming "YOU ROCK!"

Pirika wanted to stay and check out when they were showing it again Anna wanted to drag Yoh home to show him what it means to show her up in public, no one thought that was a good thing. One by one everyone left and the 2 lovers were left by themselves so decided to go for a walk around. It wasn't too late and had only just settled in dark. The first thing Horo wanted was food so they set about going some place to eat. After settling in a corner café Horo and Ren ordered a light dinner and waited for it to arrive. Horo got bored wondering why dinner was taking so long. He decided to entertain himself slightly, Horo leaned on his hands for a while sighing after a short time. Horo soon thought of what he would like to do smiling slightly and finding Rens hand that was resting on the table too. Horo lead up from Rens hand going up to his shoulder and eventually Rens cheek. Horo turned his body to face Ren and leaned in kissing Ren who didn't expect it. Horo got a little more explorative getting halted by Ren

"Horo!" Ren stopped Horo as people were staring "people are staring at us" Ren lowered Horos hands only to have Horo pull closer with a huge smile

"I don't see anyone staring" Horo threw back at Ren. Ren sat wide eyed not wanting to say anything knowing Horo had got him again

"You are really pushing it you know" Ren said with narrowed eyes facing away from Horo. Horo lead his hand back up to Ren face and turned it back towards him

"I know" was Horos plain reply before covering Rens lips with his own again coaxing Ren into kissing back until suddenly

"Hahum your food" the waitress said waiting until the two finally separated Horo smiling sheepishly not knowing how long she had been stood waiting and Ren blushed turning away again not making eye contact with the waitress as she set down the plates. Horo and Ren finished eating with minimal; fuss but the place seemed strangely quiet… wonder why? Ren took Horo for a little walk down the park resting on a bench for a while, as they sat Horo told of all the best lines in the play. Ren filled in the blanks.

"That Mercutio shouldn't have died, I liked him" Horo stated leaning back into the bench

"Well just because you liked him doesn't mean they are going to change one of the most famous plays in the world to suit you" Ren mocked shoving his hands in his pockets

"Why not?" Horo asked genuinely wondering why they couldn't be nice and just let Mercutio live

"Because that's how Shakespeare wrote it" Ren rolled his eyes knowing Horo would most likely not see the point

"Well he did do a good job writing it I guess, I liked the part where Mercutio shouts 'I am hurt, a plague o' both your houses! I am speed. Is he gone, and hath nothing?'" Horo quoted wrongly

"'I am sped' not 'I am speed' baka" Ren corrected wondering how Horo could make a mistake as small and stupid

"What did Mercutio mean by that anyway?" Horo questioned

"In words you may understand, he basically said 'Ouch, that hurt. What the hell, you let him get away you ass'" Ren said in a monotone voice

"Really? Well why didn't he just say that?" Horo said with that clueless look on his face that Ren loved sometimes. Ren decided not to answer that question knowing it meant trouble and Horo got the message pretty quick that he wasn't going to get an answer so got Rens arm put it around his neck and snuggled down into Ren who shifted to allow him to cuddle up.

"I'm glad Romeo killed Tybalt… that dude sucked"

"He's no worse than the others" Ren defined

"How so?" Horo asked with a raised eyebrow

"He had too much honour, he hated the Montague's just as much as they hated him and the Capulet's. He thought it an act of insult for Romeo to crash the party" Ren analysed

"How do you know so much about it?" Horo questioned with a smile

"Didn't you learn anything in school?" Ren retorted

"Not about all that stuff, we learned about all the goop you know how tragic love can be and how Romeo could sweet talk Juliet" Horo explained

"Romeo hardly sweet talked her" Ren pointed out

"Oh really, then explain the beginning" Horo pushed himself up wrapping his arms around Rens chest

"Explain what part?" Ren asked taking to the challenge

"'Then move not while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purged'" Horo again quoted but getting it correct this time leaning up and kissing Ren gently. Ren sank into it and kissed back for a minute until Horo separated himself smiling and waiting for Ren to try answer back after that.

"Okay so maybe he did use cheap pick up lines" Ren gave in accepting defeat in his analysis

"So I was right?" Horo mockingly asked

"No, he didn't sweet talk her he stuck his tongue down her throat"

"I have more if you think you're so smart" Horo tightened his grip around Ren challenging his knowledge

"Fine, prove your theory" Ren challenged back

"'Has my heart loved 'till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw a true beauty 'till this night'" Horo directed the comment at Ren shifting from his place on the bench into Rens lap directly facing Ren as he gave his finishing argument "now you cant tell me Romeo wasn't a sweet talker

"I think its you that's trying to sweet talk" Ren shifted to get closer to the Ainu in his lap

"What me?" Horo asked in a fake offended tone. Ren saw the smirk forever placed on Horos face wanting to remove it from the smug Ainus face. Ren knew of only one way to do that so leaned in and slowly teased Horo with light kisses getting a little longer each time soon Horo demanded entrance to Rens mouth using his tongue to slip Rens lips apart gently. Ren gave him so much but stopped abruptly in a teasing taunting way. Horo obviously caught on no longer smirking but thinking of how he could get a little more. The corners of his mouth slowly curved up as Romeos lines once again came to mind

"'O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?'" Horo smiled further

"'What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?'" Ren added on saying Juliet's line surprisingly making Horo only beam more broadly

"'The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine'" Horo quoted from Rens line some more

"I'm impressed Horo, you actually listened" Ren retorted though genuinely surprised after all Horo did sleep through a lot of the play

"I needed something to do while I wasn't sleeping" Horo cuddled up to Ren shifting so he could bury himself into Rens chest sitting to the side of Ren now. Peace had finally settled over the two but the cold got to them. Ren shivered and Horo too admittedly was no better off feeling chilled for some strange reason. Ren stepped up from the bench slowly.

"I'll get us a hot drink" Ren let go of Horos hand backing up slowly "I'll be right back" Ren then disappeared off with his footsteps fading until Horo couldn't hear them anymore. He sat for a few minutes when he heard the shuffling of footsteps again only there was more than 1 set. There were several and all approached quite quickly

**Hoping to see your face  
****Hands cupped around your cheek fingers begin to trace  
****Heavenly angel the dark tried to erase  
****Has not gone but is here in my embrace**

Horo listened as the footsteps stopped right in front of him and shuffling was heard

"Ren?" Horo asked doubting it was Ren as they all sounded like heavy people shuffling along most likely male.

"Wrong blue dude" a voice spoke out of the darkness-sounding course and ruff

"What do you want?" Horo asked not moving his head at all

"Holy shit, that mans blind Jovi" another livelier fellow spoke out

"Poor little blind man, you know your sat on my bench but I think I'll let you off… if you're a good little boy and don't scream" the Jovi character spoke dangerously making Horo nervous with each passing word "such a cute thing maybe you can scream a little its more feminine" Horo felt sickened by the nerve of this man and the suggestions he made. Horo felt for his stick that was right next to him only for it to be kicked away when he found it. Horo felt a lump build in his throat as he backed up to the end of the bench hearing the shuffles of several people in the blackness that was now his life. Horo felt an arm touch him trying to secure him making his body react and his body lash up and back off only to hit a dustbin. He stumbled back regaining his step trying to hear where these people were coming from. He could hear them shuffle and surround him like they would an animal. Horo tried to determine how many not having any success but knowing there was definitely more than 3 or 4 there. Horo got into a good stance placing himself in position hoping for the best preparing to do what he could with what he had.

Jovi was the first to approach trying to knock Horo over and pin him being evaded by the desperate Ainu only to have a blow to the back of the head and a few knocks by several other targets he couldn't see. He knew they were for now being gentle with him knowing he was handicapped. Horo got mad thinking of how helpless he was and how they were trying to take advantage of that, he wanted to prove he is not weak. Horo in some form of an attempt swung at anything he heard come near landing a few hits even if they were weak hits. The group got rougher now punching kneeing and trying to stop the struggle Horo made.

Ren started walking back only to hear a scuffle quickening his pace until he saw Horo stood in the middle of a gang that seemed to be tormenting him. Ren dropped the drinks and rushed over to help. Horo knocked one of them down as he heard him approach but another sneaked up behind him taking a knife to his throat and threatening to cut his skin if he moved. Horo froze for a minute before elbowing the person twisting the knife out of his hands and using it to warn off the rest. Few took notice with one latching onto Horos back and another trying to grab him from the front only to have his arm slashed open by the knife Horo was holding. The one on his back backed off as Horo twisted his arm off from around his neck kneeing him in the face abruptly. Ren saw one of them trying to sneak up on Horo; he clearly counted almost 10 gang members so quickly set about eliminating a few. The sight sickened Ren when he first saw it sending a few to torment Horo while the rest watched in amusement. The second Ren came into play the others stopped watching and joined the party. Ren disabled 2 quickly breaking the arm of one and winding another with a very sharp jab to his stomach. Ren cursed Pirika for a moment; he could have had them all running by now if she let him bring his kwan-doa.

It was now 5 surrounding Ren keeping him in place while the larger one and a straggly lackey began trying to unarm Horo. The big one was quicker than you would of thought but Horo kept his ground lashing out at everything that came near. He heard a scuffle to his side but in his panic didn't think anything of it trying to focus on staying alive at this point. Ren saw Horo was in trouble as the larger man toyed with Horo, smirking with every passing second making Horo more frustrated and worried. Ren soon had each of the 5 to the ground rushing as the taller man loomed over Horo, the man saw Ren running towards him smiling waiting for his moment. Ren was about to land a punch to his back when he moved abruptly Ren stopping just in front of Horo wide eyed as he felt pain shoot through his chest. Rens eyes went cold and unmoving with pupil's small and breathing halted. Ren shakily moved his hand up to his chest feeling the soft torn up flesh that oozed out blood at an alarming rate. Rens face went pained and he grasped the hand that still held the blade embedded in his chest

"Horo?" Ren whispered quietly. Horo heard the familiar voice shaking and letting go of the knife bringing his hand to the persons face feeling over the skin knowing all to well who's face it was, the smooth cool skin and shape of the face was something he knew by heart.

"Ren…" Horo whispered upset with coursing guilt at what he had just done. Ren gripped Horos shirt trying to stay up as every heartbeat sent a new and larger pain through his body. Ren slowly slipped down Horo leaving a trail of blood all the way down Horo as he fell to his knees. Horo soon fell down to the ground too feeling tears leave his eyes, as his love was lost in the darkness dieing because of him. Horo was to sorrowful and his heart ached with guilt. He heard the people gathering themselves so he wrapped around Ren protectively only hearing laughs in the blackness around him as tears fell from his motionless eyes. He listened as they began to talk cruelly.

"Look at the weak dirty Ainu"" one familiar voice spoke out, too familiar to Horo as his mouth opened in shock trying to remember those words and that voice

"Yeah, weak as ever" the big guy chuckled "I'd love to watch your friend die in your arms Ainu but I got better things to do"

"Yeah, you tree hugging loosers aren't worth the time and effort" the lackey called out laughing at Horo as his face twisted in anger with tears falling harder. He knew a few of those voices but couldn't point it out

"Come on boys, party's over looks like we broke another playmate" the big guy taunted

"Sure thing Raidon" the lackey called out. Horos eyes shot open wide and shocked. That name, he knew where it was from and knew what that bastard had done to him before. First he tried to kill him then he tried to use him as a toy, now Ren was bleeding to death right in front of him. Horo grabbed Ren tugging him to his feet. Ren was still conscious for the most part. Horo dragged shouting and screaming his lungs out for help not caring how pathetic he looked or who helped as long as Ren pulled through. Horo could feel Ren getting colder and it scared him. Ren hadn't really spoke or moved much only slightly shuffled with Horo as he was pulled along knife still embedded in his chest blood still dripping trailing along leading back to the spot the gang attacked them. Horo was too worried at that point in time to think about if the gang would come back to finish him off just hoped Ren would live. Soon out of the distant blackness a voice was heard and a few people running towards them. Horo recognised none of their voices but explained his case getting help. It didn't take long for an ambulance siren to be heard zooming to the area halting nearby. Paramedics took Ren from Horos arms with a little struggle from each, Horo not wanting to let go of Ren not knowing how he could find him again in the darkness and Ren didn't want to leave Horo with him being blind and worried. The paramedics put Ren on a stretcher and helped Horo into the ambulance too. Horo held Rens hand as Ren drifted unconscious from blood loss…

They arrived at the hospital being rushed in with Horo not once letting go of Ren hand all the way in and even when they transferred Ren to a operation table he still didn't let go. The nurses tried to remove him from his side and only just getting him to let go after lots of reasoning Horo stood by the door while they attached monitors and covered Rens chest. Horo sneaked back into the room but the nurses ignored his presence letting him stay. They worked slowly trying to remove the knife but it got complicated. They didn't realise where the knife had struck and once they removed it the blood rushed out. Doctors worked to stop it trying to seal off the area where the blood was flowing. Just then the heart monitor flat lined ringing a deathly shrill tone signalling that Rens heart had stopped. Horo began to panic trying to get to Ren

"Ren!" Horo struggled against 2 male nurses and a male doctor desperate to get to his Koi "REN! Don't go!" Horos eyes filled up with tears that fell to the ground as his head shook in the struggle. He could hear the doctor shout "clear" as they shocked Rens heart once… the shrill tone still rang… twice… nothing but the flat line sounded… third time was when Horo felt like giving up falling to his knees thinking of how he could be so stupid and kill the one person he ever truly loved. He sobbed as they again tried to bring back to life his Koi, Horo prayed swearing everything he had just for Ren back. Someone up there must like him because soon a steady beep sound came out the darkness telling him he had reason to live because Ren was alive. Horo breathed in and out deeply relieved as the doctors worked informing him of the completion. They covered Ren over with a blanket putting him in intensive care, the doctors told Horo news he really didn't like. Since then Horo sat emotionlessly next to Ren holding his hand refusing to let go

"I'm so sorry Ren, it's all my fault. I did this to you when you tried to help me… it's because I cant help myself and you got hurt trying to do what I couldn't do myself" Horo lowered his head in shame with dry eyes. You see after they did that operation he often found his eyes would dry up and because of all the crying he had literally cried till he couldn't anymore shedding the last few drops his eyes could make. It had been 3 hours of nothing just letting Ren rest; Horo wondered when he should call the others but didn't want to have to explain that a gang attacked him and Ren tried to help he stabbed him in the heart. The blade had just nicked Rens heart that's why when they tried to remove it blood began to pour like his chest had exploded. Horo didn't move just slumped back in his chair, he lost his glasses in the scuffle so now his hazy blue eyes just stared over the room passively unwavering not blinking or shifting just cold glass like orbs floating around in tired sockets. Horo was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't seem to sense a pair of eyes open and a head turn to him. Ren looked at the dry riled look on Horos face no doubt hating himself right now looking self loathing as Horo gripped his own hair leaning against the arm squeezing Rens hand just so he knew where Ren was at all times. Horo could only hear his own thoughts right now telling him how its all his fault, how stupid he was and how much a burden he really was.

Ren turned over quietly even though it was agony so he could face Horo. He brought his other hand over and placed it on Horos hand that cupped his other hand and squeezed tight. Horo soon darted his head up bringing his other hand to the bed and feeling for Rens face and upon finding it tried to make out the expression on it. He could feel the smooth skin that was relaxed and the mouth that was straight then worked up to the eyes that did not squint or tense. Horo found it hard to read Ren when he had a blank expression so this just made things harder, before all this he could look into Rens eyes and know what's going on but now he couldn't even do that. Horo just waited for Ren to say something squeezing back on his hand

"Horo, are you okay?" Ren asked in a dry voice only adding to Horos guilt

"I'm not important I didn't stab myself in the chest" Horo aid in a ruff tone sounding like a guilty man

"It's not your fault Horo, it was an accident" Ren assured pulling at Horos arm to bring him closer but Horo just sat still feeling like if he touched Ren again he'd hurt him more.

"Get some rest… you'll need it" Horo said emotionlessly turning his head so Ren couldn't see his distressed expression and empty eyes drained of everything. Ren watched his Koi sit in distress for a while but eventually Ren couldn't fight off sleep any longer and dropped off into a gentle sleep. Horo sighed knowing Ren had been laid there watching him but now Rens grip on his hand had loosened and steady even breathing was heard from the Tao as he slept. Horo thought about the gang and Raidon… he thought he recognised some of the voices, Raidon had hurt him before but this time he had cut much deeper than with a mere knife he had ripped his heart out and shown it to him before he died. Horo picked up the knife from the table counter. The nurse had brought it in and gave it to Horo for safe keeping for some odd reason. Horo felt over the knife, if it was the same knife there was a wolf engraved onto the handle. Horo ran his fingers across and felt the engravings. He couldn't make it out too good but the more he thought about it the more he was sure it was the same knife, same gang only with extra troops and the same Raidon. Horos blood boiled and face twisted gripping the knife before throwing the knife back on the table. Horo spoke out loud not sensing he and Ren were not the only 2 in the room

"Ren I don't care how but I'm going to find them and make them pay. They aren't getting away with this... not this time, not ever again" Horo gripped his fists together tight but soon they fell limp "who am I kidding I cant do anything as I am, I put you in here who knows who else I could hurt… lets face it as long as I'm blind I cant do anything"

"Then what if I said I could give you back your sight" a quiet voice arose from the room

"Who's there?" Horo questioned sitting up defensively

"I am a doctor here but unlike the rest of these doctors I can actually help you" the quiet voice held a braggy tone

"How could you possibly help me?" Horo asked interested in what this quiet man had to offer

"I can give you your sight back" the man said in a cocky manner

"You're kidding?" Horo asked wondering if it could be true

"I'm not a joker" the man assured

"What's the catch" Horo asked hesitantly knowing some people give to receive like kids that are good to get presents at Christmas

"I don't want money or anything like that if that's what you're thinking, I am not like the other doctors here I want to push the boundaries but they have dismissed my research saying it's inhumane or too risky but they are all fools" the quiet man hissed out the last of his words

"What do you mean 'inhumane' and 'too risky'?" Horo questioned suspiciously

"It means sometimes the experiments can be painful for the subject but don't you think the pain would be worth your sight?" the man questioned getting no answer "thought so, you have 15 minutes to meet me outside this hospital… so you have time to say bye to him and when he sees you again you'll be able to see him" the doctor walked out closing the door behind him. Horo sat pondering on the mans words and almost straight away decided to go but what about Ren, he didn't want to wake him and he didn't want to leave him with out a single word. Horo sat on the bed and cuddled Ren gently savouring the feel of Ren in his arms hoping this would be the last time he would have to find his Koi in the dark that had consumed his world. Horo leaned up and kissed Ren good-bye promising to be back as soon as he could running his hands through his hair one last time before standing and leaving the room. Horo stopped off at reception on his way to meet the doctor that had offered him his sight.

"Excuse me" Horo asked to whoever was typing on the computer behind the desk as he heard the clicking of the keys

"Yes Sir, how may I help?" a female voice asked

"I'd like to leave a note for Tao Ren and ask you to call some people to inform them of where he his" Horo said plainly and simply

"Sure, here's a pen and paper to write your message… if its personnel you can have an envelope too" the lady said gently placing a pen in his hand and a piece of paper

"Sure thanks" Horo quickly wrote down a message for Ren giving all his love and apologising for everything then slipped it into an envelope. Horo then wrote down the numbers she needed to call and whom she was to tell about Ren. She understood reading out the numbers and names to make sure he had them down correct before allowing him to leave. Horo walked out the doors listening for the man

"Hello?" Horo voiced out loud enough for anyone close to hear

"You came, that's good" the man seemed almost surprised when he said that

"Tell me what you're going to do then I'll go with you" Horo said in a commanding voice

"It's simple, you're the guinea pig for my work. You have an 80 chance of regaining your full sight and 100 chance of being in agony for a few days tops. But after I do this you cant change what happens, you cant try again and you cant ever fix it if something goes wrong understand?" the man stated seriously

"Yes" Horo said determined

"Good, you will stay in a small clinic of my making for a week from tomorrow… we should do the surgery straight away" the man grabbed hold of Horos arm and lead him away from the hospital "You are to stay in the clinic at all times for the week so I can monitor and research what happens… this is completely experimental but I'm sure it will all be worth it… if it works…" the man and Horo disappeared out of site into the dark streets not to be seen by anyone for a short while.

-Morning-

Everyone was notified during the night but none would be allowed to visit until morning during visiting hours. Ren when he woke was alone in the room, not long after a nurse came in and handed him an envelope leaving quickly. Ren sat up wincing at the tightness of his chest and wondering where Horo was and what was in the envelope. Ren opened it to find a piece of paper with untidy scribbles distinctively Horos handwriting. Ren read the letter carefully

'Dear Ren

I'm so sorry, I wish I could turn back time and undo what happened but I cant. I need to do something and won't be back for a little while; I hope you understand I need to do this for both of us. I'm sorry I hurt you and put you in that hospital bed, you know you died because of me but you came back like always. Tell everyone I'm fine and tell Pirika she doesn't have to worry. Know that I love you and I couldn't live with out you that's why I'm doing this. I'll be okay Ren don't worry about me… you helped me now I need to help us both, hope to see you soon

All my love

HoroHoro'

Ren sat on the bed with wet eyes reading Horos words and being enraged by them. Ren scrunched up the note and growled lowly as he threw the paper across the room breathing in heavy as his blood boiled and face twisted with a fierce enraged scowl and a hurt look in his eyes

"How dare you leave me Horo! You didn't even say good-bye! You think a measly little note wouldn't make it hurt? You… you… Ainu-Baka!" Ren shouted cursing Horo for going especially now of all times. Ren pulled his legs up into his chest and glared at the note on the floor as if it were Horo himself. Ren sat feeling abandoned and alone with no clue where Horo was or when he was coming back… that is if he's coming back. Ren sat solemnly even after Yoh and the others came he just stared at the paper on the floor not talking to them or answering their questions

"Ren? What's wrong? What you staring at?" Yoh asked looking in the direction of Ren was looking in and seeing the paper walking over and picking it up and un-crumpling it to read it

"Ren? Ren, where is Horo?" Pirika asked worrying for Horos safety too

"He's gone" Yoh said after re-reading the note

"What do you mean he's gone?" Pirika grabbed the note reading it and getting upset also. She threw the note on the floor and stormed out to look for him. Ren sat quiet not saying anything just turning to look out the window asking for mercy and for Horo to come back through that door smiling as if nothing had even happened… Rens prayer fell to deaf ears and he remained sat there gazing out over the empty streets long after the sun set alone with no word from anyone on Horo…

**Remember I can survive  
****Reserve your energy and stop your strive  
****Rejoice the fact we are both alive  
****Ren your touch helped me revive…**

**I once was blind… but your love helps me see… READ PLEASE**

_**EVERYONE has been cruel to Ren and Horo recently so I decided to join in… this is neither a happy or really sad ending, it's the best I could do I am not an angst writer I LOVE my happy endings so this is for those people who like sadness**_

**Rock-On!**


	10. Black and White

**Decided to add another chapter… so enjoy and Hope it's just the right balance for both happy and angst readers **

**Black and White**

The world is unbalanced

Its not as it should be

The darkness has swallowed many

Blinding them so they can't see

Good and evil

There cant be one with out the other

They are the same yet so different

Brother V's brother

Yin and Yang

Balance of black and white

Can't see in the darkness

Can't see in pure light

Black and white

That's how you should see this earth

With good parts and bad parts

From death comes birth

Light and dark

If out of the dark you saw light

If out of the light you saw dark

Blind in day and night

Demon and angel

One sins to love

Other loves to sin

Demons from below, angels from above

Fire and ice

Cancel each other out

But both still burn

Both deadly with out a doubt

Right and wrong

Is this really true?

Right could be wrong to me

Wrong could be right to you

We should not play god

We shouldn't take life

But sometimes even those who are good

Use the knife…

Horo stepped into a white room of an old and dreary clinic room. It didn't look like average hospitals with posters of heavy metal rock bands over the grimy white walls and ash all over the counters with cigarette ends flicked around here and there. The only place that looked clean was the one small room that had a stove with huge pots boiling and steaming most likely sterilising equipment. Horo even though he could not determine his surroundings using his eyes but could smell the cigarette buts and hear the pots bubble and boil. He leaned on a counter and felt the ashy residue under his fingertips starting to wonder about this place. He couldn't back out now; he couldn't go back to Ren empty handed. Horo still boiled with rage for what those no good street thugs done to him and what happened to Ren. Horo was angrier with himself but if you have ever hated yourself as much as Horo does you'll know how you can blindly take your anger out on others, when you have rage built up inside the slightest thing can send you over the edge and this case was no different

"I'm going to do the operation now, its simple using a few lasers, I may make an incision on your eyes but trust me its not until I start using the acids you should worry. I have to get the concentration just right" the man said plainly, Horo could hear him sparking up a lighter and then smell the thick smoke as he inhaled deep and blew out. The smoke lay heavy in the back of Horos throat making him cough ever so slightly.

"Oh, sorry, how inconsiderate of me" Horo heard the cigarette hit the floor and then the shuffle of the mans foot as he stomped it out. Horo nodded as a sign of thanks and then waited for the rest

"Okay, I'll warn you now once I strap you to that table your not getting off it till I'm done. This is will hurt and I don't mean like when your getting your teeth drilled pain I'm talking about your eyes burning out your sockets painful. I have some anaesthetics and stuff but they can only do so much so you still want to go through with it? … Last chance" the man explained in a serious tone. Horo fell silent envisioning Ren hurt and thinking is the pain worth seeing Ren again and getting those thugs back. Horos eyes turned to slits as he open his mouth lacing his words with his confidence in his answer

"Yes!" Horos voice was firm strong and showed no signs of doubt

"Good, this way" the man lead Horo by his arm to the clean room getting Horo to remove his jacket then showing him to the table. The man lowered Horo so he was lying down. He began to do up straps around his left wrist and then his upper left arm. He did them quite tight and then carrying on with the left ankle, left upper leg and then right ankle, right upper leg, right wrist, right upper arm and then one around Horos forehead. Horo gulped wondering what all the straps were needed for and wondering if the pain was really that bad he needed to be fully strapped to the table. The man coughed a few times before then warning Horo of a few things

"Okay, I'm going to give you a needle in your neck it'll sting but trust me you want this needle" the man brutally being honest pushed a needle into Horos neck with Horo gasping at it before then relaxing after it was taken out, it stung like a wasp sting but soon Horos mind just went… blank, he felt his body relax and it was like he was a million miles away with in a minute. Another strap was put over his neck only this one was padded and another around his waist. The man was heard moving some stuff around and the boiling pots no longer boiled in the back ground, the splashing of water as the man washed his hands was apparent and the sound of a few pieces of something metal clanked together a few times too as the man settled down next to Horo. Horo felt a pair of cold medical gloved hands open his eye and something was placed around his right eyelid to stop it from opening and closing. Horo felt a little uncomfortable but nothing severe he was too far-gone, he loved those drugs right now feeling light and fresh like pain was a vague memory. The man could be heard setting things up but Horo couldn't make out what he was doing. A high-pitched beep was heard then a drawn out low beep. Horo blinked a few times with his left eye just before feeling something being jabbed into his mouth. It was something hard but had foam around what seemed to be a mouthpiece. Horo was more than confused but couldn't exactly ask the man right now because of the huge ball shaped mouthpiece.

"Its so you don't smash your teeth together and it muffles down your screams, trust me you'll be glad it was there" the man said in a friendly yet serious way which didn't comfort at all. Horo relaxed again feeling blissful emptiness of his mind… that bliss lasted a only a few seconds longer as he felt searing pain shoot through his eye. It burned more than a red-hot poker being jabbed through his eye as acid swept over his eyeball burning away at it. Horo screamed as he felt the burning set his eye on fire and send pain souring through his brain with wave after wave of severe pain and distortion. Raw pain shot through his senses ripping apart the very fibres of his soul gripping him till he felt the contents of his stomach try push its way up out of his body. He couldn't think straight as he bit down hard on the mouth piece cutting away at the foam biting so hard you could hear the thick plastic buckle slightly and hear the teeth cut through the soft part of the mouthpiece right through to the tough hard rubbery plastic. It didn't stop there the slow steady beeps of something soon got quicker until it was one straight flat beep then a very focused burning agony shot through Horos eye and invaded his entire body. He felt his heart was about to explode and he struggled furiously only to find he couldn't move at all. His screams grew louder and the plastic crackled under the pressure of his teeth. Horo couldn't breath his entire body froze in twisted burning pain while his head throbbed and his eye socket melted. The pain only got more unbearable as tear flooding the surface boiling up under the heat of the laser and stinging his eyes and cheek as the hot tears ran down his face. His other eye shut so tight the eyelids could have fused together; this pain was too much driving Horo to just want to die and end it as his body convulsed and spasm with pain. Soon the heat stopped and the sore tender eye socket just throbbed and stung with no feeling except pain. He felt like clawing his eye out just to make it stop. He still writher in pain pulling until his waist arms and legs were bruised and his wrists and ankles bled from the struggle. The pain of those cuts and bruises didn't even begin to compare to that of his head. Everything was distorted with bright lights flashing around his right eye as the flesh around his socket bubbled with blistering pain. It seemed like an eternity before the scratchy feeling stopped and a wet pad was slapped on his eye hissing as it contacted with the boiling hot eye socket.

"Right now the other eye" the man scooted around and Horo felt his other eye being pulled open forcefully until it was wide open and then he was unable to shut his other eye either. Horo gripped his hands to the table preparing himself hearing the screechy beep then the long droning beep knowing what was going to happen whimpering into the mouth piece as the doctor started to perform the same thing to Horos other eye… Horos heart and stomach twisted until Horo wanted to throw up. He tried hard to keep his calm but the agony of it all still was too much and now the other eye was going to be the same. The doctor put his hand on Horos face once more to steady the shaking that was coming from Horos entire body starting all over sending Horo back into a state of Gethsemane (A state of spiritual and physical agony and unendurable pain)

**The world is unbalanced  
****Its not as it should be  
****The darkness has swallowed many  
****Blinding them so they can't see**

-2 days later-

Ren sat in the hospital bed cross-legged, he didn't want a visit from anybody and insisted to be left alone for ad least a day. Horo hadn't come back… Ren felt abandoned and uncared for. He wanted to know how Horo could leave him like this and with nothing more than a scribbled rough good-bye and an empty I love you. Ren thought he meant more than that. Ren shifted off the bed standing at the window looking at the streets as people walked by at what seemed super speed as if everything was passing by and leaving him there alone. Ren leaned on the frame sitting down in the chair next to the window thinking about everything that has happened. He didn't know why Horo didn't tell him more about how he felt, Horo was always so open and trusting but after he went blind… he couldn't show it anymore. Ren sighed thinking about it more and realising that was the point, to be locked in nothing but darkness not knowing what's going on around you or who's around you cant be easy the worlds too cruel and demanding to let you have a weakness. Ren tightened his fist up hating the world and hating all the people in it. Every one of them chocking the life out the only things good on this planet making the planet slowly sink further into darkness and chaos, Horo was blind but not half as blind as those people down there. Ren stood slamming the window shut blocking out all outside noises and sealing the curtains so the room fell dark laying on his bad huddled into a ball facing the wall with a pained and harsh look in his eyes just wanting to know why?

-With Horo-

Horo laid facing the wall shaking slightly, the painkillers were beginning to wear off again and his head throbbed. He had been tranquillised twice and was kept strapped to the table for about 24 hours. The doctor didn't want Horo going mad and trying to kill himself. Horo hugged himself thinking of what the past 2 days have been like. Every 4 hours the doctor removes the bandages and puts huge dabs of this fresh cool cream on each eye making the burning ache die down considerably. Horos eyes soaked the stuff up like a sponge with in 2 hours his eyes felt dry again gritty and hot like someone had taken a Bunsen burner to his eyes leaving hot ash tearing at his eyelids. Horo kept strong though hugging himself shaking a little thinking of how this would all be worth it, seeing everyone smile and most importantly seeing Ren. Horo didn't care if it wasn't perfect or if only one eye worked it was better than nothing. He was told it was a 50/50 deal it could go good or bad but the chances of it being perfect were about 2 at best. Horo still didn't care thinking of Rens eyes and his smile. Horo smiled along with the memory hoping that soon he could take off his bandages. He was disappointed that the first thing he would see was someone he had never seen before, a practical stranger who's idea of social interactions mumbling for the patient to be quiet or asking if Horo needed to be tranquillised to keep quiet. Yes the doctor was a charmer but that didn't matter as long as Horo could walk up to Ren proud and strong look into his eyes and be reassured they never have to worry again. Horo curled up more taking his pillow and hugging it to his chest for comfort rubbing his chin on it before trying to fall asleep after such a restless few days…

-Day 5-

Day 5 of the 7 and Horo started becoming impatient. His eyes still stung and ached with soreness but now he could physically blink even if it did feel like he had hot ash and gravel in his eyes. The doctor kept the bandages on now not removing them for going on 2 days. He sat smoking analysing everything asking questions and being his charming self

"I don't care if you're in pain anymore, I'll go bankrupt at this rate paying for all that shit" the man spoke in a raspy voice inhaling smoke as if it were much needed oxygen. Horo kept quiet just letting him have his rant before he leaves only coming back to check on his eyes. Horo didn't think food could get much worse than hospital food but this guy didn't even put things on a plate usually just handed Horo a tin and a spoon. Horo assumed it was better than starving eating what ever he was given but not liking it. Horo missed Ren a lot wondering how he was doing but he wasn't allowed to leave or else he would be by Rens side right now. Horo felt guilty as hell for what he did and how he did it but most of all he felt cowardly going while Ren was asleep and leaving a short uninformative note. Horo sighed to himself hugging his legs as the man spoke

"Change in plans blue-boy, looks like you got to stay a little longer" the man said unemotionally flicking through his note pages

"What!" Horo shouted in his direction tensing his hands into fists and baring his teeth looking like he was ready to attack to kill

"Hey! You want this doing right or not" the man retorted waiting for Horo to calm down, Horo did so but still looked angry and upset by the thought of having to be in that place longer "You only got to stay a few more days its going slow and you don't want to go walking around with huge charred eyes you'll scare little children" the man sounded too cocky as he leaned back in his chair ready to go to sleep "besides staying with me a few more days isn't so bad"

"Yes it is" Horo said flatly laying down and getting ready to sleep too.

-With Ren-

Ren hadn't talked much and refused to have the window or curtains open, he sat in the dark most the time with the few exceptions of when Yoh or anyone else comes to visit. He gets some sort of false hope every time he hears footsteps approaching and the door handle turns only to be disappointed by a nurse or a visitor. It was nice people cared but the one person he needed really wasn't there. Ren cursed Horo a million times over hating he loved him just wanting to be able to hate him thinking it would be easier… but Ren couldn't and the words of the letter were his only real hope.

**Good and evil  
****There cant be one with out the other  
****They are the same yet so different  
****Brother V's brother**

-Final day-

This was the day; a whole 10 days in that place and his bandages were really coming off. Horo was anxious and excited at the same time. The man wasn't gentle or slow about it tugged the back and then twirled his hand round until the bandages fell down and then removed them, he was more gentle with the eye patches telling Horo to close his eyes then taking them off dimming the lights down before telling Horo to open his eyes. The doctor put the light up further and further until it was brightly on. Horo blinked back the light still being bright but not really hurting so much. Horo looked around the room seeing outlines of things and seeing the tall straggly man with a skinhead and rolled up sleeved. He wore a lab coat but had tatty jeans on. Horo couldn't believe it… he could see, that's the only thing that he thought of was the fact he could see things. He lifted his hands up looking at them seeing they each digit and small scabbed over cuts that were almost gone now. He looked across the room and saw a mirror standing to take a closer look. He went to the mirror seeing something he remembered… or ad least he thought he remembered. He looked the same in shape size and everything like that but his skin way greyish hair two shades of black and eyes not blue but an off grey colour and beedy black in the middle. Horo looked at everything again seeing the walls were white and grey, the pictures were all different greys and blacks mixed with splashes of white. Everything was… black and white… Horo wasn't blind per say… he was… colour-blind. This sent Horo a back, everything looked in place he could see perfect every distinctive line and shade but… he couldn't see colour. That took the edge of the dream come true. Horo closed his eyes and sighed

"What? The place not as glamorous as you thought hmm?" the man asked sarcastically sparking up a cigarette

"In your statistics did me becoming colour blind come up?" Horo asked in a small voice

"What?" the doctor said walking over and shining a light in each of Horos eyes not bothering to remove the cigarette as he leaned over Horo and checked each eyes repeatedly. "Shit! I knew I shouldn't have used a substance so acidic" the man stepped away throwing his cigarette against the wall and noting some stuff down "You literally have the eyes of a dog man, I don't get it this thing is screwed. Everything is fine your eyes pick up movement and light quicker than average and your eyes seem to be in working order but your receptors just aren't picking up colour" the man looked to Horo who stood looking over everything "are you listening?" the man asked in an annoyed tone

"Huh? Yeah sorry" Horo answered giving the man his attention

"There aint nothing I can do but count yourself lucky, you may not be able to tell red from green but you can see just as clear if not more clear than anyone else… just don't go driving it could get messy" the man threw Horos coat at him and sparked up another cigarette "go on, get outta here" the man gestured to the door and turned around writing some more notes down quickly. Horo didn't know what to say just stood there for a minute putting his coat on and zipping it up

"Thank you…" Horo said just audible and left closing the door behind him heading off to the last place Ren was…

**Yin and Yang  
****Balance of black and white  
****Can't see in the darkness  
****Can't see in pure light**

Ren stood fully clothed and with his coat on packing his bag ready to leave the room that was like a prison for the past week or more. He didn't tell the other he was leaving the hospital just thought he would drop in unannounced to make sure they didn't fuss or anything. He had only had his heart pierced by a knife then had his heart broken by the same person all with in 24 hours. Ren didn't feel like making a song and dance about that. Ren shoved his belongings into his bag not noticing someone staring at him from a few metres away.

"Ren?" a voice asked from behind him

"Yeah, what do you…" Ren recognised the voice trailing off and turning his head sharply to see if it really was whom he thought it was. Ren stared wide-eyed thinking he was hallucinating again. Ren stepped away from the bed slightly wondering if it really was Horo stood there.

"Horo?" Ren asked squinting his eyes in disbelief. He saw a ghost of a smile come across Horos face as he looked at Ren who just seemed to in shock to register anything new. It didn't take Ren long to rush up and pull Horo into a hug squeezing the living day lights out of him placing firm kisses between sentences holding Horos head with both hands as Horo hooked around his waist.

"Where the hell were you?" Ren asked placing a kiss on Horos lips before starting again "are you okay?" another frenzied kiss "did anyone harm you?" then placed another very big kiss on Horo while puling him as close as possible. Horo soon had a moment he could talk shushing Ren and stroking his hair to calm his worry as Ren buried his face into Horos shoulder

"I'm fine Ren" Horo said just holding Ren looking down at him loving the cuddly sight but that moment didn't last long as Ren wasn't just going to forget he left. Ren pulled back and bashed Horos shoulder so he hit the wall then Ren quickly grabbed Horos shirt pinning him to the wall glaring at him

"What the hell were you thinking?" Ren asked looking to Horo for an answer but only getting silence "did you really think you could just leave with out a word of warning and leave a crappy note you must of spent 2 minutes thought on!" Ren tightened his grip on Horos shirt now looking more dangerous as Horo still stood silent "answer me!" Ren demanded hating that Horo just stood there staring… wait, staring? Ren thought about that for a second wondering why Horo seemed to be looking right at him when he's blind. Ren picked up a hand and moved it side to side in front of Horos face seeing Horos eyes follow it before lowering it and standing slack jawed. Ren was speechless and couldn't believe it.

"Horo?" Ren spoke softly staring into Horos still eyes that did look more dazzling blue than before "Can you see me?" Ren asked hopefully not noticing the huge smile that came on Horos face

"Yes" was Horos plain answer as he cuddled up to Ren looking him in the eye "and your just as I remember" Horo leaned down kissing Ren for a moment but getting no response from Ren who couldn't even blink right now as if loosing eye contact with Horo meant him never seeing his eyes look at him like that again. They both stayed still for a moment before Ren then got curious and overly happy though not showing the extent of his joy being the held back kind of person he is.

"How? When? I cant believe it" Ren questioned throwing his arms around Horos neck and wanting answers

"You'll know in time but right now… I just want to look at you" Horo looked over Ren and contently traced over all he saw with Ren just staring in amazement. Horo let a little smile take over as he lifted Ren off the ground with his arms and spun around a few times in a dazedly happy way making Ren grip and glare but it faded when Horo put him down looking so happy.

**Black and white  
****That's how you should see this earth  
****With good parts and bad parts  
****From death comes birth**

Ren didn't take long to let go of his anger knowing Horo had good reason to leave even though the way he left was selfish. Ren leant up and began his little kissing game again only Horo joined in nicely sealing them together refusing to loose eyes contact at all. They backed up and slowly crept onto the bed laying down and cuddling still looking at each other. Horo had lots to say and ask about the 10 days, Ren just shrugged it off even though it was killing him not having Horo there and not knowing when he would get back. Horo babbled mostly just wanting to hear Rens voice and see Rens face light up when ever he was affectionate to him. Horo finished his brief uninformative explanation of what happened, he left out the agony part and wanting to die and nearly going mad from the pain part out not wanting to cause Ren any concern at all. He also left out the most important part about him not being able to see colour but that didn't matter to him at all so he didn't think Ren would care either. Horo felt he had cuddled long enough and began to unbutton Rens coat, then Ren joined in mimicking Horo and removing Horos coat as Horo removed his. Then the shoes were slipped off and then t-shirts. Horo removed Rens and then stopped his strip to trace across a stitched up hole he left on Rens chest. They must of put a seal on it instead of bandages leaving a quite exposed wound. Rens heart sank seeing Horos eyes go sad and cold looking over the nasty reminder of those gang members. Horo traced around it not wanting to touch it after all it was his hand that put it there. Ren hugged closer but Horos guilt and built up anger took over as his eyes watered slightly. Ren shushed him and took Horo into his protective arms

"Horo?" Ren asked worriedly

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that… I didn't know… I couldn't see you" Horo reminisced but Ren pulled himself over Horo getting rid of the tears in his eyes with the tips of his fingers wiping away the saddened waters his eyes produced kissing where the tears were in a healing manner. Horo wrapped around Ren so tight it was surprising Ren could breath but Ren made no complaint just laid there and watched as his Koi fall asleep in his arms obviously tired and worn out from what ever had happened over the last 10 days. Ren too was tired finding he couldn't sleep knowing Horo was out there blind helpless… alone. Ren pulled his arms to rest on Horos chest and his face nose to nose with Horo so they both shared their breath in and out perfectly matching each other as they fell asleep. Horo didn't sleep long though waking from unsettling nightmares. These nightmares made Horos blood boil to the point he needed to go for a walk. He put on his clothing wrapping Ren up tight in his blankets ready to get even with the people who caused his pain. Horo couldn't let them ever hurt him or especially Ren again. He left the building intending on returning before Ren woke up but in Horos angry focus he didn't notice Ren was already awake and waiting until it was safe to follow wanting to find out what his lover was up to. Ren sat up after the door was closed watching out the window while putting on some clothing as Horo quickly walked down the street heading north.

Horo walked for over an hour until he reached a familiar place that still had slight staining from the blood of his love, blood that was spilt by his hands with the knife of his enemy. Horo stood tall putting on a pair of old shades he had been using when he was blind finding it very difficult to see through them in the pitch black. Horo listened and listened good as the fading sounds of people walking home from late night shifts and drunks strolling to the next bar or club. The place fell silent except for the inevitable footsteps of several heavy people, recognisable footsteps that pounded with superiority over all that stood in their path. Horo heard a voice shout from the distance towards him but ignored it turning to face the other direction trying to reel in the gang. Horo held a familiar object firm in his hand that was shoved carelessly into his pocket making sure it was still there before removing his hands empty and blowing in them warming his finger tips up as the voices were now steps away

"I think he's in love, keeps coming back for more" one spoke out at random

"Nice, my toy came back to finish our game" Jovi sang in joy, Horo turned and looked at the figures pretending blind to them but actually seeing them clear

"You're not getting away with what you did" Horo spoke out shifting his eyes over the group that seemed to grow larger every time he saw it. Horo saw in the dark as if it were light, the greys and blacks emphasised so well he could make out the features and movements better than they could his… it was as if light and dark blended perfectly to give him a kind of sight no one had

**Light and dark  
****If out of the dark you saw light  
****If out of the light you saw dark  
****Blind in day and night**

"We didn't do anything, we were having a little fun but you had to take it too far, after all it was you who stabbed your friend not us" he said with a laugh "right boys?"

"Right Raidon" they all said simultaneously

"You beat me, put me down, tried to kill me, wanted to rape me, and then tricked me into killing my Koi! And you say you did nothing!" Horo shouted at them clenching his fists

"I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to let you kill your fag boyfriend" a snickering little man said bouncing around hyperactively "Raidon, lets just kill him"

"Not yet you freak, what's the fun in that" Jovi hit the little mans arm

"Just kill him, I want to see that grimy little faggot Ainu die. All those dirty tree huggers should! My old man always told me how to deal with their kind… kill them quick and throw them into a ditch like the gutter crawling roaches they are"

"Your dad overdosed too, should we all do that?" Jovi spat

"What did you say!" the little guy shouted getting in Jovis face until Raidons annoyed grumble made them both shut up and separate like puppies being told off by their master.

**Demon and angel  
****One sins to love  
****Other loves to sin  
****Demons from below, angels from above**

So little Ainu, any last words. After all, you didn't learn… this is our neighbourhood, our park, our rules and you don't seem to be playing nice" Raidon circled Horo who didn't react just kept still not moving his head so it kept the illusion he's blind but really who is it that doesn't see

"Do your worst" Horo ground out waiting for them to attack as they circled, 1…. 4… 7… 10 all accounted for now a plan to divide and conquer. Horo decided the ones trying to sneak around his left would go first being the larger group of 6. Horo allowed them to get close enough then ducked under a fist springing back up knocking 1 to the ground and then quickly dodged in and out taking out each one by one. Determination can make you go so very far and Horo had enough determination to get him through all 6 and leaving him with the main 4. Raidon stood looking on narrowed eyes and deep frown. Horo skulked into the shadowy areas where it was hard to distinguish Horos movements and let the 3 others follow. Raidon watched passively as one by one his lackeys were thrown from the shadows carelessly. Horo emerged looking almost inhuman. Raidon now got interested. He stepped forward and stances opposite Horo who even though looked ready to take on the world also looked like the other tussles had worn him down a great deal. Horo looked over Raidon then removed his glasses revealing blood shot eyes, his pupils small and the blue indistinguishable in the dark making his eyes go grey and red. Horos eyes looked like ice with a glint of rage just embedding itself making the face twist and the pupils grow small and focused upon the target. Raidon smirked at Horo with a sense of superiority and a lot of confidence.

**Fire and ice  
****Cancel each other out  
****But both still burn  
****Both deadly with out a doubt**

Raidon approached quicker until he was directly in front of Horo. He held his arms out and smirked deciding to let Horo have a free shot. Horo didn't argue he hit Raidon hard in the jaw sending Raidon back a bit and almost toppling over. This would of left any man out cold or would have done some decent damage but to Raidon it was just a sucker's punch and he shrugged it off. Horos eyes widened as Raidon brought his fist up and in a split second made contact with Horos shoulder sending Horo flying backwards and onto the ground. Horo stood up shakily only to be rammed to the ground and pinned Horos arms to his chest pushing down hard so Horo struggled to breath properly. Horo felt the grip tighten and looked to his face, the smile was crippling and how evil, superior and cold it was. How can a smile conjure so much fear and desperation? Raidon brought a fist up and struck it to Horos shoulder making something pop and snap just in that one fluid motion. Horo screamed out and struggled more only to have that painful shoulder pushed against the floor so bones grinded together and misshaped, Horo could feel things tear under his skin painfully and slow. Raidon was enjoying it, he breathed in deeper and quicker with excitement wanting to make this last, it was a tasty sight to him, something he wanted to savour.

"You are a very interesting guy, you know that?" Raidon asked in amusement "You want to blame me don't you?" Raidon whispered to Horo who wanted to block him out and not listen "Blame me for what you did to that guy… blame me for every single person who hurt you because of your dirty little race" Raidon smirked as he saw rage build up in Horos eyes and feel his heart race with adrenalin. Raidon swept through Horos pockets removing the knife that had pierced Rens heart, Horo was intending to make Raidon feel that same pain, of something stabbing your heart, making it so you can't function you cant breath you cant live… just like the stabbing pain he felt when he realised who was on the receiving end of the anger he had felt in which made him use that knife. Raidon smirked flipping it out and looking at it with joy filled eyes, the irony of ending Horos life with this knife was just a huge thrill to Raidon, a truly sick individual. He raised the knife holding it in the air so Horo could see it and let the image linger. Raidon then set aim to Horos chest right in the middle where his heart is. Raidon started to bring it down, lunging it at Horos chest when something knocked the knife out of Raidons hand and an impact was made to his face. Horo looked up and saw his guardian angel, Ren stood with a Kwan Dao poised and ready lifting it and making a swipe at Raidon so he backed off. Raidon stood looking thoroughly pissed, he had the timing, the right weapon and had his eyes set on a kill and Ren took that away. Raidon set his sights on a new target; he started to concoct sick things in his head. To kill this guy in front of the Ainu would destroy his soul, would break his heart beyond repair and Raidon loved the idea… he being the hand of mercy that ended the dirty Ainus pain and killed him… no matter how slow a death

"Looks like my fun just doubled" Raidon stood and lunged at Ren who quickly avoided the attacks. Ren and Raidon were toe to toe in a battle with Ren running low quickly because of his unhealed wounds. Horo raised himself off the ground and pushed himself onto his knees. He looked over to Ren and Raidon seeing how much Ren struggled. Raidon soon got in landing a hit to Rens stomach then chest making Ren fall onto the ground. Raidon loomed over Ren picking up the Kwan Dao that lay beside Ren and admiring it for a moment, Raidon raised it in the air and smirked as he held it high ready to make contact with Ren. Horo saw all this in slow motion, his heart slowed and breathing stopped, and he caught sight of something shiny…

**Right and wrong  
****Is this really true?  
****Right could be wrong to me  
****Wrong could be right to you**

Ren watched as the Kwan Dao began to plummet from high heading straight for him, he tried to move but knew he wouldn't be able to move quick enough to avoid. Just when Ren was sure it was it, and he was going to be saying good-bye to this world to this life and to his love… a flash of blue came across his sights. Horo stepped up in the way throwing himself at Raidon. It all happened so fast, Horo suddenly came up in front of him and knocked Raidon down… and Raidon didn't move after he hit the floor and his grip on Rens weapon became loose. All went still, quiet and eerily cold. Ren sat up slowly and looked at Horo who sat over the motionless body of Raidon whimpering slightly. Rens eyes widened when he saw the small river going away from Raidons body and the realisation of why Raidon went down so easy came to Rens mind

"Horo…" Ren whispered pulling himself up and stumbling to Horos side wrapping his arms around Horo tight as tears came down Horos cheeks

"I… I couldn't let him do it…" Horo chocked out before taking his hands away from Raidons chest, unravelling his fingers from the knife "It's all my fault" Horo began to sob chocking on his own shame just confused at how or why he could do such things. Horo turned to Ren with sad, ashamed blue eyes looking helplessly at him "Ren? What have I done?" Horo whispered putting his head on Rens shoulder as Ren hooked around him pulling him off the corpse formally known as Raidon. Horo threw his arms around Ren and just cried his heart out, with Ren being the bravest he could be and holding back his tears shushing Horo. Ren had killed before, he knew it was hard to deal with but for Horo it was a lot more than just a kill… it was an act against everything he ever believed to be right, against his nature and against his heart. Ren stayed with Horo there as even after he heard the sirens and saw the flashing lights…

The police covered up the knowing the history of the area and the gang in question sent both Ren and Horo home… It was written down as self defence against a gang attack, all the evidence pointed to it and even though some of the officers knew otherwise, decided to overlook the fact Horo had gone there looking for them because even though it was a sad thing to see a death… the streets will be a lot safer and fewer attacks, rapes and kills will happen, that one wrong act stopped several other wrong acts but does that make it right? Horo didn't say much and neither did Ren, Ren gently kissed the tears away and stayed with Horo and vowed he would heal this broken heart of his… somehow…

**We should not play god  
****We shouldn't take life  
****But sometimes even those who are good  
****Use the knife…**

**Two wrongs don't make a right…**


End file.
